Our Dog Died Today

[carinara]

Iam so sad because our dog died today. It was totally unexpected. Tamis was her name and she was 15 years old.

She wasnt feeling well since yesterday afternoon and i had a strange feeling that it might be something bad.

This morning my partner took her to the vet and they gave her a few shots and told us to bring her back in the morning

to take some blood. A few hours ago she couldnt walk anymore, lost blood and died in my arms. Oh god, i felt so sick,

my HR shot up and i felt all the adrenalin coming out of every corner in my body. My partner called the vet and we were

supposed to take Tami to him straight away, he thought that he might be able to safe her. When my partner asked me if

i can drive there, i wasnt able to. My POTS Symptoms hit me so hard, i wasnt even able to get up. So he took our sweet

little dog to the vet and i was left at home alone with my body going crazy. I wished i could have come with him, but

how? As i was sitting at home hoping and praying that Tami will be ok whilest my body was going nuts, i felt so helpless.

Here i am, loosing my dog, and i cant do anything, i cant carry her, i cant walk to the vet. Because of these massive

symptoms. I feel so helpless. These symptoms increase so much in during stressfull situations, and this was a very

emotional stressfull situation today. I started feeling so sick, sitting there in my chair, waiting for my partner to return

home, hoping that everything went well. After a while i was at a point were my symptoms really scared me and i was

scared that they would get out of controll (as i experienced before). But i also knew that i wouldnt ring my boyfriend

to help me, because Tami was more important at the moment. I wanted so bad, to just be able to stand up and walk

or drive there to be with them, but i couldnt. THen my 12 year old daughter came home and i had to tell her what

happened. Whilest telling her, i had to watch my body and my symptoms because they were getting out of control.

I wish i could just concentrate on the emotional side and take care of my family and my daughter. But my POTS Symptoms

seem to want all the attention. Right now my boyfriend is on his way to the vet. He is picking up Tami and with the

help of a friend, he will bury her in my parents garden. I wish i could come, but i cant. I have a bad headache and

as soon as i stand up my symptoms hit me hard. And tomorrow is monday and i have a 10 hour work day in front

of me (because of a meeting after regular work).

Iam so sad and wonder how my body would react if something bad with (for example) a family member would happen. How would i manage

my symptoms. then? I feel as if iam a strong person mentally, but my body seem to have its own mind and moreso in them sort of situations.

Iam so glad that my boyfriend was with me when it happened. I could have never ever handled

driving Tami to the vet and so on, on my own. i wish that i would just be my normal self without

these silly symptoms in these sort of situations. I want to be there, help Tami, comfort my family but instead i have

to deal with these extra strong symptoms. This frustrates me so much.

How do you all handle situations like this. Thanks a lot for your advice

carinara

[morgan617]

I am so sorry! As a person who has lost many beloved pets, I can imagine your heart break over this. My symptoms have prevented me from some things that I really needed to have the strength for, so I am so sorry for that too. Tamis will live in your hearts forever, and you were there at the most crucial time, your baby was still alive. My sympathies and thoughts go out to you! morgan

[Sophia3]

oh, honey..I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your dog. I have two cat companion animals that ARE my children.

First, do not be so hard on yourself...mental stress can be worse than physical..and the loss of a pet is a HUGE impact on our emotional state and to our stress levels. I am sorry you can't be there with your boyfriend but remember, you were there for your dog when it COUNTED. When she was alive..and when she was feeling badly you took her to the vet.

There is nothing I can say to make you "feel better" except to give in to the grief...lie down...get it out of your system (crying really sets off symptoms for most and standing up is darn near impossible when sobbing)

Just be extra kind to yourself in the next few days...it will be hard but you will get through this...lost some cats of my own over 20 years.

It's like losing ANY loved one, human or not in my humble opinion, as animals fill the gap of companionship for those living alone or without significant others. They greatly add to the QUALITY of one's life.

and YOU helped your dog to maintain quality in her life...but it the end..it's always a heartbreak.

Sending you cyber hugs and healing thoughts on your broken heart.

[juliegee]

Oh Carinara, I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you. Of course the loss of your companion affects your autonomic symptoms. I hate that it prevented you from being more involved. Regardless, seems like it was Tami's time & any other treatments would have just prolonged the inevitable. She died in your arms...the best place ever.

When you are ready- have Kleenex ready- check out this link from our BellaMia: http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html

My dear Oso and your Tami are running and playing by the Rainbow Bridge just waiting for us to get there

Big Hugs-

Julie

[EarthMother]

Oh sweetness, I am so sorry for your loss.

I believe there are no accidents in this life ... especially where beloved pets (our teachers) are concerned. Know that everything happened, just as Tami wanted. It could have been no other way.

I'll add my own special story on the death of my own dharma dog ...

http://www.coolkarma.com/dharma/?p=5

Good thoughts your way

~EM

[firewatcher]

I am so sorry.

[summer]

Dear Carinara,

What a terribly sad day for you and your family. I'm sure you will miss Tami very much. Take good care of yourself and know that we are thinking of you.

Sincerely,

Summer

[mjan]

Oh my dear one..HUGS~! Gentle loving healing vibes sent to you to heal and grieve.

Its ok to HATE this disease and all that it takes and keep on taking from us..the "couldve beens..shouldve beens"

But try to just stay with today..the best you can. You WERE with your darling Tami..you held her..took care enough

to allow her to die in your arms.I am sorry you could not go further in helping out..but at least you were not denied it all.

You must grieve some..not only for your beloved dog..but for YOU..!! Try real hard to just stay with what you still CAN

do..love your family..and take care of yourself. Believe me.. some cannot do any of that. IF you worry about the future

and what you cannot do..you'll use up much needed energy to get through..well..TODAY!!

At least you know to come on here and accept our support!!

Please let us know you are doing ok?

Warmly, Jan

[masumeh]

Sorry for your loss. A pet can be a very close friend, offering unconditional love and freely given companionship, trust, time. I think pet deaths have grieving processes, similar to the process of losing a person but usually less intense. Since your emotions are highly affected by this event, and your body in turn, I suggest you try to break your grief steps down into small pieces to avoid being overwhelmed. Try to break your feelings down so you can manage or resolve each part slowly, one by one, day by day. Maybe that way, you can avoid being emotionally overwhelmed and physically devestated (pots flare-up). Doing little things to process the loss can help a lot. If you cannot go to the burial, how about writing a letter to be put in the grave with Tami? If you cannot go to the hospital, how about sending a prayer to be by Tami's side while you cannot? I think it's maybe that "chance to say goodbye" thing?? How about keeping a special object of Tamis (or pic), and saying goodbye to it in your own way? Also, remember to breath with your stomach (not chest), monitor your skeletal muscles for tenseness and try to relax them when they are contracting from stress, and remind yourself that nobody can control things like this; moments that are painful in our lives just need to happen and pass by us. The more we try to control it, the more frustrated we feel and the more we are actually just hanging onto negative energy...that's how I think of it anyway.

Good luck with your grieving process, and I hope that your flare-up stops in its tracks and you have a quick recovery.

[all4family]

I am so sorry for the loss of you and your family's dear friend. I am glad you had someone there who could help you. You gave her a good life, and filled it with love, and that is the best thing that you could have done for her. I have a 17 year old chihuahua, and know I am going to have to face this soon too. May you and your family have peace, and be able to share the wonderful memories of your special Tami.

Hugs

Suzy

[HoudiniCat]

So sorry to hear about the loss of your loving companion. I had a similar situation last summer with my cat and I don?t believe there is anything you can do in situations like these when you?re body is just not listening to you. I was so sad (and mad) that I got cheated out of handling the situation the way I wanted to/the way I would have before POTS. But the main thing is to not beat yourself up and take care of yourself now. I?m sure you and your family have many wonderful memories of your furry friend and I hope they bring you some peace and POTS-free days.

[ramakentesh]

i know what its like to lose a dog - its heart breaking! and to have POTs playing up for you at the same time is beyond. I feel for ya! Look after yourself and im sorry for your loss.

[carinara]

Thank you all so much for your help and supporting words.

Loosing Tami relly got to me. I do miss her so much...,

When i wrote this post last sunday it was already late (european time), i couldnt sleep and i had a hard day in front of me workwise. I kept waking up and my POTS acted up big time. When i finally had to get up at 5.45 in the morning to get ready for work, the first thing i did (after taking my medication) was checking Dinet to see if i got some replies to my post (because of the different time zones we are in, you all are awake, whilest i sleep).

All your replies really helped and touched me. Thank you Julie for the lovely video, i wasnt ready to watch it until just a few minutes ago, just like you said, i had some kleenex ready.... Thank you Nan for sharing your video of your sweet bella with me. Thank you all for letting me feel not alone.

Carinara