Crackpot Diagnoses & Cures

[deucykub]

Mary P thought this might be a fun thread.

I'll start with my Dad's favorite joke:

What do you call a doctor who graduated last in his class?

Doctor!

1. When I was 10, I started blacking-out every time I stood up (vision would fade completely to black, I'd get dizzy, my ears would ring, and I'd basically run into a wall and lean over until I could see and hear again).

My Mom took me to a doctor back then, and he told me it was because I was tall and thin. Ha! I am the pioneer diagnosee of Tall Thin disease.

2. My Rheumatologist noticed I was short of breath from "just sitting up." I hadn't noticed and thought I was just fatigued. After a diagnosis of asthma, off I went to a Pulmonologist, who couldn't reproduce the asthma results. He sent me off to a ENT to check for Vocal Chord Dysfunction (where the vocal chords paradoxically close as you inhale). The ENT saw no evidence of VCD but did see that I was using the muscles in my throat excessively to speak, and he ordered breathing therapy.

I told the Pulmonologist this and then said I would be starting therapy. He said, "Psychological?" Wait... what??? Where did THAT come from? LOL

3. This one is my favorite. I went with my Mom to HER doctor's appointment for a slip-and-fall accident at work (worker's compensation doctor). My Mom happened to mention that I had Fibromyalgia. This doctor... get this... he LITERALLY walked me out the back door of his office to a patch of weeds he was growing (?) in the back, bent down, plucked a few weeds out the ground, and handed them to me.

He told me to make tea from these weeds, and I would be cured! Wow, how did this doctor with a shoddy office not make millions from his miracle cure???

Your turn... we've cried about them, now it's time to laugh!

[P SUDIK]

I have so many doctor stories,but I am only going to give you one of my favorites for now.

One cardio told me if I got a boyfriend, I would be fine. Yeah right , Pat

[832]

Deucykub,

My pediatricians growing up told me the same thing-- that I had "tall skinny girl syndrome" and to eat more salty junk food. My POTS doctors now say that these pediatricians, who we thought were nuts, were basically spot on just without the technical name!

[shannon]

Hmm.... I haven't faced the "Tall Thin" diagnosis, but I have been given the "Short, thin" diagnosis --- I guess the docs are flexible in those assessments! And don't forget "eating disorder", "druggie", "anemic", or "anxiety disorder".

[deucykub]

Pat, did you ask him if he was volunteering? Hee hee.

Eagleswings, that's so interesting! My doctor didn't tell me to eat salty foods, though. My body just craved salty things, and I'd eat McDonald's every day after school. When I was old enough to drive, I'd pull through the drive through and order a super-size fries. (I've now mentioned McDonald's in two posts... methinks I might be having a craving! )

[jump]

:)

OMG I'm actually sitting here at this computer and laughing out loud. This thread just tickles me.

Here's mine: For four years I would go see my PCP every three or four months or so and complain about my funky heart and my excessive thirst, and I told her I always felt worse in the mornings. I would say things like, "Well, I can't wait in line without fainting" and "When I stand up my heart rate shoots up to 140" and she would say, without fail, "Oh, don't worry about that, that's normal." I would say, "Really? This doesn't happen to any of my friends or family members." And she would say, "Oh no, this happens to lots of people, it's perfectly normal." Then, finally, after four years of complaining about the same thing, I went in to complain yet again, and she came in and said, "I think I may have figured out your problem." I was so surprised, and asked what it could be. She asked: "Could you be pregnant?" And without thinking I said, "For FOUR YEARS?"

At a different time, I met with a different doctor and told her all my symptoms. She kept making me appointments in the afternoon, and at that time I wasn't very symptomatic in the afternoons (this was in the beginning) so she never saw anything weird with my hr or bp in the office. When she said she didn't see anything unusual, I asked what could be the problem. She looked right at me and said, "Well, I think you're stubborn."

So those are my diagnosises: stubborn and pregnant.

jump

[Maxine]

Can you believe this? I was told I could jump up and down on a trampoline, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with my musculoskeletal system whatsoever. NOW, look at my signature line.......... LOL

Then he said, "I'm trying to help you". This was after I told him, "I bet you think all the other doctors are wrong, and only you are right". LOL

This is from a neurologist who works for a teaching hospital. Can you imagine this man teaching?

Maxine :0)

[sarct]

This post is really making me laugh. I have heard quite a bit. I have been afflicted with the hypochondriact stigma. I did have one doctor tell me that I should do everything we tell people not to do with high blood pressure. Eat lots of salt, and fat. Then there is the old standby of being depressed. The chicken or egg thing. Am I depessed for the symptoms or did the symptoms cause the depression?

[JaneEyre9]

After a series of severe chemical exposures and a diagnosis of multiple chemical sensitivity by a famous specialist, I went to my primary care doctor complaining of dizziness and fatigue. I told her I never had any energy, felt sick all the time, couldn't work, and was pale constantly.

Her prescription: get a tan.

I can only imagine that her cure for headaches would be to wear a hat.

[dizzygirl]

oh i coudlnt resist chiming in on this ...

when i was about 11-12 yrs old.. my mom took me to my pcp.. b/c my heart was racing.. i was getting bad headaches and i was dizzy all the time.. and it was worse.. the dizziness....if i bent over or stood up.....and i was fatigued...

the old school dr. told me that i need to start dancing and eat more vegatables... yeah ok

and when it was still happening 3-4 yrs later.. he told my mom that it was stress and that i wasnt adjusting to high school..Hello.. and that i should still take up dancing and keep eating those veggies!

oh the power of a good vegatable! *giggling*

[samannran]

I have enjoyed reading these! I was six the first time I realized that I had trouble tolerating the heat. I was fourteen the first time that I completely passed out after lying in the sun trying to get a tan. When I was sixteen, I passed out while standing outside talking to my boyfriend who is now my husband. My mom took me to the ER. Well, the doctor treated me like I was a druggie, and I didn't even smoke, much less take drugs. He ran a drug test on me and asked permission to do a pregnancy test. I told him that it would be a miracle from God if I was pregnant. He ran one anyway, acting like I was hiding something. After everything came back negative, the doctor patted me on the back and said that I had an inner ear infection, and I would be fine. The doctor didn't even look in my ears!! When my symptoms started really affecting my life at the age of 25, I was sent to a cardiologist. He told me that I was a full time college student, mother, and wife, and I needed an anxiety medicine. He didn't seem concerned that I hit the floor quite often. Thankfully, I found another doctor willing to run some tests on me. I completely failed a TTT, had an ablation for AVNRT, and I was diagnosed with NCS and OI.

For those of you still struggling with crazy doctors, hang in there!

[MightyMouse]

Here's a list of a few of the all time craziest from my medical saga (I'm leaving out the "you are depressed", "you are anxious", etc. b/c those were a dime a dozen in my 30+ years before I got the TTT):

One doctor insisted I might have AIDS, and pressured me to be tested for HIV because he assumed I was "promiscuous" since I had a female partner. Uh, excuse me? at the time, the late '80, HIV was nearly completely in a gay male population! Then he came in the room for the follow up visit with a huge relieved smile and said, "well, thank goodness you're negative." Wow. I was *SO* surprised. NOT. What a dunce.

When my dysmotility kicked up and my gallbladder began to die off, I had the above dunce insist there was nothing wrong with me...I just had gas. After ending up in the hospital for a few days, the resident at the hospital pulled me aside after my pcp left my room, with a note paper and some doctor's names on it and told me he thought maybe I should get another opinion. I took his advice, fired the dunce the next morning, and eventually got an accurate diagnostic test showing my dying gallbladder needed to come out. I have to say that firing the dunce was one of the most powerful things I ever did for myself as up to that point, I would never question anyone in authority. When he came into my room the following morning, with his entourage of students, I told him to leave. He said he needed to check on me, and I told him "no, you're not my doctor any more." He didn't understand, so finally I said "you're fired, please get out of my room." I was shaking in my bed from the face off, but ultimately, that moment lead me in the right direction.

Another doctor insisted I just needed to stop burning my candle at both ends and let myself get enough rest. Since when is sleeping 10 hours a night considered "burning at both ends", and just doing my basic self care and limping through the workday, coming home and going straight to bed after dinner? At 23 years old? Nuts.

The worst was actually the EP cardiologist who proclaimed I was in perfect health and just to go home and have a good life I was worrying too much, there was nothing wrong with me. He followed that by telling me that's what he'd tell his own daughter. Yes, if I were his daughter I'd be in jail for murder now. The only good part to this story is that my pcp went nuts when I told him about my appointment because I'd passed out in my garden the week before my cardio appointment and he got on the phone to find me the EP cardiologist I've had for the past 8 or 9 years now, who is just awesome.

Sorry if my tone seems angry at all, but I do think back with a bit of anger about the wasted time and energy it took to get a diagnosis in my 30's when I'd been symptomatic all my life. I am happy with my life now despite all my ailments.

[Dawg Tired]

Well... when I was first sick my doctor told me the problem was I was "43". He told me this happens to ALL women when they are "43".

I told him my mom and sisters had all passed "43" without all these problems.... He was not convinced. I even asked him if it ws going to go away when I turned 44 - It didn't.

He then decided I was depressed so he harassed me and yelled until I started crying, then it was "AHA!!! I TOLD you it was just depression! THIS is proof!"

I wasn't tall or skinny.

I want some magic weeds....

[MightyMouse]

Hi Gayla, well, I have not magic weeds, but apparently I did have magic gas

[flop]

I've only just been diagnosed with EDS - my flexibility was "because you did gymnastics" - yeh, gave up gymnastics when I was 8 and it still makes me flexible??

My joint pains were "growing pains" - I was still growing in my 20's????

My fast heart rate was "due to anxiety about exams" - finals were still 8 months away, surely no-one gets that anxious???

My tiredness and brain fog were because "you have learned to feel ill"

My collapses were "attention seeking" even though I would collapse and injure myself when alone at home??

The comment that made me the most angry though came 2 years after I had been diagnosed with POTS (HR went from 80 to 170 on TTT). I saw a consultant neurologist (about a different problem) who told me that there was no such illness as POTS and that I was faking my entire illness and needed to see a psychiatrist!!!!!!!

[juliegee]

Great thread!

When I was hospitalized for weeks on end, unable to eat because of severe pain every time I tried...a psychologist came into my hospital room to talk with me about my ANOREXIA. Grrrrr.

Julie

Edited April 28, 2008 by flop
Duplicate post deleted

[corina]

it is great that we are able to have this conversation here! just us "dysautonomia's" laughing about things that have been said by doctors and that hurt us and even braught us to tears. i am sure that WE understand eachother so well and that makes me feel much better. to be allowed to laugh where we once felt almost humiliated. well, here is one of my experiences:

when i asked my neuro about other dysautonomia patients in my country (without asking him to give me names of course), he finally told me that i was the only one. and maybe there would be some more but nobody "so severe as you have it". and i answered him: "well, now i feel MUCH better" (this was aa few years ago, i know now that there are two more)

the other thing he told me was, that he didn't know any patient above 60 (as in: you will be cured some day????) i said: let's get 60 then and get my life back!!!

i do want you to know that we get along together very well. i think he tried to be nice to me.

thanks for bringing this up and to every one (who will) participate(d), it's very important to me that we can share these story's.

corina

[P SUDIK]

Well I just wanted to say I am now passed 60,and no better. Pat

[Mary P]

This is all so hillarious. Until today, when I was able to laugh at everyone else's diagnoses, I was really annoyed at things my doctor and others have said.

The Number 0ne diagnosis for my doctor is "There's nothing wrong with you!"

Yet, after three of her proclamations, and with me still feeling miserable, I asked to be referred to a specialist. I was diagnosed as having: a) Seven TIAs or more (MRI), H-Pylori (scope down my throat and into the stomach), and c) Strep throat (a simple swab did the trick here). Only then was I believed.

I now consider her second diagnosis, without even hearing what I have to say, to be "What's wrong with you now?" Last Fall when I saw her for the first time to talk about how miserable I had been feeling, she asked in a 'put-down' voice, "What's wrong with you now?" She did it again when I saw her the second time, when things were even worse.

The second time, after she said, "You've been 'dizzy' for 18 years", I asked to see the neurologist who had diagnosed the TIAs 5 years earlier. This time I was diagnosed this time with: d)Pure Autonomic Failure. Again, only then did she believe me. That's sad!

Except for what I truly consider to be a serious situation, I have seen her only for my annual exam. I can't believe that after 4 specialists have diagnosed 4 serious conditions, she still doesn't take me seriously. Perhaps I have to take some responsibility for what has been happening to me. I don't speak up and ask to be respected and believed.

In my town we can't change doctors. There are about 4000 people here without a family doctor and no doctor will take on anyone if he/she wants simply to change. Any new doctor to town interviews only those without any doctor, and makes choices as to who is acceptable as a potential patient and who isn't.

[Ernie]

Hi,

My doctor told me that I fainted while I was standing in the bus or in the metro because I was afraid of people. And I was so naive that I believe him for 20 or so year!

Another neurologist said that I had conversion disorder and that I fainted to get attention. I asked him, when I faint beside the swimming pool all alone, and almost drown, whose attention do I get. He did not answer.

Then my internist told me in 2002 that I pretended to faint and that I was so good at it that I even convinced myself that I fainted. That really played on my mind.

My neurologist told me that he had never seen in his 25 years of career a case such severe has mine so I must have Munchaussen. That's when I decided to go to NIH to get a real diagnosis.

After NIH, I was told that I made myself faint on purpose! As if I enjoy having a concussion!

It seems that some doctors have a lot of imagination to misjudge us and to have preconceive ideas.

[Maxine]

JaneEyre9, that is too funny.

We could put a good book together with this stuff.

Nina, you've had a lot of adventures with a bunch of dingy docs-----LOL

Ernie, I still get so amazed at the stupidity of those doctors. You could write a book on your own---

Dizz------ and let's not forget Dr. Mullet--------->

I laughed so hard, I almost peed my pants--------------- LOL

I just edited this----------(Dr. Mullet is a ficticious name that is made up, as this Doctor--(if you can call him that), had a very creepy mullet.

Maybe we could make a comedy-------------

Maxine :0)

[dizzygirl]

OH MAXINE!!!!!!!!! i certainly will never forget dr. mullet!!!!!! brief insight to dr mullet 9we renamed him that) I went to this particular Er where my ans dr is.. b/c i was very sick and wasnt getting any help at home.. so i travel over 4 hours to go there...

this ER dr was so insistant that i'd been to "his" er many times for the same thing and insisted that he'd seen me there before! i was like nope first time here..

anyways his "recommendation" to treat the squeezing in my head and the numbness thru my entire body was that i neeeded to pray more and become more spiritual. and that the reason i was not getting any better and getting sick is b/c i WANT to be sick and I DONT want to get better! and that i'm not spiritual enough..

needless to say i wigged and cried my eyes out b/c some time WAS wrong...

Oh and when i began to cry uncontrollably .. he said well i can see where this is going".. and walked out of the room and turned arounf before he pulled the curtain shut he said i'll pray for you.

then a few minutes later he sent the nurse in and asked me if i was suicidal.. b/c i told the doctor that i felt like i was dying.

ARGGGGGGGGG! gotta love stupidity!!!!!!!!!

[mrsdavidson8605]

I've had several quacky experiences (some funny, some not so funny)... here's one that always made me scratch my head...

One doctor told me, that when I stand up, I need to press my index finger firmly on my wrist, to avoid being lightheaded... I laughed with my husband and said I might as well have my finger GLUED to my wrist bc i'm lightheaded ALL THE TIME!!!!

[Dawg Tired]

dizzygirl.... you have "43"!!!!!

[Megan]

The fainting for attention was definitely one of my favorite ones... does anyone actually enjoy that kind of attention?!