How to get to Grocery Store

[Poohbear]

I am in need of any suggestions you guys might have. I live in the southeast U.S. and I live alone. I do belong to a church where some individuals are very supportive. My dilema is that I can't drive, where I live I don't have access to public transportation (such as a bus) and I can't afford taxi. Lately it's been increasingly difficult for me to find people from church who have the time and/or are willing to drive me places I need to go (such as the grocery store). I had one person who was very consistent but she is on vacation for 4-6 weeks. Plus, I'm really discouraged and wanting to be as independent from the church as possible.

My main problem is not being able to get to the grocery store. I've needed to go for almost a week now but people have been too busy or on vacation.

Has anyone else had this problem? Do you have any ideas of what I could do or who I could call for assistance? I have no family to help and I have no close friends that live near me; all of my "friends" here are from the church and things aren't working so great there right now.

I just don't know where to turn. Does anyone know if there are any programs that assist people with rides?

Thanks for any suggestions you may have and thanks for letting me vent too.

I get really scared sometimes being in the situation I'm in. I try not to complain and I will eat eggs and ramen noodles for a while but a week of it is getting kinda old.

[taylortotmom]

There are a couple of options for you. One is to order your groceries online. I've never done this but maybe some other friends out in cyberspace can enlighten us how to do this- I've heard it is really great. Another option is to contact your local Department of Human Resources (Human Services, etc.). There are plenty of programs out there (even in rural areas) to help people just like you who need help. If you qualify for Medicaid, you have even more options. Contact your local Home Health agency and they can steer you in the right direction. Start off with either of these two agencies and they will forward you on to someone who can help. Another agency is the Council on Aging. Pull out the yellow pages and look under Social Service agencies. Many places will take you to the store or even do your shopping for you. I'm a former social worker- what a good question!

Carmen

[dizzygirl]

Oh pooh bear.. I have been and am in your shoes right now.

I recently applied for a program for persons with disabilities, it is called the LIFT program, it is through the public transportation department (bus) they have the shuttle buses that will pick you up at your home and take to your appointment in the city, or to the store, mall, that kind of thing. you have to pay the same fare as if you were riding the city bus. and then you set up a pick up time, and they will pick you back up and take you home.

I live in Pa, and we have this program here in Erie.

You would want to call your city bus station and see if they offer any kind of program like this.

You will need to file a form. but it is relativly easy to sign up for.

that is the only thing that I can think of.

I was living alone, and am about to be living alone again, I know and understand how very hard it is, to get about when you have no car, and live in the boonies (LOL), and have no reliable transportation.

Oh, do you have a meals on wheels program in your area? they can deliver meals to you, possible for free depending on your income.

I wish you well poohbear, and hope that you can find some help soon!

[Laura]

Hi Poohbear! I'm not sure that I can help as I am in Canada, but here there are supermarkets that deliver. I use Co-Op and you can phone in an order or place an order on line at picndel.com. It costs 8$ for delivery and is so worth it! I don't know if you have Co-Op stores out there, but there must be stores that offer similar services? Can you phone a few stores in your area and ask? Carmen and dizzygirl have some great suggestions with the lift program and the Home Health, I hope you can get something arranged! So sorry that things have been tough for you. Laura

[Poohbear]

Thanks everyone for your suggestions so far.

I do get very frustrated especially because I live just outside a large metropolitan area. I'm not in city limits so I don't qualify for any city assistance and I can't afford to move within the city limits either. I had called the county I live in before and was told because I was not elderly I didn't qualify for any programs (even though I'm disabled and on Social Security).

There is only one online grocery store I found that will deliver in my area (again very frustrating considering what a large populated area I'm in) but their prices were so high and I'm on a really tight budget (for example...they wanted $2.17 for a SMALL can of tomato soup that I can buy in the store for LESS than $1). Then there were delivery charges on top of that.

A friend of mine called United Way in my area and they didn't know of any services in my area.

I think I will try Carmen's idea of calling my local Human Services Dept again and see what they say. I don't qualify for Medicaid but I do have Medicare. As far as I know though, Medicare doesn't pay for anything like this type of stuff. My only other thought was to try to get a case worker through the mental health system because I know when I lived in another state it was the case workers job to assist you with whatever you needed..not just mental health. So, in the past, when I lived in this other state my case worker would take me to the store, Dr appt...wherever I needed if she was available and she would come to the house like once a week and just "chat" and make sure everything was okay. My hold-up on that is that my Long Term Disability carrier is trying very hard to say my condition is partly mental (this is so they don't have to continue to pay after another year) so I don't want to have to go through the Mental health system and give them any "ammunition" to say this is mental.

UGGGHHHH!!! I don't know why they make it so hard for people to get basic help and again, it's especially frustrating outside a huge city. My experience is the smaller the town the more help there is but in a large city...forget it...some services won't cross any county line and NONE of my Dr's are in my county and there aren't many specialists in my county. Some of my Dr's are 30 miles away. Actually even the two closest grocery stores are not in my county either. I don't live in a rural area but I'm on the line of 3 different counties.

[Dawg Tired]

Poohbear, when I worked for a doctor's office we could call any of the home health agencies and request a "social worker consult". You might have to call your doctors office and ask them to do this or you might call the HHC agency and describe your situation.

The social worker from the agency would go to the patients home (Medicare paid for this!) and do an interview and from that help apply for all of the help that was available to them as far as homebound assistance, meals on wheels, housekeeping assistance and so forth. I think I would try calling a home health agency and maybe talking on the phone with one of their social workers - they know the ins and outs of everything available in your area.

[Lukkychrm42]

Not just online grocery stores, but also could you try calling a local store/market and ask them if they ever deliver. I know they used to a long time ago, haha! My grandmother does that. Also, I don't know if you're talking about a grocery store that's BASED online, but try going to the websites for the big chains and see if they deliver as well. Is there a delivery service in the area? A teenager nearby looking for a job? I don't really have experience with this myself, but there's gotta be something out there for you.

Also, what about shuttle services? I know where I used to live there was a call and ride program.. I don't know how much it costs, but I'm guessing it's more than a bus and less than a taxi.

If it's realistic, could you give money and a list to neighbors for when they go to the store? Then it's not really out of their way or yours..

I don't know! You're not the only one in this situation.. I'm sorry!! I hope you find something!!

[Sunfish]

so sorry you're having such a frustrating time with the ride situation. i've been there & know how taxing it is - physically, emotionally, mentally, financially...you name it. one of the toughest things about my health limitations is having to depend on others so much more than i like to. other than the things that have already been mentioned, i would osuggest possibly calling your local library to see if they have any ideas or any flyers in their entryway that would be of any help...i say this b/c i have found some info on various ride programs at the library, even some supposedly "sponsored by" the very agencies i had previously been told were only for the elderly. i would also press & press with anyone who tells you there are age requirements...sometimes the original person you talk to doesn't know the "behind the scenes" rules or the possibility of exceptions. hang in there & good luck...if i come up with any other flashes of insight i'll let you know asap!

:-)melissa

[MightyMouse]

Were you able to find any resources? I hope that you do because I know how isolating it can be...and frustrating.

Nina

[Poohbear]

Thanks for asking Nina!

I am really wiped out today so I'll share more later when I'm feeling stronger. To sum it up for now though, I literally spent the entire day yesturday from 8am to 4:30pm, with the exception of one hour, on the phone with various agencies. I did find a shuttle service but the problem with that is they drop you off and they said I would have to wait an hour to an hour and a half to be picked up again. This is a problem because I'm passing out enough that at least right now with the heat, I am not able to manage being alone trying to shop for over an hour.

Most agencies were cold and mean and just said they don't have any services for me and didn't know who did. Most of the time if they gave me a referral it was a "bad" one (in terms of they didn't offer what the other agency thought they did). The person who was the most helpful and at least compassionate was a private, home health company. Everyone says it sounds like I need a personal assistant (help run errands, cook, clean etc) but Medicare does not pay for this (they will only pay for skilled nurse and in-home aid (help w/ bathing, dressing, meal). Not ONE agency could tell me how to find a social worker...they just all said they didn't have one. Including the Dept of Family and Children's Services (they actually referred me to Adult PROTECTIVE Services stating that even though I wasn't being abused or neglected I fit their "profile" more closely--Ludicrous if you ask me!!). Not to mention, I called Adult Protective Serices three times and always got their answering machine (glad I didn't need any immediate protection huh?).

I'm still searching and am waiting on two people to call me back with the name and phone number of someone who does help people find info/referral sources.

The private home health is really what I need but it's $15 an hour with a 4 hour minimum plus I would also have to pay .33 cents a mile (which was also the case for the shuttle service).

It's been a tough road but it makes it harder when most of the people I spoke with were so cold and heartless on the phone and I had to really push them to help me. How do cold, heartless people end up working in agencies that are supposed to be helping people?

So far, this experience just seems to reinforce in me the fact that I am a burden on people and that the "system" could care less what happens to you. I kinda wish I could just curl up and die!!

[MightyMouse]

Don't let them take away your hope or sap your mental reserves! If they're that miserable to you on the phone, imagine how miserable they are in their own lives.

Since all the options you described are going to cost you something, have you considered maybe paying a neighbor a small fee to pick you up a few things when they go out?? Or a neighbor's teenage kid who needs a little extra gas money for the Summer?

Nina

[Miriam Poorman-Knox]

What about calling other churches? They have Stephens Ministers, this is exactly what you need. You could talk with the pastor and tell them that your regular resourse is out of town and there will be times that you need this help.

P.S. I went to see Dr. Goren Genetic Eye Spec. at UPmC and I told him I now have pots he sid really???? I said yepper. He asked alot of questions because he has a patient that has it and he has been trying to get her help. She is still at the Your a drug seeker stage etc.......Anyhow he doesn't usually prescribe blasses you must go to the optometrrist. But since I gave him do much information to help his patient who he was on his way to call, he gave me my prescription for my glasses!!

Yeah!!! Take care Miriam

[Dawg Tired]

Another idea - did you try the social services department at a local hospital? Sometimes they know the "back way" into these things!

[Guest Julia59]

Poohbear,

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles for your most basic needs. It's a shame that you can't get someone to help you from any of these agencies.

It's so shocking to me because I thought that's what they were there for----to help people in need. I still drive, but only around town---and accross town and surrounding area's. I wish I lived near you so I could help you out. I would take you there and we could split the list-----as we would both be able to handle half---huh----

I like that idea about a neighbor possibly helping----a teenager with a need for some gas money. My son was the grocery store master when I couldn't go when my husband was woking a lot of hours to make up for my missing income.

He was so fast, and always got everything on the list. He used to work for that grogery store and knew where everything was. Perhaps a young man or woman in your neighborhood works for a grogery store------

Keep trying-----I hope you get some help with this soon.

Julie :0)

[Michelle Sawicki]

Another thing you might want to try is the reference department of your local library. We match people to services all the time at the one I work at.

Michelle

[Dawg Tired]

I really understand the frustration too well - my next door neighbor has a lady from Senior Services come in once a week. She cleans his house and cooks his breakfast and lunch. He drives, raises a big garden, is always building something and has a part time job. But he is 74 and therefore qualifies for "Senior Services". I can't even find anyone I can pay to come in once or twice a week to clean house. Driving? Gardening? Working? HUH!

[Poohbear]

Ok...bear with me while I have my "Fantasy moment". In my dream world we would all move to one state in one community/county. It could kinda be like a college campus only with houses instead of dorms. We would have the support of each other. Our spouses & family would also have good support. We would be able to take the best of the best Dr's and they would work in this community. Just outside of the campus perimeter there would be Grocery stores, Walmart, a huge mall, restaurants, movies etc. Everything would be within like a 5-10 mile radius. We would have a shuttle bus, wheelchairs...whatever people needed. Then, because we were centrally located we could force the agencies to assist us when we needed and we would qualify as an organization for grant assistance to not only get us the services we need but to teach and educate everyone else and we could raise enough for lots of research money to try to find effective management if not a cure!!!!!

Sounds like a great dream to me!! Anyone ready to move to make it happen

Ahhhhh....if only it were that easy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for letting me share my dream

[Madwife]

he he I'll come sounds great to me Poohbear...just need to find a way now to tolerate the flight over there! Maybe all the floors could be made of rubber so that when we all start falling down it would a least cushion our falls and bounce us right back on up!!! Hmm...think I'm dreamin now!

Ok...bear with me while I have my "Fantasy moment". In my dream world we would all move to one state in one community/county. It could kinda be like a college campus only with houses instead of dorms. We would have the support of each other. Our spouses & family would also have good support. We would be able to take the best of the best Dr's and they would work in this community. Just outside of the campus perimeter there would be Grocery stores, Walmart, a huge mall, restaurants, movies etc. Everything would be within like a 5-10 mile radius. We would have a shuttle bus, wheelchairs...whatever people needed. Then, because we were centrally located we could force the agencies to assist us when we needed and we would qualify as an organization for grant assistance to not only get us the services we need but to teach and educate everyone else and we could raise enough for lots of research money to try to find effective management if not a cure!!!!!

Sounds like a great dream to me!! Anyone ready to move to make it happen 

Ahhhhh....if only it were that easy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for letting me share my dream 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Ernie]

Hi,

I would move to the States as long as I have good health insurance!!!!

Ernie

[goldicedance]

Poohbear...Have you checked with "Meals on Wheels"? Perhaps they could help out by delivering meals. Just a thought! Wish I could help out!

[DancingLight]

poohbear,

have you been able to get some groceries or are you still living on ramen noodles?

i'm a little late here to add a little note of support...

i read your post and felt my heart sink. i live with my mom and am completely homebound. she does everything and my worst fear is what will happen to me if/when she cannot do all of these things for me. my heart ached for you and i just was so there with you.

i think everyone had great suggestions, and you seem to have checked into all the avenues. i wish i had more ideas and that our society was better equipped to deal with poeple with disabilities. i hate too that when you are at your worst you have to spend the whole day trying to navigate the systme and deal with rude people. it is so exhausting. even when the services are available they make them hard to get!

we tried getting help when i got out of the hospital and had a horrible time. we ended up doing it all on our own. my poor mom was so burned out trying to navigate it all while being up with me all night long every night.

right now i am realizing that i need to find help and hire someone to help me 'keep up' as i am always completely overwhelmed and can't keep up. it's hard to have other people in the house and all, but i think i still need it.

anyway, just sending you hugs...and some virtual groceries!

later alligator!

em

[Poohbear]

Thanks so much to everyone for your ideas, support and empathy on this issue!!!! The update is #1 I did get to the grocery store last tuesday so I haven't eaten eggs or ramen noodles since . #2 I called many many many services and agencies and churches in the area. Basically I fall through the cracks. I make too much money for most of the assistance programs but yet they won't take into account I have large monthly medical costs. I have to depend on volunteers (which seem very difficult to find) or I have to pay a service to come help me.

So.....I think I am going to stop paying my COBRA insurance coverage which will leave me with Medicare only. This is a scary thought however, the premium is $350 a month and they aren't paying much out. Because it's not a Medicare Supplement policy I'm still being billed all of my co-pays and I really can't afford the $350 a month plus with co-pays etc. I'm still being billed over $100 a month. I won't have prescription coverage. Medicare will start offering some coverage in January although from what I've seen most of the meds I would take are not on their approved list and I make too much to qualify for drug assistance.

I can certainly appreciate that my situation could be much worse than it is AND at the same time it's frustrating because I do need some assistance and basically I have to be below poverty level to get any of those services but yet, if I get to that point I don't know if I'll ever be able to climb back out of that hole.

Anyhow, if I cancel the COBRA then I could hire someone maybe twice a month to assist me in whatever errands I needed help with.

Possibly I'm about to go through some major life transitions so in the moment I feel like my life is very chaotic (I've had my house on the market for a while and I will hopefully know by the end of the day if I have a contract on it or not). I just researched all the agencies for the county I live in and if I move it will be in about 30 days and I will have to deal with another county.

Meanwhile, I'm exhausted but I can't sleep (my hormones act up with my cycles and I go through about a week where I don't sleep well at night at all no matter how tired I am). Great! Just what I need....to be so fatigued and exhausted when I have to possibly make choices about selling my house and what to do next.

Thanks again everyone!! You really make my life better by being there for me and by truly understanding what living with this is like

[Roselover]

Pooh,

I'm sending you a virtual pot of honey -- you need some time in a quiet thinking spot!

My Winnie the Pooh was my very best friend when I was growing up. My mom made him and every couple of years he would be so loved thin that he would have to get a new skin for Christmas. Then he would go off and have an operation and come out with his new skin on! He went everywhere with me except to school and he knew all my secrets. I had six eye surgeries between the ages of 1 and 9 and he went to everyone one of them with me!!!!

You have commited friends here too - just like Pooh was to me. We may not be able to help with the actual grocery buying - though we would if we were near - but we are here for your transitions and difficiult changes. We have good listening ears like Piglet!

Keeping you in my thoughts,

Roselover

[MightyMouse]

Would you benefit at all by using some of your 350$ cost savings from cutting COBRA to pay for supplemental insurance?

Nina

[Poohbear]

Roselover,

Thanks for your kind words of encouragement! I'm glad you've had a poohbear throughout your childhood! I love piglet too...I really love all the Pooh characters.

Nina,

Because I am under the age of 65 there are virtually no companies out there that will write a supplemental medicare policy for me. I only found one company that will even consider writing a supplemental policy and they said that because I have a pacemaker and because I have been in the emergency room so many times they won't even take an application.

He said most likely I won't find a policy because of the pacemaker (at least until I'm 65 or older) but if I do find a company, I have to stay completely away from hospital or emergency room for at least one year and I certainly have not been able to do that.

I stay in touch with the States Dept of Insurance; they will counsel me and advise me if any company decides to write a supplemental policy for those disabled under 65. I may have one option open up for me when I move as long as I stay in that county but I don't know if it will be worth it because I think they require you stay in their network and I really have no choice but to stay with the Cardiologist I have.