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I Want To Rewind The Year And Start Over


carlacat

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Well here I am posting to let everyone know where I stand at this point in life. I've been working full time since August and my body just cant take it anymore. The pain is increasing with my muscles and joints and I'm constantly wore out. Which means I'm gonna have to go back to working part time after I get my body straightened out.

Then on New Years my nervous system went all out of whack and I'm a nervous wreak because my dad 74 yrs old went to the ER New Years eve by ambulance cause he had a seizure, found out he also had a heart attack. Then after tests were ran found out he had a brain tumor in which they removed first week in Jan.

The tumor was cancer, he also has lung cancer, a spot on his kidney and his adrenal gland. He had a pet scan last week and tomarrow (tues) we will find out where all the cancer is in his body. He also starts radation on his head tomarrow and then will start chemo after that.

He is so tired now that I'm afraid he wont be able to handle the treatments. I want to get my body feeling better (if possible) so I can help with my dad. I'm the only daughter so between me and my step mother, were gonna have our hands full.

I'm tired, I'm depressed and I pray everyday for God to give me strength. I'll welcome all prayers at this point.

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I'm sorry that your life has gotten so hard.

Sorry about your dad. Cancer is a mean mean villain. My stepdad has been battling with metastatic melanoma for the past 15 years; each time he goes for a scan our whole family collectively holds our breath. My thoughts are with you and your dad. Sending you my most calming and healing wishes.

Love, nina

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Guest tearose

I am very sorry to hear this news. This is such a difficult time and most certainly I will pray for your father. More prayers go out for you and your step mother to have continued strength.

warmest regards,

tearose

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Dear Carla-- What you're going through is devastating. From a family with 2 generations of only children, I understand the enormous stress that your dad's illness places on your shoulders, when you yourself need help.

I will pray for you, your dad and your step-mom. My heart goes out to you. It's so difficult to want to be strong for the ones you love when you are barely able to make it through each day. May God's grace rest on you,

Kristen

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Update...Dad had his first radation treatment today, he has to have it 5 days a wk for 3 weeks.

We also met with the cancer doctor, the pet scan showed active cells in his lungs (which is where the cancer started), his adrenal gland and a couple glands in his stomach. He is hoping that the cancer cells in his brain hasnt spread.

After the radation we will meet with him and discuss chemo in which I really dont think dad is gonna be able to handle it. He is so tired, in the waiting room he kept falling asleep. He is in stage 4 now, they can try and prolong his life with the chemo and radation but cant cure him.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Carla,

I'll keep you and your dad in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there!!

Jacquie

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  • 4 weeks later...

Sorry I havent been in touch lately but answer to one of your questions, dad is 74 yrs old. He finished up his radation and starts chemo mar 19th (wed). Its so over whelming with all they tell ya at these appt and me with my fibro fog I have to write everything down. As for dad he cant remember what they tell him so we have to keep reminding him over and over.

The doc said he probably wont get his hearing back either. Dad is just so tired and short of breath, I really think that after a couple treatments and he gets sick, he wont continue them.

I have to say I wouldnt blame him, but thats his decision. Its him that is dealing with all the side effects. I know it sounds awful of me saying that but they are trying to prolong his life and there is no time limit on that so if he is really sick with the treatments then why spend the rest of his life being so sick. I dont know, I'm just babbling.

This is just so hard to deal with and trying to keep my nerves from going haywire on me which makes my pots alot worst.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Carla--

I was just thinking of you today and wondering how you and your father are doing. I'm sory to hear that this overwhelming process is going on with the chemo. It must be so difficult for you to go through this. How are you feeling physically? Are you still working at your full time job through all this?

Take care,

Kristen

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Hi Carla--

I was just thinking of you today and wondering how you and your father are doing. I'm sory to hear that this overwhelming process is going on with the chemo. It must be so difficult for you to go through this. How are you feeling physically? Are you still working at your full time job through all this?

Take care,

Kristen

That was nice of you thinking of me today. My dad is feeling really really tired. He goes next week for another chemo treatment, MRI of his head and then we have an appt with the radation doc to see if the radation did any good on the "left over" cancer cells in his head. Yes, it is very difficult.

No, I'm not working anymore. I have found that all of this has just set me off on my symptoms. I dont know if its the fibro fog or the Pots but I am having a hard time of remembering things and sleeping at night. I think there are so many things going on that I'm so stressed out my brain is just boggled.

Plus I'm going thru a very bad depression stage right now and that dont help matters.

As for my dad, since he is in stage 4, they are just trying to prolong his life because the doc said the treatments will not make it go away. He hasnt had any real bad side effects yet, but the next treatment may kick him in the rear. Thanks for asking. I try to keep smiling......

Carlacat

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  • 2 weeks later...

Updating on my dad...he went to his chemo appt last wed and had a reaction to the treatment (he was having difficulty breathing) so they took him off the drip and this wed they will discuss our other options of chemo and go from there. We have 3 appts this week, plus I'm having to pay out 300.00 for a muffler on my car. My cat went to the vet for surgery today because she has a tumor in her ear.

This has got to stop sometime soon.

I sound like a cry baby today dont I?? Sorry..just venting

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you don't sound like a cry baby at all... you sound like you're hanging on as best you can during a really tough time. We all need a time to vent so that we can make it through whatever stands before us. I hope it helps to know that others are thinking of you and your dad. Love to you. Nina

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey Carla-- Just checking in to see how things are going with you. You have been in my thoughts because of your dad. My family went through a similar struggle, and I know how agonizing it can be, as well as physically and emotionally draining. Do you have help and support from friends or family nearby?

Anyway, let us know how you are when you have time.

(hugs)

Kristen

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  • 2 weeks later...

Sorry I havent updated for a while. Dad started his new chemo treatments, first day was a 3 hr treatment plus we were there for about 5 hrs. The three days after the treatment dad was really sick and exhausted. All he does is sleep anyways. The last treatment was only 1/2 hr long but then again we set there for 2 hours waiting on bloodwork to come back etc...

He did much better on that treatment, he wasnt so sick afterwards. They gave him a perscription (womans horrmone) to get his appetite back. he still isnt eating alot. He is still on the seisure meds and about 8 other pills. He gets frustrated cause he wants to do something around the house and just cant do it. The brain MRI came back good and the radation doc said that there is no signs of cancer cells in the brain left from the tumor. The cancer in his lungs is causing him shortness of breath which I notice more and more.

He has two weeks off before he goes back for the 3 1/2 hr treatment again. Blood work is today to check his blood levels. As for me, brain fog is really hitting me hard. My husband thinks I'm losing my mind cause I forget so easy. I had an appt with my doc for my yearly and mammagram(which all turned out good) but she said the memory thing is because of depression and my pots, she raised my zoloft to 100...thank goodness. Sorry so long.....

Carlacat

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I imagine that you must be physically and emotionally stressed to the maximum--it's pretty amazing that you're there for your dad. I hope that he starts rebounding from all the treatments and perks back up soon. Do your best to get what rest you can! I'm thinking of your family.

Nina

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  • 2 weeks later...

Me again!!! Dad's treatment were suspose to be 3 1/2 hrs long wednesday but his white blood cell count is down so they just did a 45 min treatment. He had sickness afterwards but the meds they gave him for nausa seems to be helping.

So just hangin in there takin it day by day. I've been having alot of problems with my knee joints and muscles lately, I guess its the fibo kicking in.

Just wanted to give an update.

Carlacat

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