So Very Tired And Sick

[all4family]

I know that sounds awful, but I am just so tired. My days are running into each other, and I have constant confusion. I go on the computer to read, and just end up staring at the screen. I don't even want to get up to go to the bathroom. I feel like my head is a tomato being squeezed. I have tried to find a doctor, but by the time I get the list, and call one or two that never are taking patients, I feel to exhausted to try again. I don't feel like I sleep. I just go in and out of conciousness. Every once in a while I will have a half hour or so that I feel pretty ok. By the time I go to the bathroom, or try to see my family I am done. Do you ever wish someone would just take care of you? I'm sure you guys all know what I mean, and I am sorry for rambling. It is all I seem to be able to do right now. I hope all of you are doing well, and really appreciate the support I always recieve on here. Sorry for all the wine......would anyone like cheese? I just wanted to say hi. I hope you all are doing well. Take Care,

Suzy

[janiedelite]

HUGS.....

[erikainorlando]

I know exactly what you are saying. I just usually want my boyfriend to hold me and tell me it will be ok. He does at times but it really isn't ok and doesn't go away....I think that is it...it never goes away...but I have heard success stories so I guess we just keep pushing on...

....somedays I am in acceptance and some days I am not...today was not an acceptance day...

but your post made me feel alittle less alone!

Erika

[Brye]

I wish I had someone to take care of me but even more I wish I had a live in nanny to help me with my kids!! Sometimes they suck all the energy out of me but they're also probably the reason I get out of bed and get dressed every day. I'm so thankful to my husband who has a good job and can support us all. That has been one of my saving graces!! I don't think he quite understands POTS but it's a difficult thing to understand unless you're the one living it. My 7 year old keeps asking me when I"ll be able to play basketball with him. I'm holding out hope that some day I will!!! There's my whine for the day! Good luck in your doctor search and hope you get some help!!

Brye

[ladyt]

hi..

its not easy being cronicall ill.. Somethimes i ust whant to scream, i ust dont have the shtrengt... hope it helped to wine some.. it helps me..

[firewatcher]

I can't tell you how many times I have wished that I was 6 again! I just want to go home and have EVERYTHING taken care of. You are not alone...I'll take some cheese and bring some Gatorade. Together we'll have a pity party...as long as it is catered.

[potsgirl]

Suzy,

Boy, can I relate about the sleep. It takes me awhile to fall asleep, and then I feel like I just get fragments of sleep all night. I wake up around 3:30 - 5, and I just can't fall back to sleep again. So here I am this morning, with a cup of coffee, writing on the Forum at 5:30 in the morning. Yuck. David is having prostate surgery this Friday, so I know stress is playing a big part in this recently. His cancer is pretty bad, worse than originally anticipated, so it's a major stress zone around here right now. I just hope I can take care of him adequately during recovery! Sorry, that's my whine for today.

I hope that you find a suitable doctor, and that you start the climb out of the hole again soon. You've had enough!

Hugs,

Jana

[Broken_Shell]

Hi Suzy,

Hugs, Hugs, Hugs, and prayers for strength. I understand how you are feeling, and I hope that things will start to make a turn for the better for you soon. I just have a few thoughts... are you receiving disability? If so, you may be eligible for in-home personal care for a limited amount of hours per week. I am looking into this for myself right now. It might even be something that your insurance would cover if you have a doctor write an order for it. Are you looking for a new primary care doctor or a specialist? I will try to write you back about the kinesiotape as soon as I can. In the meantime, just feel all of us caring for you with our hearts and don't be afraid to ask your family and friends for help with your body.

~ Michelle (Broken_Shell)

[all4family]

Good Morning Everyone! I am so happy to say that I feel pretty good this morning! I don't know how long it will last, but I used it to try and do something good for myself. I have a juicer, and I made a healthy fruit and veggie juice for breakfast! I have been unable to eat hardly at all, and this made me feel pretty good, and gave me some energy! As always I can't be greatful enough for the support here! I just know you guys have something to do with me feeling better!!!

Thank you Thankful! Hugs back!

Erika, I am glad my post helped you feel less alone. I feel less alone now too!! Sorry you had a "unexcepting" day also.

Brye, I know what you mean about the nanny. My kids are older, so they can be a lot of help, but I have a lot of guilt because I want to be the ones taking care of them. I used to be the kind of mom who always had somewhere to go with my kids, now I just can't. Although I push myself sometimes, and end up sorry. I feel like my kids keep me going too. Thank you for the support.

Casper, I get the scream thing!!! I guess we will just have to scream in our minds lol!!!!

Firewatcher, aahhhhhh....to be 6 again! Gatorade and cheese here we come!! Thank you for the support!

Jana, (((((HUGS))))) I am sorry for the stress with your boyfriend. I will be praying for all to go well. I sure hope you can get some better sleep. It's funny, because when we need it the most is when we seem to get it the least! Please take care of yourself too.....I know for myself when my family is sick I push myself too hard, because I want to give them what they have given me. But remember that you can't give anything if you don't take care of yourself. Thank you for the support.

Michelle, no I dont recieve disability. They say my husband makes too much money. (funny it doesn't feel like it to me!)But maybe my insurance would cover it. I would just have to have a doctor. Then have that doctor not think I should just be able to "get" over it. I am looking for a primary care doctor. I do have a cardiologist, but he just manages my heart valve issues. Although I like him, he is the only one who believed me before I had a diagnoses. He was the one who suggested I go to Mayo. Thank you for all the heart felt caring. It is amazing what kind words can do for someone. I hope you have luck with finding someone. Let me know if you do ok.

Well the good wore off, but luckily not before I finished this. Thank you all so much, and take care of yourselves. I hope you all have a good day today!

Hugs, and thanks,

Suzy

[bjt22]

Late to the game, but I just want you to know that I totally understand where you're coming from. I've been very lucky in that my husband has always been great, but he's always had to work, too. For years I suffered all kinds of angst over not being able to do what I know needed doing. I still do...but, kids grow up, and even though I really can't do any more, I feel as if I have some breathing room now. Peace of mind, too, in knowing that what I've been through hasn't totally wrecked my children.

As to doctors? I really feel for you there. I've been very lucky. Even having good doctors, though, I've long since come to terms with the fact that trying to get much done through the medical community is enough to lead one to insanity. I always want to tell them "if I felt like going here, doing that, seeing this person or that person, or having all of these new tests, etc., well, then I wouldn't NEED them." The problem is I don't feel like doing all of those things.