StaceyYount Posted August 16, 2005 Report Share Posted August 16, 2005 Hey all,I have been lurking and reading and am amazed at this community. You are so supportive to newbie's and oldies (hmmm maybe I need to think of a new name for us! ) alike. I have been in a deep hole and not really able to be on much but I always check and chime in when I can. Just need to write to some people who I know understand. Friday is my 10 year Wedding anniversary. 10 years ago I was dancing up a storm at my wedding to the most wonderful man. It was one of the best days ever ( though hot! Who knew it would be 98 degrees in PA and I had a long sleeve dress and the church had no ac!!!) Anyway I was so happy so looking forward to my life getting my degree, teaching and dancing ballet it all seemed in front of me and 2 months later it all fell away ( literally I fainted on front door step) I guess the hardest thing is that life has gone on for everyone and I feel so sad. My husband Jim is still wonderful and has been great through this but I feel as if I have cheated him. I know he loves me and I know I love him but our life was to be so much more. I have hope that it still will be but 10 years and our marriage was happy for 2 months. I guess this is just a prelude to my November 10 year anniversary were I am sure I will post a doozy of a vent! :-) I guess I am just wishing for the might have beens and hating that this happened. I wanted to be married to him more than anything. We dated for 5 years before we got married and I think back to all the fun and all the trips and even just simply going out and spending a day was just so great and now we have mini dates and drives and small things but always with recovery to follow. I don?t know I have been in such a hole and its been hard with my dad still being so sick and I guess it just a passing of the time. I really try and not focus on the time that has gone because it is to much to take but Friday I really can?t get away from it and I realllllly would like to escape!!! We have loved each other so much and still do and I know I am blessed to have that but I really wish for more. Do you know what I mean? I am thankful that I have him and know we get through this but I am sad.Just needed to put that out there, no one really can understand except those who have experienced this.I thank you for just being out there and hearing my cry.StaceyThere is so much more I want to say but to be honest I am to tired and feel to awful to type any more. ARGH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.