Maxine

Amby, My tilt table test was "normal" too in 2001. Then another was taken in 2004----again it was normal. However, I'm on beta blockers, and there is no way I can go off them---I've been on them too long. Dr. Grubb diagnosed the POTS based on a long history of other symptoms that correlated with POTS. My heart rate did go over 100 BPM, and my blood pressure dropped more then 30 points, but it was delayed. I don't pass out either, but I have near syncope all the time. I have terrible orthostatic Intolerance, and my body hates gravity. My heart rate doesn't compensate for my drops in blood pressure at times, and this has been happening more often. I just get tachy whenever---even in my sleep, and even on my beta blockers. So there is not one person on this earth that will tell me I don't have dysautonomia. I also have a lot of the other symptoms that go with POTS. Dr. Grubb just knows better and has years of experience looking for the ear markers of the different forms of dysautonomia. Having a "normal" tilt table does not necessarily mean you don't have POTS. I'm so sorry your dealing with this mess right now----I was in this same mess in 2000/2001 until I found Dr. Grubb who happened to be less then a mile away from my house--- All these Doctors I was going to, some of them on the same hospital campus as Dr. Grubb, and none of them could help me. Some were rude, verbally abusive, or just plain dismissive. However, the neurologist I saw back in 2001 at the same hospital as Dr. Grubb did try to help---he was pretty cool. He could tell things were not right, but it ended up that he couldn't figure it out either. Later another neurologist from the same hospital campus said everything was manifested in my mind---including all the things you see listed on the signature line. It's really hard finding a good ANS doctor. I wish you the best of luck with your appointment on Feb. 6th. I'm sorry you had to deal with such a dismissive doctor. Sending you a Big Hug, and a prayer for getting to the right doctor to take your seriously. Take care, Maxine :0)

Thank you michele and tearose---------- I'll talk to the PT, or ask my local doc if she knows of a place with a pool that isn't too hot, or if there is some kind of wet suit to help my body not feel the heat--- I'll will have my PCP write a prescription for PT as soon as my heart testing is done. Michele, I did do walking in the pool and I liked it, but the water was too warm, and it affected my POTS. when I can find a pool that agrees with me I will be doing that again also. I forgot about that---------walking in the water would help also, and be a nice work out. Once when I was walking in a pool where the water was all the way up to my neck, it was great. However, no one warned me when I get out of the water what would happen. I imagine they didn't have a clue about our gravity issues that come with OI/POTS-----that why it's important for the medical community to be educated on this, so things like this don't happen. It was horrible---------------my body felt like it weighed over 1000 pounds. My heart flipped out, and I started to grey out. I didn't know about my EDS, and I imagine since I have vascular involvement with blood pooling, my blood must have dumped-------- Dr. Bolognese from TCI--(the chiari institute) sent me an e-mail with the results of my latest MRI. Things are the same other then new lesions forming, and a flattened pituitary gland which can cause another set of problems. I talked with the NP from Dr. Bolognese's office about setting up an appointment for spring. She said to e-mail Dr. Bolognese to see if the EDS specialist will be there also----so I can see both docs in the same trip. I still have to schedule the colonoscopy whihc the whole family has to have since my brother was diagnosed with colon cancer last year. And I also have to get fitted for a c-pap machine at a sleep study after it was determined I have obstructive sleep apnea-probably due to the brain stem compression. This doesn't sound real does it---------------- Maxine :0)

Thanks PAT57, and Dizz. I will definately start pool therapy soon. I have to find a pool that I can handle, as many of the PT pools are too hot, and make me sick. In the meantime, I really can't do anything that is not in pool. I'll probably have to go with the YMCA pool. However, I would sure like to have the guidence of a PT to help me with body mechanics. It's going to be pretty basic though, so maybe I can handle it without. I'll be using a kick board, as I can only exercise my lower half due to the cervical/cranial instability. Today I called one of the moderators of the WACMA site---(world arnold chiari malformation association) to discuss the worsening of the EDS issues, and she recommended that I call Dr. McDonnell to see if I can be moved up for the study, or perhaps see Dr. Francomano who also works in Genetics at NIH----but I'm not sure about her, as she may have relocated. I also contacted TCI, and I'll see when I can set up my appointment with Dr. Bolognese and Dr. Kula. This is all so overwhelming. Maxine :0)

I wish I would have never snaked myself around my car seat to get a sippy cut from my grand daughter. I should have known better-----the EDS specialist told me my spine is hyper mobile. So hear I am with more pain then I had before. That's what I get for not thinking............ Maxine :0)

Oy is right--- I get this same thing, and it usually happens suddenly, and sometimes it's while I'm trying to get out and do something---like go out to dinner, or try to go for a short store visit. I can't do any long ones anymore. It's terrible----------feeling weak and overstimulated at the same time----How in the world can the two exist at the same time? I think it's part of the POTS---------------but it you continue to have this, and it's not your usual symptoms, you might want to give your doctor a call--- I hope this passes for you quickly. I know how terrible this can make you feel. HUGS, Maxine :0)

Melissa--------sending more HUGS-------------wishing and praying for your recovery from this, and also praying they find the source of this infection.......................... Love, Maxine :0)

I wish they would have had more focus with Dr. McDonnell and the young man who is affected so bad with his EDS that he has to use a wheel chair. If they want to interview the gentleman from the UK---the focus should have been on the realities of his EDS, not the freak show. While I'm glad something on EDS was aired on TV, I think they should have not included the freak show, and kept things at a serious level. EDS is a serious disorder. I did not realize how much pain EDS can cause, and how disabling it can become. Maxine :0)

Lauren, I'm glad you have some suggestions from our little community sent your way. I'm sorry I'm chiming in a bit late , but I wanted to let you know I'm in your corner, and praying that good things come your way. I also wonder if there is a church that may be able to help somehow, I know other folks who have been helped. I can only imagine what you must be feeling after losing your only true support system. Fortunately there are other ways to get support, but I realize this has to be a scary time for you. I wish there was something I can offer other then my support, but it looks like you have some great suggestions--- Sending you a BIG HUG, Maxine :0)

I get really whipped after the orgasm, and sometimes feel pretty shaky, especially if it happens in the evening. It's not the same as it used to be--- We try a couple times a week, and if I'm not feeling too well, then I will pleasure him. I find it best to do it in the morning. I don't want to get too tachy before the big O, so we figure ways to avoid that--- Maxine :0)

Thanks Dizz!----- Yes---I do need to be very picky with a PT. I have had PT in 2002 before i was diagnoed with the instability and EDS. The PT was to help me learn better body mechanics, and tone my legs after my cerviccal spine surgery. I think I will most likely talk with TCI Docs about the pain issues----they can recommend that my local doc write a prescription. Since they are so familiar with EDS, and are involved in the EDS study at NIH they will have a good Idea of what the combination of EDS and spine instability is doing to me. I know I have dislocated my right shoulder blade a couple of times, but I did not realize how bad this can get. Just putting my hands over my head on the CT Bed caused so much pain in my shoulders---i was quite surprised. I think that combined with my spine pain put me over the edge last nigh. I will be making more appointments with my therapist---(every two weeks) to help me move on from this incident with those nurses. There is only one other thing that made me feel betrayed the same way------it's how my employer handled my illness, and a close friend of mine that I HIRED turned her back on me. I worked there 10 years, and when I got sick their only concern was that I might sue them after it was found I had lead poisoning------------they quickly got rid of me. A lot of fumes came in through the vent in the front office, and a lot of the girls complained who worked there. But I had been there the longest---so maybe more exposure------who knows-------- I made them sign a lay off slip so I could collect unemployment, as it was not determined I could not work until late 2003, and this was April 2001. I was still so sick, but nothing was officially diagnosed yet, other the then lead poisoning, and then blood work later showed normal............but then again the blood life is only 35 days............hmmmmmmmmmm. Thanks again dizz............... Maxine :0)

Thanks for your support Sophia and Mkoven--- The Ice helped me last night and made the spine pain settle down a little. It's still there everyday, but the intense pain has calmed. I usually get this in spurts, but last night it lasted, and it took my breath away. My shoulders are feeling better too. I slept 10 hours which also helped. If I could just find a doctor locally who is familiar with all of my issues that would be nice. As far as PT. I am warned to be extremely careful due to my cervical spine/cranial instability which puts pressure on my brain stem from the c-2/odontoid bone flexing forward along with the prominant vertebral artery, and the chiari-0/small posterior fossa---and other spine instability. The EDS specialist said only PT in a pool, and only with a kick board. I may not use my upper body in any form of PT other then using 2 pound weight to try and keep my arms toned. This is why I'm doing the cardio testing so I can feel comfortable working out in a pool. YES-----ANYONE CAN STALK US, this I know, as this is a PUBLIC forum. BUT, it is NOT ethical for a nurse to tell you she has been reading your posts---and then verbally abuse you on the phone because of her own personal opinion that she feels I can work full time based on 1.4 posts on average a day--------(claiming I sit there posting all day long on the computer). This is so insane, and what kind of nurse is this who spends her time doing things like this-------how is this affecting her work performance? If I choose to have surgery to correct the upper spine instability--(hopefully I will have a choice in this), then it will only help things from worsening neurologically. I may get lucky and have some improvement, but it is likely that the pain issues will be helped, and that may be it. The EDS has targeted my spine a great deal, and the other areas of my body are being affected more as time goes along. Since my EDS has affected my vascular system this helps explain my OI, and why it's getting worse. It makes a big difference if your Docs take you seriously----and locally I only have one of those, and his time with me is limited due to a huge patient load, so I only ask him to address my POTS issues, and he is doing the best he can. Correction---I do have a new neurologist who seems to take this stuff seriously, ans she is watching those brain lesions closely. I'm also on a waiting list for the EDS study at NIH, and will be seeing the neurosurgeons this spring to discuss my spine instability. I do have a brace for my cervical and thoracic spine, and this helps relieve the pain somewhat, but you can only sit in a straight chair or stand with this on because it will ride up my body and push up on my neck in any other position----that is why a lot of people with this type of spine instability hate those cervico/thoracic vests. I also use ICE----but my pain levels are getting too high and I'll need pain meds. Hopefully this won't shut down my bowels any more then they already are. So one needs to have an open MIND---and not judge a person saying that they are not trying to help themselves in so many words. No one knows better then my therapist on how hard I work to get the help I need! "Can't lives on won't street"? what is this? And as far as positive thinking goes-----good support goes a long way to help that along, but I still try even if the support isn't there............. It amazing the ignorance out there---isn't it................hmmmmmmmmmm I think I'll find a piece of dark chocolate to perk me up a bit, so I can get that "positive thinking" rolling. Right now I'm doing everything I can to help myself---despite the ignorant nimrods who try to put a monkey wrench into the mix trying to mess that up for me. My depression is being treated also, and I don't think it would be half as bad right now if I had not been through this crazy stalking incident. Maxine

My pain is so bad tonight that I feel on the verge of collapse. My spine is on fire----especially right in the middle just before the curve----it's horrible. I'm on ICE right now. A friend of mine from NY told me about ultram-(spelling?) for her EDS pain, and said it also helps with her OI symptoms. When my body settles down a bit, I was thinking of trying it. I need to do something. Tonight we went to Meijer-----50% off things that were already 50% off---we went for my grandaughter, my husband did all the work---putting her in and out of the car seat, cart ect. All I had to do was walk from the handicapped parking spot to the door, and tool around the store a bit. I could only hang in the childrens clothing dept., as my spine pain, and shoulder pain was sucking the juice out of me. By the time we went to pay for the clothes I was a train wreck. My husband went to gently rub my back and I snapped at him to not touch me. No one can touch me at this pint because I feel like a jittery mess, and my body is buzzing from the torso down. I wish I could turn back time---and I would have never snaked myself around my car seat to grab Kaela's sippy cup that day. I didn't think-----I just wanted to make sure she had her cup----she's at the 2 1/2 year old meltdown stage, and with my POTS we try to avoid those---- Loud noises shrill through my body----amkes my POTS go crazy-----------it's also know that people with chiari related conditions have this thing where noises sound louder---I can't remember what they call it...... All I know is that something is sticking out in the middle of my back now---and the pain is mind numbing---and it wraps around to my chest----screwing with my heat making me worry if it's chest pain---or my back pain again. I only made it though half the cardiac CT scan yesterday----once again, they couldn't get my heart rate down. We doubled my beta blocker, doubled the klonopin, and added valium----my hear rate went from the 90s to 106---it just went up. They even gave me an IV bolus bag------but i'm wondering if they infused me to rapidly, as that is when my HR jump up more. My BP was high for me-----138/88----very high for me. It runs very low normally----but when I get overstimulated by going out---especially the hospital, my BP runs high. Basically this a POTS crash for me-----I'm more symptomatic when my BP is high. When it's low I get very sluggish and wiped out, but when it's high, my wiped out feeling is worse, becaue I'm also very over stimulated at the same time. My near syncope happens when I'm thinking I'm doing OK---and suddenly find out I'm not. Basically this is when i'm trying to walk with very low BP, and all of a sudden my balance is off, and the floor is moving. I get so overstimulated----that I would rather deal with low BP. I can work my way around that. And if I can't get around, at least I don't lay on the couch with my body buzzing all over the place. I have had good treatment from my neurosurgeons from out of state in NY, and Wisconsin, and the EDS specialist in Cincinnati. Since I've been stalked by the nurse, a couple of the nurses don't treat me the same, and I'm not even sure that my health issues are taken all that seriously. I'm a sand bagger usually, and half the time I don't even express how bad it really is to some people, so when I do express the full extent of my pain, and symptoms to a medical office I want to be taken seriously. I just hate going through my list of symptoms and problems---it just takes a lot of energy. I have made an appointment with Dr. Chelimski in Cleveland. I need to see an ANS specialist who is also a neurologist. I do have a local neurologist, and she is trying to help, so I feel gald for that. She is the one who is looking after those lesions in my brain----especially the one on my brain stem area. I'm really not going to go into a whole lot of my other health issues with Chelimski---unless he asks. I want an autonomic workup----. I want to find out why my heart rate isn't compensating when my blood pressure drops to 70s over something, but yet it will spike up over 100 bpm just sitting ----or even in my sleep, and this is on 60mgs of my beta blocker propranolol. Then this morning I wake up with bruised shoulders---especially the left-----sore to the touch. Then i'm trying to remember when I hit my shoulder on something. Then I feel my right one, and it feels bruised, but not as bad. The only thing I can think of is that I had to put my hands over my head for the CT calcium scoring. Now how in the world can they get that sore from this-----maybe the EDS? They were pretty hyper mobile when I had to move them back. I don't know............. It seems like the EDS has affected me more quickly in the last hear and a half or so, so that's why I wanted to see a specialist. He told me i'm aging, and that I'm not going nuts, and that I will have more problems, and it may seem like it's all at one. SEEM? It is all at once........... Sorry folks---just venting mostly-----and really depressed---(profoundly) since the incident with the verbally abusive nurse who stalked me on this forum----especially since I had the courage to step up to the plate and place a formal complaint, and now I'm being punished for it. I can't shake the anxiety when I go for any kind of medical treatments of procedures since all this has happened. I feel a little hopeless---and I just needed to vent. I'm truly sorry I have not been on here offering more support-----------I'm just so wiped out. This is long----so I'm going. I have my lap top propped up on a pillow, and it's still painful to type. Then I make mistakes, and get so frustrated I want to throw something----I not amking any corrections tonight---so I hope you are able to understand ........ A very Sad Maxine--------------I should snap out of it---just having a bad night-------

I usually know if a medication isn't going to work out for me right away. Even an SSRI or other type of anti-depressant. I was fortunate that the wellbutrin didn't give me any side affects, but when we tried to increase the dose it did, and I had to go back on the 100mgSR once a day. A lot of people don't tolerate Wellbutrin very well. I was surprised I did, because I am very sensitive to meds. My husband tried it for mild depression and he thought he might climb the walls. He decided to work it out another way--------- My husband is one of those people with great health----so much so, that he was able to raise his life insurance and the monthly pmt. stayed the same----needless to say, I was really surprised at his reaction to it----------------the anxiety was intense for him. I would call you doctor if things are that bad----see if he wants you to give it another week. Maxine :0)

You guys are awesome with your help to Melissa. She is blessed to have such a group of people who care so much--and I know how much her family cares, they are such troopers. I know this has to be a very trying time for her parents. Melissa remains in my thoughts and prayers. Maxine :0)

Yes, your right-------------they didn't spend nearly the time they should have with Dr. McDonnel showing how this stuff can affect lives, and the pain ect. They did show the serious side of the guy in the freak show showing his morphine patches that he uses for all the joint pain. They also didn't show that there is one form of EDS that is life threatening. At least I don't remember----did they? The aorta can be affected, and organ rupture as well. Maxine :0)

Yes I did! Dr. McDonnel is the doctor I'm signed up with for the study at NIH. I was surprised to see her on the program. She really brings the seriousness of this disorder out. It is true that there is a lot of pain.--------------Mine seems to increase with activity,and sitting up to long. A lot of people don't get it--it's truly pretty rough......... I'm supposed to go to the study some time this year, and the last I checked I'm still on the waiting list. It feels like my spine is falling apart at the seams...............and it doesn't help that I have a heavy rib cage, and a long torso.......... It's good that they showed the serious side of this disorder. Maxine :0)

I get them dizz---------------I hate them, and they scare the you know what out of me. I don't get those that often, but they are scary when I get them. Dr. bolognese from TCI said it was most likely connected to my upper cervical spine/cranial instability. I hope you feel better soon dear...........you know I'm rooting for you... Maxine :0)

Some doctors who specialize in EDS will do an ECHO to check for MVP or other valve issues, and they will also check the aorta to see if that is affected by the EDS. I was diagnosed with MVP in 1982, and again in 1990, but I was later told I don't have this. My last ECHO showed trivial leakage in three valves, and I was told this is nothing. Maxine :0)

I'm glad you appointment went well, and hopefully you can get a relief in your symptoms. You may consider seeing and EDS specialist to confirm your EDS diagnosis. My NSG in Ny thought I had it, and so did the physical medicine doctor at the Cleveland Clinic. I still wondered if I had true EDS. I decided to go to Cincinnati Childrens Hospital and see an EDS specialist/geneticist, and he said I have EDS TYPE III hypermobile type with vascular and skin involvement. I also saw a cardiologist there as well who did a detailed ECHO to rule out involvement of the Aorta. My aorta was fine, and he said if I don't have problems with this at age 47 then I probably won't. The EDS doc also thought my spine was affected a great deal from my EDS----unusually hyper mobile, and unfortunately this has been a problem as you can see by my signature line. I have to be extremely careful with my body mechanics. It was difficult to tell by my skin because I have chronic dry skin, but the unexposed areas were not dry and you could clearly see the "soft velvety skin', and the cigarette paper looking scars---poor wound healing ect. I have blood pooling in my arms, legs, and abdomin from the vascular involvement. It is obvious in the joints, and did not need much investigation there......... It is important to get a expert in EDS to see what treatments are available to help with your EDS symptoms. I wish you the best, take care. Maxine :0)

I got through to the disinissues web site and they should be able to give me some ideas. I can't switch to a different doctor---his office is close to my home--- Maxine :0)

PS--------------I did change my name already on this forum, and all the other fourms I belong to. They will probably figure out how to do it again somehow. Just let her stalk me again .............................................I wonder if other people have been stalked as well.... Maxine

Uggggg---------------------you have no idea the deep state of depression I ended up in because of this whole thing. I never expected that a medcial professional would do that. More people need to step up to the plate when a person from a medical office is abusive. I filed a formal complaint. However, because of this I am handled by the nurse management when ever I call that office----(as if I was the one that did something wrong---when In reality I was the one who was verbally attacked, and stalked on a support site). The nurse got a slap on the wrist, and I get to be watched as if I'm some kind of trouble maker,or someone who is lying about her disability. The nurse who is in charge of the nurses in that dept. actually got snotty with me and said, "the doctor will not change the results of the FC report". That was never a thought on my mind, my only perpose for calling that office was to let the doctor know it couldn't be right, and that it didn't correlate with his FC report from 2004 that said I can't work. It was for the Docs benefit, as the SSDI office will want to know why the reports don't correlate, especially since I am worse off now then I was in 2004 when the original report was filled out. The rehab office ran the FC test, and they did it incorrectly, as they should have never had me do those physical tasks in the first place according to my EDS specialist-----considering EDS and spine instability is a bad combination. One must be very careful with body mechanics, but I wanted to be complient, and I did the test anyway. I'm not supposed to lift more then 2 pounds----I shouldn't even lift my 9 pound dog. I asked the NP to have the doctor update the FC report from 2004, and this is when the FC exam was ordered in July 2006. If this NP had paid attention to my medical file---------seeing CERVICAL/CRANIAL INSTABILITY would be a clue that this type of exam could cause further injury to my spine. It is pretty sad that one has to have their SSDI approval based on mental illness---------------perhaps SSDI should be sued----after all, they are the ones that make people get to that point in the first place. Since I was stalked and treated so poorly----I have not been the same, and now I have terrible anxiety when I enter a medical facility---especially the facility this nurse works for. I have never felt so betrayed and wounded. Maxine

Thank you, I have also involved my congresswoman, and the state senators. I wrote the president as well. I was sent to one of the SSDI physicians who wrote that I was perfectly fine to work, and the information on his report was false----he lied throughout the report which resulted in the second denial----now I am at the hearing stage, and should be scheduled for some time this summer. I can say this with absolute confidence---first based on what I feel every day, and second, all the medical evidence from experts in my conditions. I would love to see what you wrote. I may write again to the senators office since there has been a change after the elections. They were of no help----and I was told they were investigating the slanderous report from the SSDI physician----but I never could get the guy in case work to call me back. I just feel paranoid now---and for good reason-----nothing like being stalked by a medical professional on a support web site forum--that's just plain creepy............. Thanks so much for your help--------------------------- Julie :0)

Thanks Sophia and Donna, I am trying to get support from my doctors already-----and of course my attorney and I are compiling all the medical evidence we can-------it's really pretty obvious I wouldn't be able to hold down a job, but you know how SSDI is. Then you have the functional capacity exam that said I'm able to do both physical and sedentary work, but then later recommended sedentary. the person who did the exam was nice, but not experienced with any of my conditions. I was not able to complete any of the tasks during the exam, and found it difficult to hold my body up in the little office chair they had me sit in between tasks---and this was a good day. My heart rate never went above 95 during the test, and my BP was never checked. My BP drops very low now, and my heart rate doesn't compensate. I get tachycardia sitting or standing---or even in my sleep, but it's not that high because I'm on beta blockers. My heart rate just runs high----or so I've been told by the RN who downloads my implantable cardiac loop recorder. I don't know if you remember my posting on all the hoopla with the nurse that stalked my postings on here, but when I called the docs office to let them know the results of the test can not be correct, and that it did not correlate with the Fc report the doc filled out in 2004----this is when I was verbally attacked by the nurse, and told if I can post on this web site---"all day long" then I can work!. Well I have a lap top------this enables me to post in bed now. My husband bought if for me because he knows I get sick from sitting up too long posting on a desk top. She has no clue what I go through every day just to do the basics---and she has no clue on what I have lost from my illnesses. So apparently at least one person from this Docs office has me pegged as someone trying to sham the SSDI system---and that I'm not as physically limited as I say I am----or what two other doctors are saying. One Doc was so livid that I was even put through this exam in the first place. All I will say is that the idea of this test did not originate from the Doctor, but he did sign the order for it-------------------------------------------- My attorney is aware of this, and said there is other evidence in my file from experienced physicians that will out weigh this incorrect report. I have had further injury to my spine because of this test. I have been told letters from friends or family can be helpful---especially since they see us more often, and see the day to day struggles we have just trying to do the basic things in life. For some reason my postings aren't going through in Disisissues. This has been since I have had my lap top. Same thing with WACMA--(world arnold chiari malformation association) group. Both are through e-mail---------frustrating..................... I am still receiving mail from both groups, however. So I'll check it out Sophia-- Maxine :0)

Hi, Tonight I talked with my Dad, and we were discussing how family members support people who file SSDI or SSI by writing letters on out behalf. I do belong to the Disinissues Group, and have some other links, but I had trouble finding this subject. He wants to know what he should write. He knows how bad off I am------basically his description was that I will be OK one minute, then I'm like a balloon who that suddenly loses air. We really didn't discuss my pain issues----that's pretty obvious. He and my Mom-and of course my husband are the ones who see me the most when I have these rapid decline spells, or the spells in which I start out with no juice at all in the first place, so I'm not good for much--------------perhaps a fairly decent conversation is all they'll get. They don't really understand all the complications with the low BP/tachycardia, EDS stuff, but have some understanding of my spine instability issues. I'm guessing they should probably write what they witness in regards to my limitations. i.e.--> how difficult family gatherings are for me, and that I can's last very long, and always have to leave early. He has seen so much, all the way from the beginning. He was so worried when they couldn't figure out what was worng, and I was in the ER one night. They had given me a drug for nausea even though I told them I didn't want it because of my bizarre reactions to drugs. I thought I was going crazy right after they gave me the drug, and I kept telling my Dad I want to be admitted to the psyc ward. It was the worst night in my life---I was so scared, and I think I scared my Dad. Feb 5th 2001---------that was the date, and to top things off the weather was crazy that day---going from 65 degrees to 10 in less then 12 hours. I'll spare you on the rest of the details..... Needless to say, he has witnessed a lot. I'm really tired and spaced out tonight----and I can't think straight. So if anyone knows of something quick to add---any ideas would be welcome. I never wanted to file SSDI in the first place, but ended up not having a choice. I'm really depressed about the whole thing---and just want my life back the way it was before I crashed. Anyway-forgive me if my post doesn't sound right------------I'm wiped out......ans i'm not sure how fmaily members should handle it when they want to write SSDI Maxine