morgan617

Oh how I miss my Chloe, but I got myself two new babies. Pompoos. Itty bitty critters. They are two weeks apart in age, will weigh about 5 pounds fully grown and what personalities! One is very cream color , with peach ears. That's Abbie. The other is Black with a white stripe straight down her chest, hence the name Oreo. They are a handful at this point, what with teething and potty training, etc, but they keep my mind off a lot of negative stuff. I was going to name them Abbie and Costella, but no one got what i was doing, so tossed it out. My DIL said, is that a musical group???? I am so O-L-D. We just got Oreo last night and she smelled like a goat and peed all over herself. Dave had to go an hour out of town to get her. So the first thing was a BATH. I thought we'd give her a heart attack. She is a bit shyer than Abbie, but they are a hoot and a half. They are 13 and 11 weeks. Anyway, it's a good thing....but I wish I still had my baby girl....newmommorgan

I got my guy and he's right in the middle of things...YIKES. I send the care packages they make up, as I just can't get out and shop and mail and stuff. It makes it much easier. I also got the bracelet and told him it would not come off my wrist until he set foot on American soil safely. They are very pretty. I bet something like you make Nina, and it has his name on it. Whenever someone comments on it, I use it to get a fire under them. Finally, I feel a bit useful. What a wonderful thing this is....morgan

Lately I'm lucky if I can walk at all..I feel like thousand pound weights are on my arms and legs, I'm walking through jello and I can't keep my eyes open. I am so far beyond exhaustion, there is really no word for it.....What gives...

I told my GI doctor I was worried about all the weight I was dropping and he said I had a looong way to go before I needed to worry about that!!! (Men are so obtuse, I cried for 3 days because of course he said I was fat) Now everytime I see him, he asks if I've gained any weight yet, and I remind him, I have a looong way to got before I need to worry about it....haha I'm glad your tests came back negative, and i certainly know the "have to figure it out for yourself" route, been there done that. It doesn't get us very far sometimes though. Just enough info to scare the bejeebers out of ourselves....and I can truly relate to tired of feeling crappy, we all can. And we all need to get our 2 cents in, whatever it may be. It's perfectly okay to agree to disagree, as long as we are civil about it. If we all agreed on every single thing, it would be pretty dang boring here. And as it's been noted, it's often hard to read what's going on behind what's written. The sweetest thing can be misinterpreted, if you can't see the person to get body language and tone.....morgan

Therapy my dear.....

I get it with any kind of exertion, I hate it, but I just rest and wait for it to go away and then try again. I know I don't have coronary artery disease, so I guess it doesn't worry me as much as it would if I was this age (52) and didn't know.....not sure what to tell you. Hopefully one of your docs can figure it out....remember when a person said chest pain and people flew to help you.... oh yeah, that's what they do for men.....

I lose the ability, I mean like the physical ability to swallow and have to get my esophagus dilated every 8 weeks. It's miserable. I'm not sure why I can't swallow (potassium related?) but I have strictures very high up and mid esophagus. I had angiodema once, but they never figured out the cause, man it was miserable though. Started out as a hive the size of New York on my butt, of all things and just progressed till I thought I was having a heart attack. I went to a minor ER and he said I had a hive on my butt and told me to take Benadryl. I had never had hives in my life. But by midnight I had them everywhere...including down my esophagus, so I took the benadryl. I ended up having to get a steroid shot and have never had it happen again. It was the strangest thing. But painful, scary and miserable too. So, yup....morgan

I get them a lot after eating, and at any other given time. Very annoying, but no one seems concerned, so I guess I'm not either.....morgan

as per the usual sweet melissa....

I think we have all had moments of obssesive worrying about one thing or another. I used to take my BP constantly, now my cuff sits in a corner collecting dust. I've had ketones in my urine, but typically you look for it with dehydration. (I live on Beechnut baby food) I've done urine ph's and they won't tell you anything, unless you have the blood work to correlate. So we really can drive ourselves nuts with stuff. I wouldn't worry about a doctor that looked up a lab, as a rule, at least you know it's going to get done correctly, as many of mine haven't been. We do have to be advocates for ourselves, and if a doctor just feels wrong, we have to go with that. There aren't a lot of them out there willing to put up with our weirdness, which doesn't help. I have been ordering self labs from our local largest lab. They do certain labs without a doctor's order, you just have to pay for them. My BUN and creatinine have been elevated, which indicates a kidney problem. They are continuing to go up, so I have monitored them myself. I wrote the doctor a letter, sent him results, and have talked to the staff on the phone, all to no avail. I see the MDA doctor in a week or so and then see my primary after that, and will hand carry the labs in. I am not obsessing, although I suppose it could be seen that way. But I do think a doctor should be interested and ordering routine labs if you are showing signs of renal failure. So, in this instance, I get them every couple of weeks and see they are continuing to rise and will have to advocate for myself. It's all very relative and different for each of us. I think sometimes we just get so desperate for an answer, we just start looking at everything available out there and just make ourselves more nuts. And I think it can go in cycles. I can go forever and have absolutely no interest in what my body is doing, but then some new symptom comes along and it's whoa nelly, what's up here. I was accepted and had an appointment made with one of the top Periodic Paralysis doctors in the world and he, without so much as a second thought, had his secretary call and say, oops, go away. I find this to be way too traumatic for me anymore, getting my hopes up for for a cretin like that. So I have become apathetic about my state of health. I will show these labs to my doctor and he will probably ask me what the hello I want him to do about it, and I will say, well some renal studies maybe, and he will say, to what end? And I will say okay, let's not. This is how I deal at this point. Someone else may deal very differently. I don't think anyone is "right or wrong" in how they deal with their chronic illness, just different. Some of us are past thinking that diagnosis and cure is at the next appointment, and some of us still hold out hope at every appointment. Some of us are a bit obsessed and some not enough, perhaps. But I'd venture to say, we've all been in the same places at one time or another. I don't think anyone got upset Lindajoy. We just all have varying opinions about stuff. What is written on a computer can be misinterpreted, because you don't hear how a question is asked, or see the body language that goes with it. We just need to keep that in mind when reading posts.....good luck with your new doctor sweetie, hope you get better vibes from him. morgan

That's great Pat, hope it works out well! morgan

I have this kind of stuff all the time and it always weirds me out....I have no real depth perception or something anymore, so stuff looks weird, like slanting floors and things. Last night I was standing in the kitchen and it suddenly felt like the floor was coming up at me....Lord only knows what the deal is..I just stick it out and it goes away. We all have weird stuff like this, so you shouldn't be embarrassed. I don't mind the stuff I'm used to, but so hate it when when stuff like that happens and catches me off guard. morgan

Sex? Sex Drive...no idea what you all are talking about ....

Great news Ernie! Amazing what perseverance can do! I'm happy for you...morgan

There's another site called anysoldier.com, for those that have a hard time with getting a care package together. You can order them and a soldier's mom puts them together and sends them off. You have 100's of soldiers to choose from. They want letters too. Someone (like a sargeant) delegates the care packages and letters to soldiers who don't get any mail. I actually got a letter from a soldier and it was such a day brightener! No matter how we feel about the war, these guys and gals can use all the support we can give them....thanks for your site, I will go on over there and make myself useful! morgan

Thank you all for your sweet and much appreciated responses. This has been very very difficult for me. I never realized just how much a part of my life she was, until she wasn't here. I miss her barking, hogging the bed, the way she talked to us (you will understand that Lois and bananas) the way she pretended not to be looking at me when she was begging for scraps. And her smile, she really did smile. But I do know she was suffering and I am positive she is now romping as a westie should, full of energy and spunk and stubborness. I have tentatively started looking for a new dog, as I am so lonely without that companionship. She was the only company I had all day and usually in the evenings. It is too quiet and too lonesome without a furry friend. I know our pets understand this. There is guilt, but there are so many babies out there to love and that will love you back. And they need homes and security. So, we will see what happens...but again, thank you all for helping me through this very rough time......morgan

I have gotten several pm's from people here about my westie, Chloe. She has had health problems since she was about 6 months old. A few months ago they finally discovered Addison's. She kept looking like pancreatitis, so they kept getting thrown off. They did an ultasound and discovered she had virtually no adrenal glands on either side. She has been on medications, but never did perk up like she should have. It was an unusual type. She has been failing for the last couple of weeks, so we made the excruciating decision of easing her out of this life and into the next, where there is no pain or illness and lots of friends to play with, and the energy to do it. I am having quite a terrible time with this. She wasn't even 3. We got flowers from the vet already, they were all crying along with my son and I. All knew my baby very well, from her frequent visits. Anyway, for those that commented to me, I appreciate it, she was an angel. And my baby. You can see her on my avatar as she should have always been, laughing and rolling in the grass, loving life.....morgan

Thanks for being so helpful to us! It is so appreciated! Now if we could only clone you a few kazillion times...... morgan

I've been at both ends due to meds. Over and under. And to top it off, I'm very very short. I used to get asked if I was going to sue the city for building the sidewalks too close to my rear end,etc etc. I actually found it funny too. (I'm sure Nina can relate!) People didn't pick on me when I was over weight, (My gastro did say at one point I had "a long way to go" before I needed to worry about my weight loss. He eats those words every time he sees me now, but he is more bothered by it than me) but I have no doubt comments were made, I've heard more than I care to think about, when people are talking about other people. Now people say I'm too thin. I get more comments now, but I have never taken it as a negative. Unless someone just comes out and says I'm fat, or accuses me of being anorexic, I just assume they care about how I am. Call me naive, but I just don't let what people feel or think about my weight or height bother me. I think all that doctor meant was, you are thin. Well, you apparently are, so he was just making an accurate statement. I have far more problems with "you look so good, so you can't feel bad." I don't think there's female on earth who doesn't have a few body image problems, and we just have to deal with them as best we can, because there's always going to be someone sticking their foot in it, depending on how sensitive you are. I guess my point is, if the worst thing anyone ever says about me is, I'm pudgy, skinny, or short, I will feel fortunate. My guess is I get more comments on my attitude than my physical appearance...LOL. I'm a whole lot crankier than I used to be.

Endoscopies are a breeze. The only prep is nothing to eat for a few hours before and a nice nap. I get one every 8 weeks. My son took paxil for quite awhile and never had any side effects at all. Good luck! morgan

lloppyllama, it doesn't really feel like restless leg, my hubby has that. Just a tickly outside the leg on the skin, not like I have to move them around or anything. I was thinking it might be a neuropathy sunnyfish, and at least I know it's not just me. Thanks. Sure does burn, and thankfully the spidery sensation isn't real often...yikes.

Geez, I feel like the soles of my feet are on fire all the time, and they turn this weird maroon color. No one seems to have any idea what it is. It's horrid after I shower. As far as my legs, I get more of a sensation of spiders or a bug are scooting down them. I've been known to rip off a nightgown in 1.1 seconds, thinking a bug was running down my leg. Or legs. So it's not tingling, just spidery...gross...morganthebughater

I started taking valium 1-2 mg over ten years ago for menieres disease. It's an inner ear disorder that causes disabling vertigo and hurling. Think of a boat in a whirlpool that's also bouncing up and down...YUCKO. The typical med is a diuretic, but after 2 doses of HCTZ and a potassium of 2.3, they decided valium was a better choice. I now take 90 meq of potassium a day with no diuretic meds. But I digress. After ten or so years, I have not only not developed a tolerance, I have decreased the dose. I take 2 mg three times a day. Valium is one of the benzos with a very long half life. Something like 50 hours I guess. I haven't looked too closely because I don't really care. There are and always will be stigmas about benzos, by someone, but I could give a rip, it helps my meneires and my autonomic surges and that's all I care about. My doctor told me once if people wanted to call him a dealer for giving me a whopping 6 mg a day, they were free to do it.....He's just thrilled he can help a little. I do not tolerate klonopin at all. it just goes to show how different we all are. I think when we find something that gives us a bit of better quality of life, who is anyone to deny us that? Or judge. Anyone walking or falling in our shoes for a very short time, will have a quick change of mind.....morgan

Glad it all went well jennifer! Hope you get some much needed answers sweetie! morgan

I had one, but here it is called a CPET test. cardiopulmonary exercise test. I walked for mine. It's exactly like a treamill, and you are hooked up exactly the same, except you breath in a PFT like tube, as opposed to just walking and breathing. You just have to meet a target heart rate or if you get too fatigued, they will stop it. I lasted only 4 minutes, but they got a lot of info. It's a test that determines how well your heart and lungs work together and if one is causing a problem with the other. It can tell if you hyperventilate and stuff. They will not keep you on it longer than you can tolerate. Sometimes they draw a bit of blood from you to measure the oxygen in it, but not often. Mine showed I don't hyperventilate, and my pulse was way too inappropriately fast, but my lungs worked okay and they worked together like they should. They will make sure you are fine before you leave and you don't get any meds to have to worry about. All I got was tired. And I am always tired anyway, so no big deal. it is nothing to be afraid of, and a doctor and two attendants are there. Sorry about the spelling, I used to be so good at it....good luck sweetie...morgan