Social Situations

[gertie]

How do you do in social gatherings? Does it make you sick or do you enjoy it? I have had to stop all unnecessary events that puts me in contact with a lot of people. I have always been a people person until Dys. I had to go to the funeral of a relative yesterday. I thought I handled it well until I got home & had to collapse for the rest of the day. I was sick all night. Everytime I would almost fall asleep I would wake shaking. Each time I thought I was going to have a seizure. Today I don't have the energy to move. I've been sick about 25 yrs & thought I should be able to handle things better than this. Thanks for your comments.

[carinara]

Hi alicia, i really hope that you feel better today. Being at a funeral of a relative is the worst situation i can think of. To be honest, i sometimes thought about how i could handle something like that, and i have no idea, the emotional stress wouldnt allow me to stand up at all, my HR would go out of the roof.

Since having POTS i cant be as spontanious as i used to be. In fact, every time i have to go to a social gathering its well planed. I only go to"necessary " events. (Birthdaypartys, Christmaspartys ...)

I have to make sure, that i sit ALL THE TIME. In order to talk to people i have to make sure that i dont talk to loud (because of dizziness) and i can hardly eat more then a few bites, because otherwise my tachy starts. I usually eat a tiny meal before i leave the house so i can just concentrate on talking to people whilest iam on a social gathering. Sometimes i enjouy it and at other times it makes me sick so i have to get out of the situation to lay down somewhere.

I wouldnt got out in during the week when i have to work the next day. Thats to much for me to handle.

I got so used to being like this, that even though i cant just stand around like others or dance and so on....i try to make the best out of it. Most of the time, people dont even notice that something is "wrong" with me and i dont tell them either, i just sit there all night and if they think i am boring because i dont move and dont drink, i just smile at them.

I honestly think that having to go to a funeral is the worst case, so if you go to a more positive gathering next time i hope that it will make you feel better.

All the best

carinara

[potsgirl]

Alicia,

I have had to stop going to any social function that occurs in the evening. I can do dinner as late as 5:30, but need to be home by 7:00 pm or so, or else I get absolutely exhausted. I go to bed at 7:30 - 8:00, read, and am asleep by 8:30 or 9:00. Of course then I'm awake at 5:30 or 6:00 in the morning. Ugh. I try to do lunches and other social events during the day, but I really miss going to plays and other things that occur in the evening! It's really cut down on my social life...That, and not knowing day-by-day if I'll have the energy to even make it to lunch...I hope you're feeling much better today~

Peace,

potsgirl

[Rachel]

Hi Alicia,

I'm sorry yesterday was a rough day. I hope you'll be feeling a little better tomorrow. Going out for a funeral is a much harder social situation than a fun outing. The emotions and stress of a funeral can be enough to make your ans symptoms flare. Add onto that the physical toll that going out can take, and that can be really hard.

I've had very few outings as stressful and emotionally exhausting as a funeral can be. Usually my outings are for fun. I crash afterward, but I enjoy outings as I'm able. If at all possible I stay in one place at the party/gathering/event/service/whatever it may be. If I'm at a friend's house, they always save a recliner or big comfy chair for me. My husband or a friend gets a plate of food and drinks for me so that I don't have to go through a line. If I need to move around, then I use my wheelchair. Usually my husband or a friend pushes me around.

Earlier this week I went to a 2 hour event in the evening. My husband dropped me off and helped me to get set up (he then had to leave because this was just for women). A friend met me there soon after so I wasn't alone if I were to need help with something. I was not able to sit up for the whole program, so I spent about half an hour lying down on the floor. It wasn't the most comfortable floor, but lying down enabled me to make it through the evening and be with others.

I'm sure I look pretty silly sometimes when I'm out. I've gotten to the point, though, that I'm not very bothered by just lying down wherever I happen to be. It's nice when a sofa is available, but if one isn't I'm not too proud to use the floor. I do crash later from sensory overload and fatigue, but I find that it is worth it sometimes just for that chance to get out and be with others.

Rachel

[valliali]

actually, my first symptom was a social anxiety. which was CRAZY because i have always been an incredibly huge people person. like my friends used to tell me that i needed to run as congresswoman because i was so great at shmoozing it up. then it was like out of the blue, i started feeling really anxious in social situations, i would turn red, etc. this whole thing came on so suddenly for me, which was shocking in itself, but definitely the change it made to me socially was the greatest shock of all. i think that social situations can simply overstimulate me, and my stress hormones go nuts. i have found a low dose of inderal to not only help my heart rate, but has almost completely given me my "real" personality back. i just wish i had found it two years ago!!

[Csmith3]

Hope you are starting to feel better.

These sorts of social situations have so many triggers for me. Unlike a lot of people on the forum, I can walk around for some time and I'll be OK. But standing still is a disaster, and social situations usually involve a lot of standing around. Whilst I would ordinarily sit down for a break after a few minutes, I tend to stand for longer in these situations, perhaps feeling it is too rude to cut someone short and disappear for a sit down.

Then social situations so often involve alcohol, which I can't really do without making myself ill. So I end up stuck with whatever the non-alcoholic drink is, which is usually something I'm not keen on (like some crazy migraine-inducing mixture of fruit juices), so I end up dehydrated. Added to this is the warm room, bright lights etc and it's just a recipe for being ill. As I deteriorate, I stop talking as it's just too much effort, the brain fog kicks in and I'm concentrating on staying upright. People start commenting that I've gone quiet and I just get fed up and go home.

When I get home and sit down I realise how bad I feel and it takes at least a day to get back to normal. So I avoid these sorts of events (realise you can't with a funeral), which seems like a shame but I think it's for the best. I don't see any easy way to handle it unless it is a sit down event. Sometimes I limit the time I'm going to be there to make it more manageable, both physically and mentally. If the event is in a hotel, I have been known to book a room for the day and then disappear every so often to have a lie down to recuperate!

[all4family]

Hi,

I don't do many social events anymore, because of just the reason you said. Though you can't really avoid a funeral. I find if I start feeling bad, I go to the bathroom, (somewhere no one really wants to know what you were doing.) and I find a place to sit, and get comfortble, and lean forward for a bit, and just the time getting away from the sensory overload helps quite a bit. I hope you are feeling much better now.

and Rachel I just wanted to say I love the picture you have for your posts. What a positive picture of a family with a mom in a wheelchair. It gives me more confidence!