Does It Ever End

[morgan617]

Well, let me begin by saying the more my hubs and I try to do things right, the worse it gets.

We moved into a new house, one step to get in and that's it. All one level and we love it. We had to short sale our house last year due to financial woes, am sure some of you can relate. The house we lived inpreviously? Rented? 1550 security deposit? Got 700 back, because there was a scuff on the wall in the bedroom about 3 inches long. I swear to God, that was their reason. Our closing heating bill there was 1025, because they have absolutely no insulation in the house and we had over 100 inches of snow.

So then we needed to file bankruptcy, well, the laws changed and it took us 7 months to actually get it done, so we have had severe financial stress for over a year now. We moved out of the house we sold, before it sold. The 341 meeting for our bankruptcy was today at 11. You are required to go, no matter what or they dismiss your case. We could not file a 7, which would have liquidated our debts, so we have this honkin amount to pay for the next 3 years every month, or go to jail. The amount was based on Dave's wages before they cut his overtime completely, which was like a job. I'm not talking a few bucks.

So, day before yesterday I have chest pain so bad I am sure it's my last day on earth, so bad, I am vomiting, sweaty, short of breath, you name it. I never got out of bed, couldn't hold anything down. However I chose dying over the treatment I would get at an ER. The next day my pee was completely orange, I was so dry and I felt horrible. The pain was a little better, so I called my cardio, explained the situation, thinking they would do a quick EKG and enzymes. They called back in 3 minutes and told me to get my buttocks into the ER. I called my gastro and he wouldn't see me till cleared by cardio, so no choice.

It turns out, as the title says, I had a huge gallbladder attack. (They refused to give fluids to hydrate and kept me nothing by mouth for 8 more hours after 24 hours of not holding anything down, nice, huh?) I have had a bad gallbladder going back 20 years, have attacks on a regular basis, have canary yellow poo from all the bile it dumps, and my doctors have refused to remove it until my liver enzymes go up. Well, guess what, enzymes are up, running a temp, probable pancreatic involvement. So what do they say? Well, you sure have a lot of stones in there, aren't you lucky you've never had problems before. You need surgery. And send me home. This was from Er doc saying what Dan told him.

Well, I drag myself out of bed today, thinking about the 1000 or so co pay I'm going to have from yesterday because I was not admitted, despite elevated temp and enzymes, and go off to the 13 meeting where they tell us we will have a whopping 1400 a month to live on for three years. This includes all copays (we meet our catastrophic every single year, which is 8000 out of pocket, my son is sick too) for medical, all utilities, every bill we have, except the whopping amount they are taking for the creditors.

I call my doctor and talk to the nurse, and I explain that the doctor said Dan wasn't concerned about me having surgery, but I know that isn't.....HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT (sorry) is what I am interrupted with. He just realizes if you need it you need it. I am trying to tell her this is what I was planning on saying but I can't get a word in edgewise over her lectures on my attitude.

I finally got out that I had been told he was out of town next week, and I wasn't sure if he wanted me to schedule it or wait, but since the pain is pretty unrelenting and I've had one slice of toast and one bowl of plain cream of wheat in three days, could I get something for nausea and pain. Understand, in 26 years, I have gotten pain meds from him 3 times. She said she would discuss it with him. What a day. I needed to know if he would keep me over night, because if he won't, I can't afford the surgery. I now know as much as I did yesterday, which is nothing. No one has called in anything for me. And now she has told him I said he didn't care about me, which is going to really make him angry, with me not having the chance to say that's not true. Oh what a world, what a world.

Thank you for allowing me to vent. inagonymorgan

[janiedelite]

Oh Morgan, soft hugs to you... If nothing else, I hope you get some pain and nausea relief soon. Janie

[MightyMouse]

aw geeze. GB pain is just awful. I still get phantom attacks from my remaining sphincter of oddi... sending big empathetic hugs, ones that don't actually touch you... b/c that might hurt.

[tinkerbella]

Morgan,

I just stopped everything and prayed for you, sweetheart, I know that pain all too well, had mine out a few years ago with complications. you have tooo much on your buffet right now. you need to focus in on you right now. everything else can be broken down into manageable pieces after. It's too hard to think when your in so much pain. another thing, mercury is retrograde right now, communication is really off. you must be cool, calm and collective and tell the right person just what it is you need. things will be this way till the end of the month and things will turn around.

you need pain medication and you need to have this taken care of. you know all of this as you are a nurse. morgan, if there is anything more i can do, i'm here for you. you know how to reach me.

you'll be in my thoughts and prayers my friend. (((((hugs))))) and get well soon!

[summer]

Wow, Morgan. That is a truckload of stress.... and pain. I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now. Why on earth did they not admitt you????

[firewatcher]

((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))

Been there, done that. Get it yanked out as fast as you can!

Prayers coming your way!

Jennifer

[juliegee]

Add my very gentle hugs to the rest. I'm so sorry for everything you are going through. I've had THAT pain and it is unbearable. My doc gave me mepergan fortis to have if the pain struck before I could have surgery. It's a combo of some narcotic and phenergan- you're probably familiar with it. It definately took the edge off. Another idea is to google gallbladder-friendly foods. I lived on beets (cooked with a tiny bit of butter, salt & pepper) before I could get my surgery scheduled. There are certain foods that actually nurture the gallbladder. Remember, if all else fails, and your pain is crippling- head back to that ER and scream bloody murder till they yank it.

I'm sending lots of good thoughts and prayers your way-

Julie

[potsgirl]

Morgan~

I am so sorry for all of the pain and agony - both physical and emotion - that you are having to endure right now. I had that same pain for two weeks before one day it spiked way up and I headed straight to the ER (where morphine blissfully took the pain away). They did the tests, which showed nothing, but my ER doc was a wise woman, and she told me that even if the tests didn't show anything (and sometimes they don't, especially with women), she was sure it was my gallbladder. I ended up seeing a nephrologist the next day, and had surgery a couple of days after that...two days after Thanksgiving!

You're going to feel better after the surgery, but it can take some time to really feel better. Be very careful about the food you eat, and remember that we don't recover as quickly as most. Rest, rest, rest. Please let us know how it goes!

Sending healing thoughts your way,

Jana

[dizzygirl]

UGH morgan this all *****! I just had my GB removed the end of january.. and my surgeon did keep me ouvernight and hydrated me and i wasnt aloud out of bed for 24 hours....

Now the anestesiologist played a large part in keeping me overnight given my medial history.. and uncontrolled pots alone... they tweaked things so that insurance had to allow it...

SO if your able I would ask to speak with the anestiesiologist before hand and explain all this to him or her...

I wish you the best of luck morgan.. GB attacks are miserable...

Cyber hugs

linda

[MomtoGiuliana]

I'm so sorry you are faced with this on top of everything else. I hope you can get the relief from pain and help you need soon.

[Guest tearose]

No dear it will not end till it is all over... we do not want that yet!

Hang in there. Get yourself stronger and have the surgery and allow plenty of time to heal.

I am sorry that you again have another challenge. I hope that next you will have a long stretch with no challenges!!!

You are in my prayers and hey, buy a lottery ticket once a year. Maybe you can be a one in a million for something like that too!

tearose

[morgan617]

Thanks to everyone. A while after I whined on here, my doctor's office called and the nurse told me that Dan was mad, at the ER doctor! For maybe making me feel like he thought it was not a big deal. She was much nicer and we talked, so I am guessing she told Dan and he understood me better than she did.

He gave me a bazillion pain pills and lots of zofran for nausea. I've never taken either, so input would be great. More than enough to get me through till he gets back, although I had another attack today. These are just awful. I can handle the upper quadrant pain, it's that's awful chest pain that radiates into my upper back that is just killer.

I made an appointment for a consultation for Tuesday. They said please have your records sent. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Should I have all 4 charts sent? I called and asked the front office gal, whom I adore to just send my last record and labs, which showed totally normal liver function tests. She thought that sounded good. She also took care of the ultrasound I had done which showed over 60 stones. Dan does not want anyone touching me till he's here to watch over things, unless emergent. It would have to be pretty darn emergent for me to do it without him.

I also told them I have to stay overnight or I just can't do it and she said that wasn't going to be any problem.

We still have the durn money stuff, but then we always have, always will, but I am at least hopefully going to get this GB thing taken care of. I suspect I will be one of the lucky ones that ends up with chole syndrome.

Anyway, I want to thank everyone for your support. I am done bawling and feeling sorry for myself. The money will work itself out and I'm good with Dan, which was my biggest deal. You guys are great! feelinbettermorgan

[tinkerbella]

morgan,

get a good rest and know that everything will all work out! now i've got to challenge this heart monitor one last time before going to bed.

sweet dreams! feel better.

[Angelika_23]

Oh Morgan!

I am so sorry for what you are going through. (((HUGS)))

Angela

[Sophia3]

I am glad you got things cleared with Dan's nurse.

Hang in there. Hope the meds help deal with the pain stuff.

[EarthMother]

I am in awe of your courage.

My thoughts are with you that this latest adventure be wrapped up as soon as possible.

~EM

[pearsjon]

morgan,

sending you sympathy and empathy. as i go through this everyday. i recall you admonishing me for even talking about the gallbladder and ejection fraction.

and you were right i was in the normal level but i have tumors and not stones, but i have all the symps you have. just had the yellow orange poo, like water flowing.

but, i am sending you prayers anyway.

you hurt my feelings when being admonished when it didn't seem you had read my whole post. i am worried about cancer. as i am a symptomatic patient w/o stones. just tumors. and that is rare to be symptomatic w/ or w/o stones. much less tumors.

take care of yourself.

do you have the orange urine too? or green look to you?

[MightyMouse]

Firewoman, Orange urine is not a good sign... have you had your liver and pancreas enzymes checked, along with your bilirubin?

Nina

[pearsjon]

no i haven't yet, or at least in 6 months. see doc on wednesday, and i am letting him know. i am sure i will get all the blood work i need and more.

morgan, i do hope you are better today. i really do and can sympathize w/ you. please don't be stubborn like me and just go get it down. i have a feeling i may be talking to the choir. i know if you said it to me, that would be the case. i am really worried about you.

do you have a little greenish/oranegish color skin?

do you have the water fall dumping w/cramps and blackouts?

are your intestines audible all the time?

sx overlap so much it is hard to tell what is what.

[morgan617]

Firewoman, I am so sorry, I have no idea when or what I wrote that hurt your feelings! I NEVER want to hurt anyone's feelings! Please send me the post so I can see what I've done to hurt you. I would look, but have lost 8 pounds in the last week from vomiting and diarrhea.

I did see the surgeon today and he is terrified of me, his words, but says it must come out before it bursts..nice. However, my pcp is on vacation till Monday and he won't schedule till he knows everyone is going to be around to manage my whole care. He was nice enough to admit he had never heard of any of my diagnoses. Usually they all go, "oh yeah, know all about that one" yeah right.

Yes my bowel movements are an interesting canary yellow and like the end of a prep for a colonoscopy. Pure water. This is not a weight loss program I would recommend....

Firewoman, have they biopsied the tumors? I really have no idea what I said about the ejection fraction, but I am sure it was aimed at doctors not caring, not me. I do know tumors in or on the gallbladder are rare, but can see they would certainly impede the flow of bile and cause a great deal of pain. Again I am sorry if I hurt your feelings. I'm sure anyone who's been on here for awhile will assure you I try to be very careful in my responses, so as not to hurt feelings. We get enough of that in the outside world! morgan

[pearsjon]

morgan, no worries. i only rehashed it then, because i was so worried about you. and i knew this was what was going on w/ you as soon as you mentioned certain things. i don't want to get into it, i know you didn't mean it. i have read your posts.

my main concern is you going through this, and i really want to keep up w/ you about it. as i am in your boat. but have been putting it off. to be quite honest it is because i am scared to death of another surgery.

so forgive me for being so bold as to ask please let me know every detail. i am afraid w/o all the info i can get i will never do it.

and no i have not had biopsies. then can only tell some things thru CT scan, but gastro bypassed that and went straight to you need surgery. so that worries me. other than a CT scan (not always 100%), taking it out is the only way to tell benign or malignant. see my delemma.

i will keeeep you in pray, as i know you need it. this is a very bad place to be in, so to speak.

sorry had spasm there.

do you have a stiff neck? like you could have slept wrong, but couldn't have done it for 3 days in a row? the pain has moved into lower abs today, where the insides feel as if they will fall out. you?

take care and i sincerely mean that!!!!!!!!!

[Ernie]

Hi Morgan,

Sorry you have another health issue.

Hope the surgery goes well.

[morgan617]

Firewoman,

Did you have an ultrasound that found the tumors? If they saw them on that, they would probably figure there's no need to do further testing, as they can see you need the surgery. I am guessing that's their thoughts on further testing. Which isn't a bad thing, actually, because it's overkill, if they've already found a reason to operate.

I had a HIDA scan done about 20 years ago and they knew clear back then that my gb was bad. If they had taken it then, I would not be dealing with this now, but my attacks were only bad enough to whine about, not do anything about. I often wonder why they even bothered if they had no intention of doing anything. Ah well, now there's no choice. At that time, however, I had not developed the stones. They were found incidently when I had a CT scan for something else entirely, and they still wouldn't take it out. All I had this time was an ultrasound and it showed them enough to know surgery has to be done.

I know now that I have very similar attacks like lthis in the past. Just not as bad. I actually went to the ER a few years ago with the exact same symptoms and they said esophageal spasms, that's why I thought that's what it was again. I now realize how much I have been suffering with this stuff for a long time now.

My symptoms are epigastric pain (right at the junction of the ribs and stomach) right upper side pain that radiates around to my back and goes into my shoulder blade. Kind of like I've been impaled up under the ribs through to the back. When it's really bad, it feels like I've been impaled from the mid sternum through to the back too. That is the most intolerable to me and when I usually throw up. The pain will sometimes radiate up into the muscles going from my neck to my shoulders, an achey sensation.

It has really been affecting my pots, as I am not eating or getting nearly enough fluids down and when I do, it goes straight through. Yesterday I got up and gack, just threw up, no warning. But the diarrhea is awful. Anything goes in my mouth and my gut immediately goes into overdrive, so I don't think I'm absorbing my meds well at all. My bp is 170/110 and my pulse is too fast for my pacer to kick in. I am usually 100% paced. Dehydration, so you'd think my bp would be low, and only my primary knows that I am backwards in this regard. Everyone else thinks you can't be dry and have hypertension.

I don't have jaundice, but I certainly have interesting pee and poo. I expect canaries to start twitting when I poo and my urine is way off, but not brown like you'd expect with liver involvement. It's the very dark orange color you get when dehydrated. The doctor said yesterday he doesn't think my diarrhea is associated with my gb. What a crock. Yellow poo like this means too much bile. He was so overwhelmed by me though, I didn't want to argue with him.

I can't lie on my left side, I think because it weighs 20 pounds with all those stones in there, and it seems to put a lot of pressure on it or it moves it or something. It just hurts too much.

I am actually just anxious to get this the heck over with. Please don't put this off. If they want to take it out let them. Not knowing is so much more anxiety provoking than just finding out. My anticipation of things has always been worse than the reality. That is not to say I'm not frightened, I am. but I'd rather just get it over with than stew about all the things that can go wrong. I am far worse with meds though, so I admit to being a hypocrite. I have yet to take any of the meds that might make me feel better, because I am more scared of them than surgery!

You should at least get blood work to look at liver enzymes. The doctor told me something interesting yesterday. He said, you are never going to be as healthy as you are now, so we won't put it off any longer. He's right, the longer you go, the less well your body does. I told him I was sorry I hadn't met him 10 years ago when he could have talked to my doctors and he laughed and said, me too!

If it's been six months and you are still able to eat and function pretty much as you have been, then my guess would be, it wouldn't be cancer. Of course I don't know all your history, but I do know with cancer, it's unforgiving and you probably would not have been able to put it off this long, you would go downhill pretty rapidly. Polyps in the gall bladder are pretty common and could certainly appear to look like tumors, but even benign polyps can go rogue on you, so why don't we do this together and see who recovers the fastest????

Anyone want to take bets?????????????????? morgan

[pearsjon]

well, start placing your bets cause dys doc said i have to do this. he said the hida scan showed abnormal contractions of the gallbladder on top of the polyps. that's why he wants it out. no garraunties though. consult is on the 1st of june w/ surgeon and i will go from there. i knew ther was more than they were telling me. had that gut feeling, no pun intended.

and now i am having diastolic dysfunction, too.

it was a bad day yesterday.

i have had cancer before (cervical) so that's why i was concerened w/ that. but i know it's rare. trying to keep head up as i know you are. i will pray and keep you in my thoughts morgan if you will do the same.

thanks for talking w/ me about this.

oh yeah, the contractions on the lesions could be the cause of the pain. i will know more tomorrow, after dys doc talks to gi doc.

and the race is on.

[pearsjon]

just spoke with the nurse and got my impressions from hida scan

1st impression- no signs of acute cholethititis (sp) w/ normal ejection fraction (morgan we discussed this)

2cd impression- cannot rule out billary disease.

so the news just keeps getting better