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Need To Go Back To Work


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hi

my husband told me I need to go back to work pt because we cant afford me styaing home anymore. I understand but terrified I will not be able to cope. I can barely get the kids off to school, still not feeling well, and havent been able to find a dr or treatments that make sense for me.

Any suggestions?

Thank you for listening!

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I'm sorry that you're in this situation. I know with certainty that I simply could not go back to work right now if I absolutely had to...Have you checked into other options? There is help through the county, state, and federal government. Have you applied for any help or disability? I'm currently getting long-term disability from my old job, and I just was approved for federal disability. If you could get fed disability, it should take the place of a part-time job and much cheaper insurance than you're probably carrying right now. If you need to work in the interim, perhaps a job from home? That would have been my solution if I didn't get my disability. Don't give up - there are lots of ideas out there.

Wishing you the best, and let us know how you're doing.

Jana

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I know that is added stress for you just knowing he thinks you should go back to work. Is he willing to help you more if you go to work? Would he get the kids off to school? I know just getting ready to go to work or anywhere else pretty much wears me out. Hope things work out for you.

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  • 1 month later...

I was also the bigger bread-winner of the two of us - but I simply couldn't work anymore. It can really take a toll financially, but your health must come first. Are there other avenues for you to get income? Have you applied for disability? Please update us as to your status and how you're doing....

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I'm in the same situation so if you would like to chat through things, you can always PM me.

It's so difficult. I'm looking but in my field in this market it's probably a good 4-6 months until I find something reasonable. I do marketing so I need a part-time or around 40 hours a week (no crazy OT) where I can have minimal to no travel and sit. I can't take a standing job, I know my limits.

So maybe you can do what I've done - decide what your basic expectations are for a position and go from there. You aren't going to get work overnight so maybe while looking you can further investigate treatment and what works for you.

During my last round of employment I, surprisingly, found I felt better earlier in the day the earlier I got up. I was surprised. This wasn't constant, but about 80% true. You know we all have bad days.

The hardest part is it takes a year to get on FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) at a full time job. That was a long wait for me last job...but at least when you reach that point you can take your doctor appointments, treatments, etc. without putting your job in jeopardy.

People mention disability...if we found a job with LT Disability and things will went downhill at least we may be able to resort to that eventually. But again, many jobs I know require 12 months on the job for pre-existing conditions for LTD. Maybe someone else has more info on this? And I believe you have to have a good doctor backing you up.

Good luck to you and know you aren't alone - I'm dealing with this and others are, too. I tell myself if I get a job, I'll do as well as I can for as long as I can and go from there. It's all one can do.

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I really feel for you. I've had the same problem as you, although my partner doesn't tolerate me not working no matter how ill I am, even though he could afford to look after both of us on his salary.

I've found that the way to manage it is to plan, plan, plan:

1. Get a job as close to home as possible, preferably in an office where you can sit down all day and put your legs up on a box or stool under your desk if that's possible.

2. Minimize travel: Work out how you're going to get to work and back every day and how long it will take. Plan the easiest time to get there and leave, even if it means working a little bit at home to show that you are still working even if you get in a bit late or leave early.

3. Plan the food you are going to eat each day so you don't have to worry about what effect it will have on you.

4. Prepare your clothes for the whole week on the weekend, don't feel that you have to wear a different thing each day. Do clothes washing at the weekends or ask your husband to do it.

5. Find cheap childcare. Easier said than done, but maybe amongst your friends there are a few people who could cart the children around to where they need to go and look after them? With the extra income you may be able to afford to pay someone?

6. Pay a cleaner to come in once a week for a couple of hours.

I know this is all easier said than done, and despite talking about it, I haven't managed it yet. Although the weeks that I do manage bits of it, it certainly makes life much easier for me.

Janey

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I really feel for you. I've had the same problem as you, although my partner doesn't tolerate me not working no matter how ill I am, even though he could afford to look after both of us on his salary.

I've found that the way to manage it is to plan, plan, plan:

1. Get a job as close to home as possible, preferably in an office where you can sit down all day and put your legs up on a box or stool under your desk if that's possible.

2. Minimize travel: Work out how you're going to get to work and back every day and how long it will take. Plan the easiest time to get there and leave, even if it means working a little bit at home to show that you are still working even if you get in a bit late or leave early.

3. Plan the food you are going to eat each day so you don't have to worry about what effect it will have on you.

4. Prepare your clothes for the whole week on the weekend, don't feel that you have to wear a different thing each day. Do clothes washing at the weekends or ask your husband to do it.

5. Find cheap childcare. Easier said than done, but maybe amongst your friends there are a few people who could cart the children around to where they need to go and look after them? With the extra income you may be able to afford to pay someone?

6. Pay a cleaner to come in once a week for a couple of hours.

I know this is all easier said than done, and despite talking about it, I haven't managed it yet. Although the weeks that I do manage bits of it, it certainly makes life much easier for me.

Janey

My last job was really close to home, relatively, so that was a big bonus. Now I realize I may not be so fortunate, but it was helpful. It's worth keeping in mind when searching! It's less of a daily stress = shorter commute.

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Boy!! I don't know what I would do...hmmm disabiltiy? I am one of those that simply cna't work. I would have had to give up my house and everythihng first but I can't make it to work.

I am attempting to take a class that requires I do a very small amount of work. I may not make this either. I seem to be able to do a few days (or hours of each day)...but after about 3 days I land in the hospital. My body doesn't work at all at that point. I owuld shake and not be able to walk more than 10 ft. (so frightening) along with all the other symptoms. I do'nt know if it is POTS at my age (I am 46) or just POTS...but I shake and can barely function if I try to do a normal day anywhere (even if I could push myself thru it).

SO disability would probabluy be the best bet. OR have him work a 2nd job. Sometimes you ust cna't. And that is it!!

Erika

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