lieze

I am an LPN and I don't feel comfortable with anything I just read about the conduct of the staff in the above story. I have also had difficulty when I have called and tried to communicate with doctor's office nurses regarding residents in our nursing home. I have been treated with less than desirable diplomacy. Maybe they get too disconnected from their patients because of the distance of contact? There really is no excuse. I would not be comfortable having a nurse practitioner diagnose me or prescribe anything at this point but that is just me. I would prefer to see a doctor. lieze

Wow you've lived with this for a long time I'd say you've done a great job! I'm experiencing the same thing you are. I am trying to ride out as much as I can with this but I do have Xanax that I keep on hand at all times. I take a very tiny dose if I feel like I am too wired or the situation is too much for me and it works wonders, takes all of those weird feelings away. For that reason it makes me feel that that's all it is are feelings and gives me a bit of security. I am trying as hard as I can to temper any excitement. To stay very calm in situations because like you say instead of squeezing out just a little adrenaline we do it to a point that it is debilitating. I have also noticed when I am calm so is my heart. It doesn't do any of the flipping around skipped beats etc etc. It is my panic and anxiety that send my body haywire at this point for the most part so if I can control the anxiety hopefully my heart will relax too. I live with the same fears you do that what if I just get in a bad situation and it becomes the end for me, I just go down? I guess I have no answer for that only what I have happen over and over that I feel so incredibly bad-it's like they can't get me to ER fast enough only to within a 20 minute time period feel okay again. I have to tell my self that's not heart failure. Heart failure does not go away that fast or come and go like I experience. So my goal is upright and calm as much as possible. I would be happy to travel this road with you. To check in periodically and see how we're doing with our anxiety-you seem like a pro. The Xanax if you get a script might give you that little bit of extra confidence you need. I would never encourage you to take it every day as it can be highly addictive. It's more the peace of mind it gives you knowing it is in your purse and then being able to take in the occasional times where you do feel like things are getting out of control. For example for whatever reason one time I picked up fast food and ate a shredded chicken sandwich and a chocolate shake. Bad mistake. My heart rate instantly went up to 130 and would not come down. I was very uncomfortable. I took 1/2 my Xanax and within 20 minutes my heart rate came down to 90 and I felt much better. I'm all for waiting it out if that's at all possible but there is no reason to be in misery either. If you find something that works whether it is a palliative measure or a medication I am all for using it. lieze

I'm contemplating the same thing here only I feel half excited about it. I previously worked in a nursing home as an LPN and it is pretty much a dead end job unless you go onto school or something. I know it's not cool to disclose what you make but since I'm not doing it anymore I made 40,000/year working 3 days a week and every other weekend. The job had it's ups and downs for one thing it is exhausting you run from the time you get there til the time you get home so even pre POTS I was worn out and didn't have a lot left for my family. Also the depressing factor everyone there is declining and dying it started to get to me after a while and I just think that while I put my time in there it would be nice to do something else for part of my life, not just have that be the sum of my working experience. Also the germs. We have had a lot of MRSA or people with colonized MRSA in our building. One nurse with asthma actually got it and died very quickly with pneumonia. So there is that whole factor that you are continually exposing yourself to sick people and bringing that home to your family. I can't tell you how many times I brought the flu home to my family or a bad upper respiratory. We even had that norovirus go through a year or so back and the whole facility was pretty much quarantined. It's actually how I ended up with POTS so it may just be a sore spot for me. I was taking care of a lady with shingles which I had done for years but this time I got the virus and ended up with chicken pox. Everything went down hill for me from there. I was slightly unhappy with my job for years but it was like how do I walk away from such a decent paying job for what? Well I guess I shouldn't put so much emphasis on money? I don't know but in this world what are we supposed to do? But now that I have been away for a bit just working the every other weekend I can see how horrible my job truly was and I have no desire to go back to that. So what do I do? I've actually been praying about it. I think I have a bit of time here about 2 1/2 years til I have all kids in school, and then I might need to make a decision. I think more of a sit down job would be nice. All of that running really got to me over the years, I don't mind some exercise but even now I can't take that running all over the building. Try not to let the age thing bother you so much, look at it like regrouping if you want. I have been happy for this time of reflection. I'm not sorry that I chose the career I did I just would like to take it in another direction if possible. lieze

I think sometimes if doctors get too busy this kind of stuff can happen. Since he is so good wouldn't it be great if he would expand his practice and train some other doctors under him so that they can provide quality care to more people, maybe less wait time to get in and see him. His practice has to be booming if you have to wait that long to see him. No offense to nurse practitioners or physician's assistants but with something as serious as POTS I would prefer to see a physician. lieze

Thanks for that information Julie. So are we just using up all our serotonin then with the POTS? I have noticeable depression since developing the POTS and sometimes notice that it accompanies days of symptoms, I'll feel the mood drop first and then the next couple days be more symptomatic. This has me curious. Other times I feel pretty upbeat and symptom free for the most part. Also just notice the uncontrollable urge to cry-especially if I am in a full blown episode like my episode in Walmart where I had to just sit on the floor because I just felt so floaty? I was like Lucy in one of those episodes where she just opens her mouth and bawls-totally out of control. But I just got ahold of myself and decided not to cry but the strong urge was there. So glad you got your meds byteme what a nightmare that must have been. lieze

Yes there are times when I cannot tolerate lying on my left side at all. I get pressure and it becomes so intense I just can't stand it any longer and have to change positions. I know it's frustrating to be limited to your back or right side but I don't see that we have a choice. I do notice sometimes in the early morning hours say 4-5 am I can tolerate it. It may have something to do with acid reflux. lieze

Erika I just called and spoke with the chaplain at your hospital. They are willing to stop in and see you if you could let me know your room number I would be happy to call back. I told them your story and they are just waiting for my call. lieze

You can bet if we were close we would be there with you holding your hand so you were not alone in this. I know how awful it is and how it's so hard to get anyone to listen to what you're feeling. Is there clergy in the hospital? They might get involved and advocate for you. Let them know how alone you feel and frightened. There should be someone there or at least on call 24 hrs per day. If I knew the number of the hospital I would call myself and see if we couldn't get something initiated for you. There is no reason for you to be alone right now. lieze

Does anyone else wake up in the night with these. I've been rather lucky that they have seemed to taper off but especially right after my ablation I was having them quite often. I found a site of the internet with a whole group of people that were experiencing these. I did wear a king of hearts monitor and captured one. My cardiologist said it was nothing just regular tachycardia. I'm not sure what triggers it. When I had the monitor on my heart rate would go up to about 130 most of the time. Sometimes a little higher but average was 130. I don't think it's the speed of the heart rate that is so upsetting it's the feel. It's like a palpitation with a twist it feels as if the heart is off balance when it happens and it is quite frightening. I also experience lightheadedness with it and that is uncomfortable. I found that by sleeping with my torso elevated it eliminated them. Also it seems drinking a cold glass of water helps. I think some people said standing up and walking around helps, but who knows if we are just doing things while it passes and it makes it easier than just sitting there waiting. I do know it seems to be positional. That a change in position is needed and maybe I'm just so out of it asleep I would notice the discomfort and move but since I don't my heart is screaming roll over! Well I had another one last night and it was as terrifying as all of them. They always induce terror in me. I called for my husband and he stayed right by my side until it passed so that was a good feeling. I knew I had someone that could call for me if I did pass out but thank you Jesus I never have it is just an awful feeling that accompanies them. I am thankful I am okay. I thank God for everyday he has given me since this all started. I don't want to make it sound as if I am only complaining. It is scary and I feel a bit moody -on edge today and depressed but I'm hoping to just go on with the day. And it does make me afraid to go to sleep at night, my husband had to leave for an out of town trip so I'll just prop myself way up tonight to avoid another one and try not to eat too close to bed. lieze

I hope everything is okay. I'm so sorry this happened. lieze

I'm thinking Paxil is a vasodilator rather than a vasoconstrictor does anybody know if I'm wrong about this? Either way if it helps I wouldn't want to discontinue it either.

When I'm feeling really bad and take my blood pressure and I get 92/50 pulse 80 I think OMG I'm going to live to be 100 and still be dealing with this crap! lieze

This is exactly why I am afraid to start the Paxil. I read about the awful withdraw symptoms on the internet. It seems the pharmaceutical company that created it knew about this but maybe tried to hide it? When my general practitioner wrote me the script she warned me I might have to be on it for life. I thought I was willing to try it but could never work up my nerve after I read it could cause orthostatic hypotension and I already start to get the tunnel vision, go black at times when I would stand and start to walk so I definitely did not want to start anything that would possibly make that worse especially when I got a heightened orthostatic response after trying buspar that sent me to ER. I guess if it is working for you I would want to continue it. I would suggest you try just walking into ER explain the situation and see if they can't just renew your script for 30 days and then try to find a doctor that will renew it for you. Might also try I have a nurse therapist that works under a doctor who is able to prescribe meds. You might try that route, someone you can talk to about your feelings that is licensed to order meds. Chances are they are going to want to keep you stable and be happy to fill your script for you. Mine only is frustrated because she says I am the most anxious patient she has and I refuse to take anything she wants to give, so ours is the opposite problem. I would encourage you to see her but she is in Ohio, too far probably to travel, but she's a very compassionate person. Maybe you can find someone similar in your area. lieze

I have a tendency to walk around during my symptoms too and it doesn't make sense. I've often questioned if I feel that badly why don't I sit down or lay down? Many of mine hit at 10 am just like clock work. I made 3 trips to ER or called ambulance during that time when my symptoms were very intense, I never had any medical intervention besides an IV. All of my lab tests come back normal. The only thing I ever found was bp dropping or blood sugar dropping. I had the reactive hypoglycemia for a while but thank goodness that has passed. Also the tachycardia and SVT's. No more SVT's thank goodness since the ablation. But the dozen or so I had were enough. For some reason it seems like drinking cold water helps me. And I don't know maybe it's just something to do while I wait for the feelings to pass. lieze

This is how I feel too. I was told I probably have hyperadrenergic POTS. I do get dizzy though both things spinning feeling off balance and lightheaded usually not at the same time. But have them check your serum catecholamine levels. lieze

Wow mvdula, We have so much in common. Almost everything is the same. I also have anxiety and panic. Part of why I was able to do better was I started to believe I was okay, and that my anxiety is what was causing some of my symptoms. Most times when my heart starts skipping around it's because I have myself all worked up. This was different I was feeling great and boom it hit me out of nowhere but this feeling was like I was on the bottom of a pool trying to push my cart through the water not getting enough air either. lieze

Deb, I have a lot of the same symptoms that you do. I have not been diagnosed yet either. Please give us an update after your appointment and let us know how it went. lieze

The last two days I seemed to almost be symptom free? I actually felt normal Sunday and I hadn't felt that good in a long time. I really hadn't felt any shortness of breath or that tightening up like I do for almost a week? Well I took on my grocery shopping full speed ahead and sure enough half way through the store I got POTSY. It was like darn how silly could I be to think I was better? It was like just hitting a brick wall-had to slow down even stop and just stand still til my body caught up. And got the strong pressure in my bowel like if I could just use the bathroom it would relieve my symptoms. I made it through the store okay but on the way home then for whatever reason I got the tensing up in my chest that I get that makes it hard to breathe. I'm just wondering what types of things we can do to recondition ourselves, any tips? lieze

I am finding that I do feel worse when I eat certain things. The pasta thing is making sense. I had Johnny Marzetti the other night and here I thought maybe it was the tomato sauce. I'm thinking more it was the pasta. I know right when my POTS was peaking I ate some spaghetti and the after effect was horrible. Like dial 911 I thought I was going down.

Deb, My mom has had diabetes since she was 21? So she has had a chronic disease that she has lived with. She is having a lot of difficulty with her blood sugars and twice while we were staying there she had hypoglycemia. Her behavior about her own disease is not normal. She continued to take her blood sugars obsessively and I think over medicate herself with insulin causing her blood sugars to go too low. It maybe unfair for me to say this I have not been involved with her diabetes management but both my dad and I felt since she was swinging so low she should really back off a bit on the insulin but she wouldn't. She made a comment at the breakfast table the one morning to my Dad that I overheard that she thought I was just jealous of her, which made me just want to scream. I never addressed it. One night that I went there to stay after I had left because I did finish out a month's work before I backed my hours down and my parents had agreed to watch the kids. My mom had went to bed and only about an hour after falling asleep my dad ran and woke me up. My mom was having a seizure. Her blood sugar was only 29. We gave her glucagon and called the squad. She refused to stay in the hospital. I called into work the next day because either way she shouldn't be watching kids. Her comments and behavior the next day were very strange. She said anybody that has been a diabetic as long as she has would welcome death. When her pastor called she told him she thought it would be okay if she died so she could be "first" I had no idea what she was talking about thinking she would be first. I guess this would be referred to as bargaining. But her pyschological state to me seemed to be in question. I also thought it was a blessing and time that I cut back on my work hours as far as them having that responsibility went for childcare. It seemed she didn't need the stress even if it was something she enjoyed. Her comments to me about my own health were not normal or rational to me. She made comments about my own mortality when I expressed fear because I really didn't know what was going on at the time. She told me well we're all going to die. Didn't blink an eye. It hurt me so badly as her own daughter that I felt I was close to death and she didn't seem to be able to show normal emotion for her own child. I thought it's just going to happen and then maybe she will believe me. I got pictures in my mind of her sitting there at my funeral just like a stone. Not even shedding a tear and offering to pay off one of my debts a ring I had bought for myself; turning around during the service and telling my husband we'll pay for her ring. It hurt me so bad and still does. Because of that awful vision I had. I took what money I did have in my bank account and paid off the ring to take that thought out of my mind. I couldn't bare it. Once again I'm just shutting down and not able to continue this. I am so happy I am feeling better that is my only blessing. I feel like I have lost everything. I know that maybe I am not seeing the whole picture. I still have my life and the lives of my children, my parents, my husband. My life even though it was not perfect seems to be gone at the moment. Now they are targeting me at work if you have seen my other post and gossiping about me with one of the topics being that I am crazy. I can hardly take it. I have been at my workplace for 18 years and it meant a lot to me. I have cut back my hours to only 24 a month and it seems that people aren't even satisfied with that. They want to take my dignity too. How long do you fight before you just give up? I feel like I could just have a mental breakdown here and I have so much to be thankful for. Why is this happening now when I am showing signs of recovery. Why is life beating me like this? lieze

Well it got really bad at my parents. I did not feel I was able to go back to work, but my mom stood with her hands on her hips and said I had to. So much went on during that time. I had left my home with my children and fled to my parents because we discovered mold. It really is too much to go into, but my husband took his time in getting the house fixed. My parents actually accused me of taking advantage of them. My heart was broken. I tried to remind them I was sick but it didn't do any good. I was still trying to work until my father basically called me an unfit parent and told me even if I did get my house fixed he wasn't letting me have my children. At that point I left my parents house. I went to my in laws and husband moved in with us there until we could move home. Since my parents were my childcare I chose at that point to just cut my hours back to every other weekend. I simply did not want to have to deal with them. I don't feel like I'm sharing everything but getting overwhelmed here. It has been a nightmare. I was so scared and no one seemed to care. lieze

I did find out more today about this. I guess it is the nursing assistants I worked with that day that accused I did not do my med pass. I did it just prepared my meds while sitting in the office so I wouldn't wear out. I do not think I can tolerate standing at a med cart for two hours. So I sat in the office and prepared the meds and then took them to the patients. Since I did not have my cart in the hall it seems as if they think I did not pass any pills. The other comment they made about me is that I am crazy. They are saying this because I have suffered there with POTS for the last year. And even made two calls to the squad from work. Before obviously I got someone to take my place. So since I look okay and they do not understand POTS they have deemed me crazy. So I feel a little better a little worse. I am not crazy, and I am not normally assigned a shift where I have a med pass so I guess I could call my boss to make sure that was okay under the circumstances. Right now I'll probably just let it go. It seems as if I just continue to do my work without issue I should be fine. But it is definitely POTS affecting all of this. lieze

I have had the same experience from my parents and my husband. They have made negative comments about the time or effort I have spent on the internet trying to find out what was wrong with me. They have also just tried to put it off as me being crazy. Well I think they were kind enough to not use that word. But I felt very much that my adrenals were involved and I was feelings so worried that I needed medical help fast or it could be too late. Thank goodness I think I was just at the peak of my illness at that point. But no one could understand they accused me of being anorexic and stood and yelled at my bed that I would die if I didn't eat. So much confusion and misunderstanding and I was scared out of my mind. My blood pressure monitor was my best friend. And my husband threw it one day and threatened to just get rid of it. I guess we could look at it as just pure frustration at the condition in general. No one thinks they will get sick this way. I didn't even know anything about POTS before this. lieze

Thanks so much for your reply flop. The most discouraging part of this is I am trying so hard and it is such an accomplishment for me to be able to even go in and work. To deal with what I am is so discouraging. The thought that they are trying to make me lose? my job if that is what they are doing when I've been through all that I have? I know what I've dealt with this last year is nothing in comparison to what some of the rest of you have been through but the thought of having it be at the hand of an angry mob makes me very frustrated! I want to just scream, "No!" It's like getting shot in the back. I do appreciate your message and I'll try to make the best of it. Both in taking pride in my work and celebrating the fact that I accomplished something. Thanks lieze

I have worked in a nursing home for 18 years and have a good reputation there. I am an LPN. It's where I contracted chicken pox. I was taking care of a patient with shingles. Well once I realized I just couldn't handle working full time I told my boss. I actually have a family leave act related to my SVT;s etc etc, Signed by my doctor that I should be excused from absences related to episodes. My POTS has not been diagnosed. So I cut back to every other weekend. She put me in a treatment nurse spot that I am not really familiar with. I go in and do my best etc etc. It basically amounts to getting pulled all over the building doing treatments on three units and to the apartment building next door if they have someone sick. I feel like I can do this job. I would not try to do something I didn't feel capable of doing. My goal is to get better and be able to do more. I have been symptomatic at work before mostly before I cut back to the every other weekend. If it's very bad I leave. My problem I am having is with the other nurses there. They have decided they don't like me. These are not nurses that know me or that I have worked with in the past, they are rather new and I worked days two of these three are second shift nurses, one of those just came to day shift. So they do not have any reference of my past reputation. They are trying to gather evidence against me to get me in trouble and I don't even know why. My boss called me after my last weekend I worked to talk to me about a few things. I answered her questions and she was fine with my explanation. I didn't even get a write up or anything. I go to all these different units and work and then get pulled to another when I get there the nurse on the calling unit just looks at me like I haven't been doing a thing and vice versa. It happens all day long. Then the nurse that follows comes in and sees maybe I haven't signed for a certain treatment I have done or gotten everything done and the reason is people keep pulling me to different jobs. So I work much of the time that I'm there but no one recognizes it and for me just pulling off the 6 hours is a feat in itself. I am so discouraged. 2 of these 3 nurses that are giving me problems are new to our facility have been there I would say 2-3 years or less and don't really know me. The other I haven't worked with much when I was there full time. We worked separate and on different units. They also tried to make an issue of me having my cell phone which I did use on break and lunch-and so I just didn't even have it on me at all today so they could not say anything. My phone was not preventing me from getting any work done. I think they are just looking for any reason to complain about me. I hate it that they are doing this to me. The one nurse will not talk to me at all. I tried to communicate to her today about a couple patients and she turns her head. She is unhappy herself with her job-doesn't say it but is in school to be an RN and is near failing her classwork. And she has been moody and attitude in the past. So she is giving me the mood. The one that follows me shakes her head and tells me everything is okay to my face and then goes and tries to report anything she can to my boss. She has gone from gossiping about me to leaving notes on my time card to calling me at home talking in a nasty tone to reporting me. In every case I responded to her with kindness and she tells me everything is fine. But then goes to my boss. I don't really know what these women are out to prove. I have been there so long that if I was just incompetent I think some one would have figured that out by now. I've always gotten excellent reviews as I say, and the behavior just seems ridiculous to me. I don't want to let them get me into trouble for any reason. I was so careful today and went over all of the books at least 3 times to make sure I had signed for everything I did. I think I'm capable of outsmarting any type of snag they try to catch me up in. I guess my biggest question what do I do? Do I continue talking to my boss about what's going on? Only look at covering myself and just wait for this to pass with a new job assignment eventually? Do I just ignore their behavior? I could have just cried today. It feels awful to be singled out like this. Part of the reason could be just pure jealousy too I hate to say that but my husband does have a good enough job that I've been able to take this break thank goodness. So I come in every other weekend but know the facility inside and out. Have worked every shift and every unit. I feel very comfortable in most situations. Just because I have not done it in front of them or along beside them they are so arrogant to think I don't know what I'm doing? It seems easy enough to realize if I do everything I need to I have nothing to worry about. It just feels awful though to be a target like this. lieze