Hi Ernie, I am sorry that this has happened to you. However, I am glad that you have shared your secret. That is a tough burden to bear alone, and you are among friends here. You are not alone, Ernie. With every spell, we are all right there with you. While my experience is nothing compared to yours, I know that feeling of isolation; being a "medical anomaly". I, too, have "strange things" that doctors currently cannot explain. I, too, am a benchmark. In fact, I was one of Dr. Low's research patients (this was after I saw him for the medical issues, he asked me if I would do it because I had things happen during testing that he could not explain). I know it is scary. For me, I really tortured myself with the "what if" questions, because the truth is that when I go into autonomic crisis, nobody really knows what to do with me, not even the so called experts. It's just me and my body, fighting to hang on - alone. What helped me was practicing mindfulness, and living in the current moment. I also have tried very hard to come to terms with death itself, and when I did that, the "what if" thoughts stopped. While I don't want to die either, I know that I will someday. We all will. It is a very natural part of every life cycle. The way I approach it is, since death is inevitable, why worry about it? It is guaranteed to happen, so why waste my valuable energy worrying about it? I try instead to focus on myself here and now, while I still live and breathe. I focus on my family, the people I love. Your body has been through **** Ernie, but you are still here. If your body made it through before, it can make it through again. And remember - doctors are human beings, and the only difference between them and us is simply more education. They can NEVER say with certainty when someone will die, so do not take what they say to heart (pun intended ). You can do this, Ernie, and you will come through. You are still here, in spite of the worst health, YOU ARE STILL HERE! Have faith in yourself, Ernie. We will all be here with you!