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Dear Pots...a Non-Love Letter!


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Dear POTS,

I'm writing to share with you a difficult truth; there's no easy way to say this, so I'll be brief and to the point--NOBODY LIKES YOU. I know, I know, but it's true! Trust me. People think you're difficult and unnecessarily complicated and generally unpleasant. You know what else? You're sneaky, and nobody likes a sneak. You come in and bother people when they're minding their own business--walking, sleeping, working, playing with their kids. You overstay your welcome, and you never let anyone know how long you'll be staying--how rude! Also--nobody really knows where you come from--oh, we have our suspicions, but you're not talking, so it's up to us to figure it out. Not even doctors know where you come from, so whichever secret agency you work for is clearly superior to the FBI and CIA.

AND....you confuse people and freak them out...making them think they have MS or Lupus or Lou Gehrig's or brain tumors or all of the above. So, I suppose I could compliment you on your gift for mimicry, but I'm not feeling generous at the moment, so I won't. Could you, you know, just make up your MIND and decide on ONE symptom at a time? Racing heart OR vertigo, perhaps, but not both. Your indecisiveness is SUPER unattractive.

I'd REALLY like to break up with you, actually, but you're a super stalker and impossible to shake, That's why I'm writing this letter--I may be stuck with you, but I don't have to LIKE you. I think you're a big fat jerk, actually, and everyone agrees with me. So this is why you don't get invited to parties or weddings or graduations--you always manage to crash these events, but nobody wants you there!

Sincerely,

Mad At You In Maryland

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How true! Thanks for sharing.

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hahahahahaha! fabulous!

I'm saving this for those POTSY days when you just need a smile.

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  • 3 weeks later...

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