Just when you think it can't get worse

[morgan617]

First off, thanks for all your replies. They mean a lot to me, but I'm slipping so far down this hole It's too dark to see.

I started a new pill Friday that my doctor gave me. It's called Boniva and he started it because I have osteoporosis. He hates giving me any drugs, but this is only one a pill a month to deal with, less likely than Fosamax or Actonel to erode my already eroded gut. So I take on an empty stomach and drink my glass of water like a dutiful girl. A bit of an upset stomach, but no other problems. Well a little gassier than normal. Sorry. But by lunch time feel fine.

Of course as I stated earlier, it's a friday. I'm minding my own business watching tv and start to notice I am erupting in painful lesions all over my chest and spreading down ward and upward. On my chin, chest, neck, breasts. Not itchy like hives but everywhere. Well that's just great, I think. I call my hubs upstairs and he says, yep you've got bumps all over the place. Well I have never had this kind of reaction to anything. Keep in mind, this med stays in your system a MONTH.

So I call my doctor and of course get the on call jerk that's covering for him. I obviously woke him up even though it's only 10 pm. Half hour and a million more bumps later he calls. I explain who I am and tell him They don't look like hives, but are spreading everywhere. Should I take a benadryl? He says groggily, I don't know and I don't care. I ask if he thinks it will help as they don't appear to be hives and he says, who knows. In COMPLETE frustration I asked him what he recommends, and he says He has no recommendation to make....

At this point I am starting to get very ansty and agitated and itch or burn everywhere. I can't sit still and chubs is watching me, asking are you all right? Of course I'm just wonderful, I scream in reply.

So of course we go to the ER. MY favorite place. I'm sure most of you can relate. I go in looking like the bug bite from heelo, and they have me take a seat. When the triage nurse get 's to me my bp is 180/105. My pulse is 120. This is a reaction to the reaction, as I've stated earlier, my bp has dropped considerably in the last few months, so now I have a pounding headache too and have to pee every 2 minutes. My flanks are starting to hurt and I am becoming pretty miserable. They usher me into a room. In the next 1 1/2 hours we see one person, a nurse, but he has to leave in the middle of our conversation. We are across from the station and I notice 5, yes FIVE people people just out there gabbing. I can't sit still, bumps are everywhere, and my whole personality has changed and not for the better. So I put my clothes on and go out there and tell them I can feel like **it at home and it's free, and I'd better NOT see a bill.

So we get home and our only benadryl is outdated by 3 years. So off we go to the all night pharmacy, where there's a drunk with his hair filled with puke ahead of us. We get home and I take a pill. I have never taken benadryl before. A half hour later chubs is snoring like a lumber jack and I'm going nuts. SO I not only take another one, I take my valium too. And sleep on the couch till about 4 am. When I get up to got to bed, I FLOAT down the hall. Gross...

So I wake up this morning with, yes, even more of these little buggers growing like fleas on a dog. Cootie woman. So off we go to an urgent care, where the doctor, whom I happen to know says, wow, you are having a terrible reaction, (DO ya think) You need to go to a hospital! WAAAAA I say. I don't want to, but he is insistent, so he calls ahead.

We go to different ER this morning. They stick me in a fast track department filled with 10,000 screaming children. My body is already in triple gear, so I have chubs shut the door. Oh, an hour or so later in strolls a doctor. I explain what is going on and that I have an abnormal ans system, there fore I'm not sure what a steroid shot will do, so if she plans on giving me one, I would need to be observed for a bit. She says, oh I am missing a paper I will be right back, and goes to discuss this with another doctor, as they would have to move me me because they don't "observe" people where I am.

She returns 15 minutes later, and explains they are going to me IV benadryl and pepcid and see if that helps the rash. I ask her if she realizes this med stays in the body a month and does she plan on me being zoned on benadryl that long? No response.

An extremely unfriendly nurse comes in to start the IV and I tell her I have no sites on my left arm where she is. She huffs and walks over to my other side. I tell her to feel free to look, but no one has gotten one in on that side for my whole life. She jams one into my anticubital. All of a sudden I start to feel REALLY weird. I say, what did you just give me and she says, the benadryl and now the pepcid.

MY eyes start going back and forth sideways uncontollably and I think I'm going to have a meneires attack so I sit up. I say I feel funny, and immediately fall straight back and start shaking uncontrolllably. Chubs says, deb what's wrong, and I CAN'T speak... I mean I literally can not talk. He tells the nurse there's something very wrong. She pulls me towards her and says my name over and over, and tells me to talk to her. But I swear, I CAN NOT talk. So I think I've had a stroke. I was trying so hard to talk to her, tears came out of my eyes. My whole left arm went numb. Then a doctor comes in with her and bam, I have a seizure! The doctor ordered ativan and she ran out to get it, and when it finally stops, he tells me to look at him, but I can't because my eyes are stuck to the left side of my sockets and he's on the right side of the bed. He says take slower breaths, like I'm paying attention to how I'm breathing. So I try and he says good. I say talk, numb arm. He says uhm hum. Then she gives me ativan. After about 45 minutes, My speech slowly gets better and my eyes slowly unstick. The I had to pee about every 5 minutes and it was a gallon each time.

They took my bp once and never monitored me. The female doctor came in and I said I was going to the bathroom, and she said, well get up and go if you have to. How long have you had these anxiety behaviors?????? I just looked at her, and my chub said, NEVER. She said oh and just walked out. The nurse came in and said you need to leave now. So as Dave was helping me dress, I said, you guys REALLY think that was a panic attack? And she yes, how often do you have them, and I said well I guess that's the first one, because I never have.

So I came home and Dave called Dan back, (minor er doc) and he called in oral prednisone. He said they pushed the benadryl too fast and he was really pissed at them. So now I'm on oral pednisone till Monday at least with a months worth of drug in me, not knowing how long long this reaction will last.

The moral of this story, never think it can't get worse. I walk in with a drug reaction diagnoses and walk out with a panic attack diagnoses.........morgan

[Gena]

Oh Morgan,

My heart goes out to you. I was terrified for you just reading your story. I don't know how you found the energy to type it after all that you went through.

Did they even bother to look up in the med. literature for this new drug you took to see if this was a rare or common side effect and what to do about it?

ER staff can be the rudest idiots some times with total disregard for the patient.

It sounds like you had a stroke when they pushed the Benadryl, but I hope it was just a really weird reaction (I've never hear of any panic attack like that!). My grandmother was that way when she had her stroke, couldn't talk, eyes rolled completely to one side.

How are you feeling now? Have the bumps gone down at all? Did your BP and HR get better? Oh sweetie no one should have to endure all that. I'm keeping you in my prayers for a speedy recovery. Have you tried a salve or calamine lotion or any kind of topical ointment? Rest up and drink plenty of fluids.

Hugs and Hive-Free thoughts your way,

gena

[MomtoGiuliana]

Infuriating. Is this condition ever going to be understood by the medical community. I can't believe what so many of us go through.

Hope you start getting relief from this reaction soon, morgan. I am sorry you went through this.

Katherine

[Ernie]

Hi Morgan,

This is a horror story. I've never heard of panic attack like that. Doctors just put the psychological disorder sticker when they don't know what we have or when they want to protect themselves from medical error.

I hope that it won't last for a month. I'll be praying for you.

Ernie

[EarthMother]

Oh you poor dear.

Another ANS Embassedor to the ER! Thank you for being on the front line -- Its never easy and often it feels like you made no progress on the education front. But I do believe that you planted a seed. And in time it will grow and all the people you touched tonight will benefit. Some might not even realize ... like the nurse who next time thinks twice about how quickly she administers the dose.

You were much more brave than I could have imagined myself. I know your nightmare will not be in vain.

EM

[Guest tearose]

Oh no! I am flabberghasted! Anxiety? What the? Bumps all over your body and the run-around-and-around...in the end WHO WOULDN'T SHOW SOME SIGNS of stress? BUT to have the nerve to say you were suffering from anxiety? OH MY!

This is another story for the record books! Let's see now...That makes about 3 million and one for the terrible story records and hmmm six for the good story records!

Please do not let these wanna be professionals get you any deeper!

I have the starship swooping over the pit later this morning and they are going to beem you outa there and take you up a few thousand feet...are you ready?

Remember this from Mighty about a month ago?

http://cu.convio.net/site/PageServer?pagen...x_song_download

try to find a way to take all your frustration energy...whatever is left...and get outta that place and do something, one little thing to bring you joy.

Sending you hugs and the needed energy to do one teeny tiny thing for you!

best wishes, tearose

[corina]

Morgan,

I just don't know what to say. I'm so very sorry for you. Have they gone insane to treat you like that! Take a few days to think this over, talk to your doctor and then we come dig you out of the hole! You can count on that!!!!!

Corina

[LindaJoy]

Morgan, I read your entry to my husband--I hope that's okay--because we just had our own nightmare ER visit, though it was not nearly as horrible as yours. I am sooooooooo sorry that you had to experience that! I'm more than sorry, I'm totally irate at those lame people who call themselves medical professionals!!!! I have severe allergies, and I will break out in hives when I've taken certain medications or eaten certain foods. Never has it been said that I have anxiety when I've shown hives!!! What morons! I really hope, when you get your strength back, that you call the ER administrator to complain and maybe even offer the websites for your condition so they can educate themselves a little about POTS. Can I help you in this? I'd be happy to run some information and mail it to the hospital for you, if you just let me know where I need to send it. I'm just livid by how you were treated. Bless your heart, you hung in there. My heart goes out to you, honey. If I can help you, please let me know. I so understand what you went through, though, like I said, my treatment wasn't nearly as bad as yours.

But, I think, through sticking to our guns and offering education, we can make an impact in the medical community, eventually--or, am I just dreaming? I hope not. I hope all of these negative experiences haven't been for naught.

Get well, Morgan, and please keep us posted on your bump progress!!

LindaJoy

[mom4cem]

Oh Morgan, you poor thing. I am sooo sorry. That sounds horrible. I can only relate in the way when I was in the hospital during labor with my 2nd child, my daughter, they gave my IV Vancomycin(antiboitic) because I have MVP, a slight murmur. Well my hubby swears that they gave me an extra bag plus they opened the drip wide and it was running in quick and all of a sudden I was on fire from my scalp to my toes. I was burning, itching thought I would go nuts. Told hubby to get someone in there quick. No one knew what to do, though I kept saying that I am sure it's the IV, Anesthesiologist comes in and she looks and says WoW, and has them drip me Benadryl, which for me helped, but she was pissed at the nurses because they opened the line up to much, it came to fast and was given more than I needed. I itched though for a good day and 1/2 before it calmed down. Now another thing I am allergic too.

Thank goodness the rest of labor and delivery was uneventfull!!

Hang in there!!

[Roselover]

Oh Morgan, my eyes filled with tears as I read your story. I am so sorry. I can't change anything for you, but I can cry with you, and I am. You are loved very much here - I'm new, but that is obvious to me. Praying for you in the coming days.

Roselover

[calypso]

I think it should be required that all ER doctors and nurses go through a psychiatry rotation every couple of years after they start working in the ER so they can see what it takes to actually have a psychiatric problem versus a physical one.

If not, maybe they should be checked into the psych ward themselves. It seems as though practically ANYTHING can be called a panic attack these days. I am so tired of the medical community being afraid to say "I don't know" and instead automatically labeling someone as having a mental disorder instead. Rashes are not part of panic attacks. Morgan, you did not have a panic attack. And we all know I don't need a medical degree to tell you that. I have had probably 50 or more panic attacks in my life of varying degrees, and this is not at all what they are like.

Hang in there. I sure hope the prednisone helps. Be careful that you don't stop taking it suddenly, which I am sure you probably already know.

Amy

[Guest Julia59]

Just when I think they can't get any dumber----they do.....!

Morgan, what a trooper you are, to go through all that and not try to kill them....LOL.................

How in world could they not tell you were having a serious reaction to a drug-----you could have gone into shock-----What in the world.............?

Maybe they could use a little help from my 7 year old nephew David-----he would know that bumps all over your body aren't normal, and certainly shaking all over could mean something is wrong too, especially right after a drug starts getting pumped into you via IV. What other clues do they need?

I'm going into the medical profession---it's got to be an easy job, as one can just kind of hang around and gab while ignoring the patient----and get away with it.

Kidding of course-- if I were in the medical profession, I would treat someone with bumps all over their body as someone with an "adverse reaction at best", then I would hurry up and do something about it!

I'm sorry you had to go through this Morgan, i'll send my little nephew David over there to whip some sense into them.

Julie :0)

[briarrose]

Morgan

What a nightmere. I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Some people are just so ignorant.

I hope you contact the chief of the emergency room and the manager. The chief over sees the doctors and the manager over see the rest of the department.

Your story is horribly frightening. What a nightmere to experience all of that and not getting any real help. Not knowing whether you were having a seizure, stroke or T.I.A. and then being told you had an anxiety attack -P

Hang in there, we understand the H... you just went through.

You might want to call the drug company and ask them what studies have been done on that medication and tell them what you experienced. It could be very valuable information.

[Guest Mary from OH]

Morgan,

Bless your heart!!! Drs. can be SUCH idiots!!! They totally mismanaged your care!! BOTH TIMES!!! I am SO sorry!! I thank God that nothing even worse happened to you!!

I can tell you with 99% certainty as a former psych that you did NOT experience a panic attck. They are morons!! I would definitely file a formal complaint against the ER staff - drs, nurses and hospital regarding your entire experience. I would also NOT pay for it. I would talk to your insurance company about the situation and see what they can do to assist you.

I thank God you lived through this horrible ordeal. I hope you are feeling better today. Is the rash gone? Can you seek appropriate medical attention anywhere? I am worried about you.

Please take care of yourself. Sometimes, I wonder how any of us survive.

Lots of love, hugs and prayers sent your way!!

[DancingLight]

GOOD GRIEF, morgan!!!

my best friend says she is going to put me in a sealed room, wave her magic wand, and make sure nothing more can happen to me...i think we will put you in one of those too...what do you think???

your story is horrifying...it is awful to think of more junk coming your way...and awful to think that you were treated that way.

well, if you do follow through on taking a break from the site...please check in every once in a while and let us know you are okay...cause otherwise i'll be worrying myself sick about you...K??? that's not a request, that's an order! he-he. sorry, i know you can take this kind of humor, so i'm dishin' it out...

how are the bumps today????? i can't imagine 'waiting them out' a month!

many hugs to my favorite weenie,

emily

[morgan617]

Thank you all. I am ok, or fair, am on prednisone and you know what that does to our bodies. I am very tremulous, so please excuse the poor typing. I still have the rash, but it is slowly improving.

I have an appt. with my pcp on tuesday. I just happened to have it, so it worked out well. I am sure he will be livid, but not sure he will do anything. I do plan on filing a formal complaint when I am feeling better. This kind of treatment, considering my BP and health status was totally unacceptable. I am very very depressed by this whole thing. I can't seem to stop crying, it's just another permanent "crazy" record against me. I can't even imagine having the imagination to come up with the weird butt things that happened. Of course I was anxious, I lost my ability to talk and they were ignoring me. I don't believe the ativan helped, I just think the TIA or whatever happened resolved slowly on it's own, which is what they do.

I'm glad you all agree this is not panic attack symptoms. I have been anxious in the past, but never had an actual panic attack. I have seen people have them, however and they didn't come close to resembling what happened to me. If he wanted to stick a psych name to it, a conversion reaction would have been more appropriate. It boggles my mind that he has the gall to diagnose a psych disorder, when he is unable to even differentiate between the different kinds. His self esteem is about as big as his weenie, I presume. Sorry if that offends, but prednisone also changes my personality somewhat.

Anyway, I really am very very down, and needed your support, and you have all come through like the troopers you are. Thank you so much. You know I love you all, but I am sooo tired. I will try and let you know what my doctor says. Otherwise, I just need some quiet time. If it was a TIA and a bigger thing follows, I will be sure to have chub the hub let you know. Thanks again....morgan

[dawn]

Morgan,

I am so sorry. What a frightening experience. I have had full blown panic attacks and let me assure you that you can speak and yell and you certainly don't seize!!!!!!!!

You poor thing, how much more can you take. I wish I knew of something to say that would comfort you. Close your eyes and imagine me giving you a big strong hug.

Dawn

[Guest Mary from OH]

{{{{{{{{Morgan}}}}}}}}}-

A lot of the emotions you are feeling now are from the steriods. But, you probably already know that. If you aren't able to write a letter soon, call or make an appt to talk to someone high up face to face. It's important it gets reported soon after it happened.

I hate what happened to you. I'm glad you're seeing your PCP soon. If you have ANY serious problems PAGE him/her. Take care and TRY not to be too overwhelmed. I know it's hard. Lean on everyone here. YOU are not nuts!! We promise!!

[EarthMother]

Things we wish we could have said:

Option 1:

"Doctor": What you had was a panic attack.

Patient: Yeah, I know. The nurse just told me you never graduated from Medical School.

Option 2:

"Doctor": How long have you had panic disorder.

Patient: What time is it now? Let's see I've been in here 3 hours, but the first 15 minutes were OK, so I'd have to say 2 hours and 45 minutes. Thanks for asking.

Option 3:

"Doctor": We believe you had a panic attack.

Patient: My son believes in Santa Claus ... doesn't make him real either.

Option 4:

"Doctor": You have a problem with anxiety.

Patient: You are partly correct "Doctor" (and use your fingers to make quote signs when you say the word doctor -- they simply love that.) I have a very specific phobia and as of yet I've been unable to find a cure.

"Doctor": What is the name of your phobia?

Patient: Mal-practice-obia. The only person who I am hopeful will find the cure is my Attorny. And lucky you, you'll get a chance to hear from her next week.

Love and laughs your way,

EM

[blackbirdsings]

My gosh!! That is beyound horrifying and I was scared for you reading your horrible experience. I've certainly had my share of doozies but that went beyound and your reaction was SO serious. I hope you are doing better, but am sure you are feeling "funky". Please know I will be thinking of you and your family. This was past the last thing you ever needed. I am just so very sorry you are going through this right now, much less at all. Please let us all know if we can do anything to help. Rest as much as you can, and I hope you aren't too uncomfortable and are out of the "danger" part of this reaction. Do you have an Epi-Pen nearby just in case?

[briarrose]

EM

I love your sense of humor, you're a wonderful person with a great personality. Don't ever change please! Thx for the great laugh this morning.

Morgan I'm glad the prednisone is helping a little bit. Let us know if there is anything we can help with.

[DawnA]

What a nightmare you had at the ER. I have had them too. As I read your post, tears welled up in my eyes. You must of been so afraid.I know how badly things like this can bring a person down. We are all here to hold you up. I hope you have a great apointment with your PCP. It would be wonderful if he/she did something about it...but it probably will not happen..BIG HUGS DawnA

[morgan617]

Earth mother, if I could haved talked I would have used those replies, they were great. But as he turned out to be a chicken liver (not the word I really want to use) and disappeared forever, I couldn't.

I did however report both hospitals to my insurance companies quality assurance dept. today. Interestingly enough the girl taking the report says she has been diagnosed with panic disorder and she's never heard of a panic attack like that.

I also talked to my pcp's nurse, (not the one I wanted to talk to) and told her what happened. But it was so late by the time she called I had to take another pill. I wanted to just get an injection instead as I am ready to hurl blood from this on my poor gut. I will talk to him at my appt. tomorrow.

I started to cry and sort of hung up on her. Prednisone, gosh it just messes with everything. I called the head of the ER and told her exactly what happened. The doctor was there today and she planned on speaking to him immediately. I told her if in fact it was a psych reaction it would have been a conversion reaction, not a panic attack, and if he was too stupid to know the difference between those two diagnoses' he had no business using them at all. I asked her how she could wonder why the patient ratio was always so low when the patients were treated like complete s**t. Did she really expect them to come running back???? She said as a health care professional I should know that doctors get testy if you presume to know more than they do. I asked her how he could feel that way when I was incapable of speech? I don't know sign language either, so how could I have offended him. She is going to contact the doctor, my doctor, who happens to be the head of intensive care there, and the medical director and see what they can come up with. I told her not to bother billing my insurance, because I was having them investigated and they weren't going to get a penny for such poor care.

Now I have to deal with going to see my doctor tomorrow. I have no idea what to expect and am very scared. Who knows what they will say to him? I am terrified he is going to be mad at me, even though he knows how much trouble I am having. I will be a wreck because of this darn steroid. But even putting off taking today, because I felt so sick, I started rashing up again. This whole thing just blows. Can you use that word? Anyway, I took care of as much as I could, and I guess it's all I can do. Please keep me in your thoughts tomorrow. If I lose this doctor, there is NO ONE in town who will even take me on as a patient. Dan has even said that. (my pcp) morgan

[wareagle]

morgan..

i'm sooo glad that you are taking action and holding those idiots accountable..i was so angry when i read you're post..i wish i could write more but i feel like pooh right now.

it's time that we as patients stand up to docs. and make them realize there are indeed consiquences for their actions...(do you like my spelling?...)

good luck with everything morgan..hang in there

[Aprilmarie52]

morgan, I am so sorry that you have been through so much. Before I was first diagnosed my mom took me to the er because I was cold to the touch but felt like I was burning up. I was light headed, and felt like I had to pee constantly. The dr there took one look at me and said I had a strep infection in my kindeys with out doing any tests. So of course he put me on antibiotics and sent me home. the next day I was back again. This time this dumb*** dr told me that I had a urinary tract infection and put me on another antibiotic. The second time my hr was well over 140 sitting down and my bp was extreemly low. The nurse actually made a copy of my file to take with us beause she thought the dr was wrong, too! My mom took me to another hospital where I was diagnosed I know that we did not pay for either of those first two hospital bills. My mom called the head of the emergency department he took off all of the charges. In addition, the second dr had to face the diciplinary committee. They were so afraid that we were going to sue them! I hope that everything works out for you. Your dr. will understand if he knows your history. Why does it always seem that if a woman has a problem with shortness of breath and high heart rate that the dr. ASSUMES that it is a panic attack? I will be praying for you!