purplefocus Posted March 5, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2005 Mary, Thank you so much for your post. My niece.......her name is Mindi and she just turned 7 last week. She has been dealing with the leukemia for over a year now. There is nothing else they can do for her, they say if they do anymore chemo that her liver and kidneys are so damaged that it will be terminal so they are just stopping everything and making her as comfortable as possible. Last week she got to spend a whole week at Disney World with her family, she has an older sister and a younger brother. She is a precious child and I don't understand but I don't focus on that I just focus on spending as much time as I can with her. Thanks again everyone for your support. purplefocus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danelle Posted March 5, 2005 Report Share Posted March 5, 2005 Purplefocus,Many thought and prayers are being sent your way for yourself, your family, and especially Mindi. Please let us know if there is anything we can do. THis is a time when you feel helpless.....(meaning all of us). Just give her lots of love and happiness and let her know there are many people praying for her and that God is ALWAYS there for her. Take Mary's wonderful advice and leave your burden at the door, just for a little while.God bless you,Many hugs sent your way,DanelleMary, what beautiful advice. I am so touched by what you wrote. It was good to talk to you the other night even though both of us were about "out of it". I will follow your advice as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geneva Posted March 6, 2005 Report Share Posted March 6, 2005 Mary, what wonderful thoughts you have shared. All of us can certainly benefit. I hope you and Marissa are also doing well.Purplefocus, it sounds like you are doing well managing all the emotions with sad events in the family. I hope your sons have gotten through this period stronger. I wish that Mindi will have great peace in her journey. all the best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gena Posted March 6, 2005 Report Share Posted March 6, 2005 Purplefocus,Just wanted to let you know that you, Mindi and all of your family are in my prayers. Take care.Gena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violahen Posted March 6, 2005 Report Share Posted March 6, 2005 My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am so sorry for your pain and loss.Kristen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplefocus Posted March 31, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2005 Guys, I need help again..........after my exmother n law died, two weeks later my Godmother died unexpectenly and now Mindi (my 7 year old niece) passed away yesterday. I have not been able to function at all since I talked with her mother yesterday. I have no idea how to adapt to this. I am so sad but so very angry. This little girl stayed with me the first years of her life while her mother worked and went to school and then after that she was more with me than with her mom. I had so much pain when my own mother died 3 years ago but this is so different. My symptoms are greater now than they have been in so long and all I want to do is sit and stare. I need to be able to help my 2 sons who loved her dearly but I can't stand talking with them either. I need advice. Right now I want to find a deep hole and dive into it. Enough is enough. Thanks for letting me vent. Purplefocus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calypso Posted March 31, 2005 Report Share Posted March 31, 2005 Purple focus,I am so, so sorry. Losing a child is the absolute worst event we can endure, far worse than our own health problems and even harder than losing a parent. My prayers are with you.I also am very sorry about your godmother. Godmothers are often very special people to us and it hurts to lose our spiritual connection to them.Hang in there. I know sometimes it feels like life is repeatedly feeding us only hardships, but these times are often followed with periods of clarity, where we learn and grow from these experiences. I hope that these losses will make you an even stronger person down the road and appreciate all of the relationships in your life.Amy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomtoGiuliana Posted March 31, 2005 Report Share Posted March 31, 2005 I can't imagine your pain and all the other feelings you have right now. Let yourself grieve and have those feelings. All I can say is that I am so sorry that you are faced with such devastating sadness. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.Katherine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mary from OH Posted March 31, 2005 Report Share Posted March 31, 2005 Purplefocus-I am so sorry to hear of all the losses in your life lately. Mindi was a big part of your life, I know. She lived a good life. She was loved by everyone. Her body here on earth could no longer support her. I know that gives you no comfort. But Know that she no longer has to deal with her leukemia or any of the painful treatments. You will always treasure many happy memories with her. I, too, am equally as sorry to hear of the death of your godmother. Oh, you have had much too much!!! May God give you comfort during this difficult time. I know that my words cannot help. Please know that we are always here to listen!! Do not let yourself be swallowed up by your grief!! You are not alone!!May God's Peace be with you!!HUGS AND PRAYERS!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gena Posted March 31, 2005 Report Share Posted March 31, 2005 Hi Purplefocus,That is so much loss to deal with in such a short period. I am deeply sorry for your losses. It sounds like Mindi was so special and meant the world to you.Just a thought, but it may be helpful, if you have the energy, to talk to a grief counselor about this so you don't fall down in the hole any further. Many hospices and churches offer free one on one bereavement counseling and group support to the public. Most hospices have certified/trained grief counselors and if you don't have the energy to visit their office, then perhaps you can talk to someone over the phone. Perhaps your boys may benefit from talking to someone too about their grief, and that would take the burden off you.I hope you find some peace and comfort in the midst of all of your sadness. Take care of yourself.Sending lots of hugs and healing thoughts your way,Gena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miriam Poorman-Knox Posted March 31, 2005 Report Share Posted March 31, 2005 Purplefocus, My prayers are with you. It is more difficult to deal with this for us because our bodies do their own thing and we cant control that. I would suggest callingyour church if you go to one or call another and ask if they have chaplains that could visit you. We don't try to recruit we try to help people deal with what is on their plate!!!!! I hope you don't try to deal with this alone. Also i your phone booh or at the hospital ask the social worker to help you to connect with someone tht is there for you. I am here in virtual, and if you want to e-mail me thats fine. Remember to keep a smile for each of your loved ones: for the happy times you had together.Peace, love and rest. Miriam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morgan617 Posted March 31, 2005 Report Share Posted March 31, 2005 It's all been said, but know that I am sending good thoughts and prayers your way. This has to be so overwhelming for you, and I wish I could take away the pain. Please know so many people care about you. morgan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merrill Posted March 31, 2005 Report Share Posted March 31, 2005 Oh, purplefocus, that's too much loss in such a short span of time. I'm so sorry... Sometimes it seems we actually ARE given more than we can handle ... and yet we do. We must! And you will. Hug your boys today. They will grieve in their own ways and when they are ready to do so ... and they may not be ready to talk yet. This is good, as it sounds like you're not ready yet either. Breathe deep and take your time. Life is a process and so too is death and coping with the loss of those we love. Please remember in these difficult days to take care of your physical needs--drink as much as you can, and try to eat something you like. Minute by minute, day by day, you will get through this. You've got lots of people sending support and courage your way.Best,Merrill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Julia59 Posted March 31, 2005 Report Share Posted March 31, 2005 Purplefocus,I'm so sorry to hear about your ex-mother-in-law, niece, and your Godmother. That is is lot to handle for anyone---not to mention someone who is contending with a chronic illness. I agree with Gena, some kind of grief counseling would most likely be very helpful. Someone to help you mange your grief---as you have had so much at one time.Also, counseling might help you be more in focus for your boys. My prayers are with you and your family during this time of sadness.Take Care,Julie :0) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tammyokc Posted March 31, 2005 Report Share Posted March 31, 2005 Purplefocus, hmmmm.....we are all so very sorry for your losses. I wish there were magical words of wonderment I could share right now to make all your pain go away. Only time will be able to heal your wounds and right now you have to rely on those around you as well. I know you want to be the strong one for your boys and that is so admirable, but they also need a strong mom in days to come as well so please don't try and be a superhero. You have been going on adrenaline and now it seems to all be crashing down. However you can, take a breath, find a quiet space, go to the bathroom if you have to, just try and calm yourself as best you can. Be angry, it's okay, God is big enough to handle your anger. He can handle your anger at your health, your anger of the losses in your life, the anger, disappointment, devastation, unfairness, everything. Let Him have it!!! There is no sense to any of this and we wonder where God is in moments like this, but I assure you He is there. It's so easy to get lost in the bitterness of this world and the unfairness of it when things seem to all happen at once. As upset as you are, try to trust, try to keep your faith, and try to remember that as horrid as this all is, with each new day things will get better. They will. Try to live for those you've lost and remember their smiles and warmness. I pray their memories will keep you warm.We all love and care for you. Please be still and feel our prayers... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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