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I survived my first term in Oxford- officially!


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Exactly as it says above....

I handed in my essay....my term's work is DONE!!!!

I walked ALL the way to my tutor's room from my flat (about a 40 minute walk)...I was fine til I got to the half hour mark then the POTS kicked in...but I managed to get there with no stick, no scooter, no wheels of any kind!

I had a bad POTS attack when I stood up to leave but I didn't lose consciousness at all....I had the shakes down my right side, the spaghetti legs and all the sparkles in the vision....but I still think I was triumphant because I had walked all the way there, and handed my essay in....

This is the first autumn term I have been able to complete since 2002...I was too long in hospital in 2003 to continue with my first term of the final year at St Andrews, and then when I tried to repeat it in 2004 the same thing happened again, only I broke my foot and the POTS went REALLY crazy.

I feel SO proud that I have kept at it, and not just quit. I've gone home more than I would have liked to this term, which probably is a sign of weakness on my part, BUT my work is in, I had a really lovely meeting with my tutor (you know the one I've mentioned before- who is so understanding and unlike almost everyone else is ACTUALLY on my side).

My tachy was really bad this afternoon in front of her, I was gasping and she sat on the pavement with me and said "just lean on me, it's all right. Don't be frightened- just let it happen." I said "It's the not being able to breathe properly that does it, really- that scares me the most." And she said the magic words then- I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH.

Empathy- all we need, sometimes, isn't it?

Anyway, so I would just like to say thanks to those of you who offered support and encouragement during what has actually been the most difficult three month period I think I've ever had- Oxford has been demanding in so very many ways. But I am still here, hanging on!


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Hey, congrats about completing the semester!!!! :)


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THanks everyone! I celebrated today by going to Cambridge to their manuscript exhibition- some of the most fantastic manuscripts in the world are there....it was heavenly!

I went with a really lovely couple I know from Oxford and it was like a breath of fresh air- they knew EXACTLY what it was like to feel tired and they didn't push me to do anything too much...

They asked if I wanted to sit down, if I felt able to walk, if I was ready to get lunch etc etc...SO kind, what a difference when people are like that!

A REALLY inspiring day B)

PLUS my seasonal affective disorder should get better- this is the shortest day of the year so things can only get lighter, can't they!

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many congrats pers...i definitely know how big the accomplishment is having been trying to make it through the grad school maze myself this semester. and you're a step ahead of me at this point as i still have a paper to turn in for one of my classes.

so....congrats congrats congrats. and so glad that you were able to have such a great celebratory day today to boot.

B) melissa

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