Tell Me Something Good!

[juliegee]

Seriously. Can you think of any GOOD that has come out of being sick? I'm researching an article for DINET's newsletter. Wrack your brains and share anything- no matter how big or small.

I can actually come up with a list.... but I want to hear from YOU.

Thanks in advance-

Julie

[mattsmum]

Since finding out my diagnosis I was allowed to get a cleaner in once a fortnight for the heavy stuff. No more trying to do the impossible floors/bathrooms for me! In fact now I refuse to do things that will make me too symptomatic. This includes other household chores like hours of ironing!

[ajw4790]

I have made new friends here on the board!

I have learned a lot about different disorders and the human body, in a way they never taught in school.

I have learned more about myself and why I have always been so "quirky".

If I ever do actually get the chance to practice PT (after finishing school), I have learned more about identifying with and understanding a patient here more than you can ever learn in an academic environment.

[all4family]

Gosh I am so happy you posted this. I have been so down recently, and this gets me to thinking of positive things. I can say that for me the positive things that have come out of it are,

My relationship with my husband grew a lot. He had to learn to be there for me more, and I had to learn to trust him to be there.

My kids learned to be more compasionate people, and also learned more independence.

I learned a lot about compasion. I used to think I was a very understanding and compasionate person. But I lacked the insight into how it feels to be sick. Now when someone is telling me about how they feel I am more understanding.

I also became a much stronger person. Through some terrible events that happened to me and my family when I was sick, and I was unable to gain help, I learned to count on myself. I learned that not everyone can be trusted, and you have to be able to stand on your own weather sick or not. I learned to protect my family, and myself from people that claimed to want to help me.

I learned that it's the little things count in life. Like a child's kisses, or a caring friend willing to spend hours with you through a rough time. Like a loving family that helps you. Or a special group like this who understands what it feels like, and jumps in with their stories and encouragement when you need it.

Gosh there are many more things flying through my head, but that is a good start.

Thank you for helping me think of the positives!

Suzy

[summer]

I have learned not to make assumptions about people's lives, or health based on how they look, or how they appear to be functioning. I have to admit that this was a lesson I was already learning because my son has autism, and I have had so many people give me nasty looks because of difficult behaviors in the grocery store or at church. He is a beautiful "normal" looking child.

My own illness has reinforced this lesson for me. Things are not always as they appear. I never look at people anymore and wish I had what they had, because I know now that I have no idea what their life is really like, or the difficulties they face. I really try to enjoy the good things in my life, and there are many.

Summer

[maggie]

After getting my dx I cried for six months while trying to get my head around this snydrome. Now three years later I have learned patience, compassion for others, and learning what is really important in life. I miss my health and freedom to exercise, but through this I have learned to do improve my passion for quilting. I still hope I will get better, I do see improvement slowly. I have really learned how to give my needs over to God. Before pots I would say these words, but now I have to really give my health over to God.

Maggie

[firewatcher]

I learned to trust MYSELF more.

I learned that I am NOT lazy, or insane...my body simply will not function like a "normal" person's will.

I have finally accepted that I will never be able to "run that mile" that all the kids could do in grade school.

I have had to distill the important things in my life down to a small, rich cordial and skim out all the distractions and energy wasting sludge.

[bjt22]

Actually, yes, I have.

I now have little fear or apprehension regarding the future...be it good or bad. Ofcourse, I'd like the "good", but you know, I've gotten through "bad" plenty of times, and if I have to, I'll do it again. My confidence in handling the "bad" is quite high. I also have worked through all those tricky questions and feelings about my own mortality. I truly do live for the day...and I want to continue to do that as long as I'm enjoying it. And I can enjoy it even when it might seem pretty bleak to others. After all, none of us knows what's going to happen in the future...those who believe they can overly influence it are kidding themselves. So, yeah, I feel superior, too!

I also have to say that in many ways, it's made me a better mother. Don't get me wrong, I still have plenty of "mommy guilt" over all the things I've been unable to do for and with my kids...but, because I can't do much, we've spent SO much time just hanging out and talking. So, we're incredibly close. I also think my kids benefited by going through this with me. They have grown to be incredibly empathetic people who are almost always capable of offering understanding to just about any difficult situation anyone might find themselves in. They're also quite independent in many ways.

[Dawg Tired]

My wonderful husband and I spend more time together.

I had time (!!! LOL!!) to write and publish a book.

Now, when my sisters want to take me along on their travels, I'm free to do so - and they always have me installed in a room by 2pm.

[ramakentesh]

My silver lining is that Im not always sick with POTS and have long periods that a relatively symptom free. It makes me hate the bad times all the more...

[juliegee]

Thank you so much for all of the thoughtful replies. I wanted to add one more. When my son became VERY ill at age 12. We were able to easily sort though true friends and "convenient" friends. I was so hurt about all of the people who didn't even ask about him- he missed almost a year of school. Parents, who I thought were friends (we'd sat though hours of soccer, tae kwon do, etc. together) never even bothered to inquire why he'd left school. BUT, so many did. And, so many kids stuck by his side too- carrying his water, making cards, tying balloons on our mailbox, etc. His illness gave us the unique opportunity to truly perceive our real friends. AND, it definately made me a better person. I became a true friend to many (going through chronic illnesses) that I may have overlooked in the past.

Keep your replies coming. I'm learning so much and being uplifted by you all.

Julie

[pat57]

It makes a person sincerely grateful to be able to do dishes or hold down a job- any job.

[janiedelite]

Since talking makes me feel sicker, I've become a much better listener ! And I've found that I should have started listening more a long time ago!

And like so many of you said, being ill has made my good relationships even better. Also, I so appreciate the beauty of nature when I'm feeling well enough to enjoy it.

Great idea for a thread!

[arizona girl]

Oh mack's mom your question couldn't have come a better time for me My newspaper horoscope said yesterday, "there's a happy oasis in your mind that hasn't been visited in a while and this is just the time to go there."

So I see god's hand at work thru you and the paper, letting me know that I'm going to be okay and I will get thru this latest ordeal and back to my happy place. In my heart I know I will, I'm a strong girl, and I'm always ready to fight for the underdog and help out where I'm needed.

Perhaps that is why god has chosen me to been in this particular mission, I'm some one who does speak up and getting sick, taught me to understand what healthy boundaries are. So I new someone was violating my boundaries right away and I did speak up, not enough initially, but I did tell another medical provider in confidence and because I did it was documented. That documentation wiil help build a stronger case and will protect us from this person in the future. Fighting to get better, does make you stronger and better able to handle the other challenges in life that come at you out of left field.

When I lost my baby, the silver lining to that was that we found out I had PCOS and that it was one of the things making me ill. I was able to get treatment for it. Since, then every now an again I will be speaking with someone I don't know well, and I will recognize the symptoms in them, by how they look or something they say and god will prompt me to ask about there health. When there is something wrong people often are happy to talk about it, because of that I've been able to suggest they see a doctor, at least 3 of them also ended up having pcos. I've learned so much about my medical related issues, that I never would have learned if I hadn't gotten sick. So getting sick has made me a better educated person. I think that is why this forum is so good, we all help each other learn and in turn we can help others. What a wonderful, wonderful thing. I may not be able to do the worlds work or be successful in a worldly way, but we can always do god's work. When you know you've helped someone it is always feels so good.

As I was reading what the rest of you are saying, I'm thinking, Yes it taught me that too!! It's tough to be sick, but look at all the life's lessons and blessing we'd have missed out on, if we hadn't gotten sick.

Thank you mack's mom for putting a smile in my heart and reminding me what's really important

[shoe]

I think a few people have mentioned compassion for others and kinda getting a new feeling for friendships and relationships. I definitely agree there... I might not speak to my friends on a daily -- or sometimes even weekly -- basis, but I know the ones that are still here are really solid, firm, real friends and we don't need to speak constantly. I'm here when they need me, and vice versa.

My husband is -- I laugh sometimes and say he's either gonna apply for sainthood or he's dumb as a stick. (He's not dumb as a stick. Or even a rock!) He's just awesome. I think it's funny because he's like, "I married you because I love you, and I took this vow of 'in sickness and in health.'" Fine, it's true, but it doesn't mean it necessarily always works out that way, or that everyone is such a sweet. loving sport about it.

But I think that's the other positive I've taken from this... I have had people that I have cared about, and that I know have cared about me, that couldn't quite take it. And it hurts and all, but I don't think that it makes them in any way bad people. It's tough, and I'd totally run screaming from the building from myself sometimes if that were an option. I guess it depends a lot on how things kind of fall apart, but if someone has to walk away for their own sake and they aren't nasty, blaming or pointing fingers over it, I am not sure that I can point back or that it makes them bad people. It ain't easy for me to go through -- but it's not easy for other people to go through with me.

I've learned to cut other people some slack, and to cut myself some too in situations. Not to say there aren't days I'd totally trade every ounce of insight for the ability to run and jump and play freely.

[Rachel]

Great topic! I look forward to reading the article in DINET's newsletter.

Here are a few good things that have come out of my illness:

- My husband and I are closer. I have definitely learned to depend on him more.

- I have grown spiritually.

- I have a better perspective on life.

- My son has learned to be compassionate at an early age. He has also learned to be a a good helper.

- I've made a lot of great friends.

- I have learned to focus on what is truly important.

[Broken_Shell]

Hi,

I can tell you that I have seen my mother and her significant other give up large portions of their lives to care for me. It makes me cry to think about everything they have sacrificed and all the love they have shown me. The same goes for several good friends who have stood by me and continue to call and offer to come sit and talk with me or give me rides to appointments when they can.

~ Broken_Shell

[bkweavers]

Thank you to Mack's Mom for putting this question out there! I've been feeling on the down side lately and I'm not even the one who is sick, it's my young daughter!

First of all, I'm so thankful to God for giving my daughter, Liz such a wonderful attitude. She is so positive and can still keep a smile on her face. Many people have told my husband and me how they can't believe her strength and attitude despite this debilitating illness. She keeps on living to the best of her abilities. She is amazing and I thank God for her.

Others have said this but I am more compassionate and not so quick to judge people. You never know what people are going thru.

My husband and I have had our ups and downs since our daughter became ill but I think we are closer than we were before.

Both of our parents have been supportive both financially and emotionally. I am so thankful to God for family!

I've become close to others going thru other illnesses. A woman from our church died of cancer last year and even though we aren't dealing with cancer, her and I had so many things in common. Now, I've also been talking with her husband. There's just something about going thru difficult times that connect you with people in such a special way.

I think in the years to come (and we hope and pray that Liz grows out of her POTS) we will see many more good things to come out of this. I know God has huge plans for Liz and I can't wait to see what they will be!

Brenda

[iheartcats]

Seriously. Can you think of any GOOD that has come out of being sick? I'm researching an article for DINET's newsletter. Wrack your brains and share anything- no matter how big or small.

I can actually come up with a list.... but I want to hear from YOU.

Thanks in advance-

Julie

Julie! I tried to send you a PM but you're all full on me!