((((HUGS)))) I've been through it about 6yrs ago with a man who messed me around. He made me so ill and I never really recovered from it. I just seem to have got worse as time went by and more stresses came along. So I can empathise. All you can do is look after you now, don't worry about whether someone is going to want you right now. Rest lots and try to find distractions from the pain he has caused so the emotions don't get to you as much. I know you wont want to hear this right now but he's saved you an awful lot more of grief had you got married and he's shown he's not worth it. Yes, it is harder to find someone with this illness but if a man's worth having he will see past it to YOU. I've now been with someone for well, getting on for 4yrs now. Accepts me warts and all, though he's ill too so understands better than the average person. However, don't think of never having anyone again, you have to get through this part first. Thinking of you.