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Happy And Sad

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Hi all,

I'm sorry I haven't posted in awhile. I've been busy with exams which are finally over (thank goodness).

I just found out today I've been accepted to Breadloaf-- the most prestigious writer's conference in the country. It's a huge deal, only 15% of those who apply are accepted, and I'll be working with some of the greatest writers around. I should be ecstatic, but all I can think about is the POTS. There's a good chance the travel there will put me out and I may be too sick to attend any of the conference...or I might only be able to attend a small amount of it (which is, realistically, the best case scenario).

I feel like my life is going on without me sometimes. If I were healthy I'd already be done with my BA, and in grad school. Instead I'm a Junior at UMD and may have to pass up the biggest opportunity of my life because of the stupid OI.

My whole family just rolled their eyes at me when I voiced my concerns, saying "something finally goes right for you and all you can think about is the bad angles"... which makes me feel even worse. I just know you guys can understand how I feel. I?ve got to try to go and make the best of it, but it?s times like these that I?m (once again) reminded of how far I?ve fallen.

Asadmopeylauren :ph34r:

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wow lauren that is fantastic! congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I understand you feeling about this.. its got to be ahrd decision to make.. how far away is it? would you boyfriend by chance be ab;e to go with you?? and drive.. so that you could like lay down in the back seat??

If you would fly.. could you majorly load up on the IV fluids to help you get thru the flight? and hopefully get thru some of the confrenece?

I think its good to be realistic about your OI... and how abig trip like this could afect you.. but yet.. on the other hand.. you could feel good during the trip and maybe not crash to badly.. and really be able to enjouy yourslef and finaly get to do something that you realy want to do..

and meet some awesome people in the process....

But please know that I am so very proud of you!! and am happy for you and this oppertunity.. and I hope tht you are able to find a way to do this.. I think it would be good for you.. mentally and spirtually.. and all that jazz...

Just wanted you to know that I understand what your saying... and I so totally get it!

But where there is a will dear there is a way!!

hang in there.. and keep shooting for the stars and your dream wil come true in there own time... only when they are meant to happen ....fllow your heart and ambition.. you my dear have talent.. :wub::wub:

love and hugs dear

linda B)

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Don't be hard on yourself, I think we all undersatnd where your coming from. I think we tend to get overwheled more easily...you have been very busy and you know your limits. Nothing wrong with that. Do try and be positive though, you came this far, enjoy it! Take it one moment at a time.

Very proud of you!!!!


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I feel your sadness, pain and frustration. It is so difficult to explain how we feel to even our family ,which makes it hard for them to understand our concerns about going places and feeling well enough to do anything. I think if you are able to attend any of it you would feel a great accomplishment, but I certainly

understand the many concerns of travel, being more run down and cost. I have barely left my house in a year, except for apts. and I am forcing myself to go out more on better days and whatever happens, happens- I have little control over it. At least I feel some joy in attempting to do normal things occasionally. I haven't made any lengthy rides and certainly not alone and still unable to drive. Miss the independence and work like crazy. I feel for you as we just want life to be normal and to go on with our goals.

Good luck with whatever you decide. Not sure how long your conference is, how far you would have to travel,could you allow for extra time to travel and rest? I hope you are able to go.

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Guest tearose

Hi lauren,

Wow you just finished the semester! Good going!

I don't know of Breadloaf but it sounds very unique.

And then you are also one of a chosen few to get accepted to this conference! You are to be congratulated!

Please don't allow yourself to be sad and mopey for too long. We all do understand.

Okay, so maybe the whole loaf of bread is too much...so just have several slices instead :wub:

And what is the rush in getting the degrees in a certain pace? Lighten up on yourself! Things do come together somehow and you will manage. Maybe you'll feel better if you don't share your concerns with those eye rolling family members. They obviously don't "get it". Just come here, we'll always be here!

I too think sometimes that I am so slow compared to where I wanted to be...but that is a pressure I / we put on ourselves. Now that's enough! Take a much earned rest and then wake up and start making your packing list, get the travel plans together and treat yourself to a new writing pen...

I would like to mention...since I love to bake bread...some of the finest loaves need more time to rise! :wub:

It never compromises the final product...it is just what it takes to get it done best!

best regards, tearose

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Congrats!!!!!! That is such a big accomplishment! :wub: Do you think if you got some IV fluids before you go that it may help??? I hope you get to attend this conference.

I can relate to how your family reacts to worrying about being sick. No one can really understand it unless they are going through it, if that makes any sense. Are you going to be traveling alone if you go out there?


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I totally understand the whole people not understanding how you feel. If you had a broken leg, nobody would question that you wouldn't want to say, walk a couple of blocks to get lunch v. drive. But you don't have a broken leg- you look healthy and people think they know what you mean when you say you're tired. But it's hard to explain the sort of bone dragging fatigue that we feel- sometimes you just can't push through it, and you're being smart (not pessimistic) to consider it and make a plan before the conference. Don't let either your family or your disease get you down! Just do your best- maybe get there a day or two before the conference so you can have down time before it starts. Also, call the conference organizers and see what you can do about reserve seating, pre-registration, etc. to minimize your standing in line time.

Most of all- HAVE FUN!

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Thanks so much for your support guys! I feel a little better today. I've arranged to go up with my father and he'll be staying with me the whole time, so if I feel sick, he can wheel me in my chair. I've also talked with the coordinator who says she'll look into a handicapped access room that's close to where all the workshops take place so I won't have to walk very much. All in all, I think I'll be able to attend portions of the conference and even though I might not be able to go hiking or swimming with everyone, I'll be able to enjoy it in my own way :wub:

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YEAH!! that is great lauren!!!

Have fun and lets us know how it goes when you get back!!



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