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SO depressed


persephone
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Hang in there. The ho, ho, ho of the season takes its toll on the best of people forget about the ones with some type of illness etc. Take the time between semesters(I'm assuming you have a break) and recoup with some extra TLC for yourself.

Hope you had a Merry and received some nice gifts that you can enjoy while you relax and get yourself together again. :P

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Iknow how you feel! V-mas eve at the in laws was doable then DH asked if we were having his family over the next eve for dinner. I told him i would have to wait till morn to see how I felt. after church I was ablr to keep my eyes open, so i relented. We had planned on just 5 , but this added 3 adults and a 4 and 2 yr old. So I over cooked and basically tried to just keep chugging. My motherinlaw askedhow I felt and I just told her I could feel a crash coming today,- i lied i felt that way then. Today, even the puppy is a waste, yhe nieces and nephews justed prtted her and chased her all evening. she wont eat today. I see doc tomorrow so i hope i rally. today i wish i had energy just flat out drained and could use house to myself, instead ds is having over freinds to shoot clay birds. Noise!!!Hang in there. I'm thinking of you.:-)

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Persephone you are not alone. I am depressed today, too. I had a wonderful Christmas . . . my husband is feeling well in spite of his cancer treatments and both our children and their spouses and our grandchildren came here Christmas Eve and we had managed to decorate the house really nice and it was just wonderful, however, today I am depressed.

I think it is normal to feel a letdown when it is over. My daughter has gone home and I won't see her for quite a while and there are unwrapped gifts sitting around, and crumbs on the table. That's the normal letdown.

For a person with POTS the letdown is going to be much worse because of the extra load that has been put on our already low energy level. I feel like I have cooked so much food since Thanksgiving that I do not want to cook anything, not even toast a bagle for at least a month!

This morning when I look at the tree and all the beautfiul decorations, I am thinking about the energy required to put it all away!

And Gracie,

Good grief! I am trying to imagine you in bed with a pillow over your head and "boom! boom! boom!" shaking the house. Can't they take the shooting gallery someplace else?

It will pass. It will pass. It will pass.

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Persy, relax and enjoy your break! I am so proud of you for making it through that very trying first semester. 2006 is going to be better- let's all hope for the best.

Carmen

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yes the boys shot for two hrs until dark. Now they are in kitchen playing poker. I don't want my kids 21 and 18 dragged down with this stuff so I go along even though it doesn't help. Whats a mother to do?the boys - 21- are pretty well behaved right now but you know its just that chi- energy- in the house that is so draining. I am ashamed. I have so much to be thankful for, like you say this too will pass.:-)

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We, thankfully, had a quite day. We went to church then came home to bed. Some people asked us over but I told them I just wanted to come home and be left alone for a few days so it has been blessedly quiet.

Today the men came over and finished putting the metal roof on the house but they know us so when they needed to come in they just let themselves in and out. I had some chili in the fridge and I told them. When I wandered out to the kitchen they had come in, helped themselves, rinsed their dishes and stacked them in the sink!

Oh, I am spoiled!!

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hello persephone,

sending you lots of supportive thoughts over the ether. it sounds, from your post, like you had expectations of your break. i once heard something that helped me: " expect the worst, hope for the best ". i sometimes think of it when anticipating an event or an outcome. then i feel prepared for whatever wil happen. this is perhaps no more than cod-psychology! but my good wishes for you are real.

regards, marian B)

ps which betablockers have you tried? i need help here.

Edited by Rachel
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Hope things get better for you, but I know what you mean. We all need to sick together tell we all get better. B) Hopfully that day will be soon. I never thought that this would rule my life!!! But one day at a time!!!! A keep dreaming of a better no potsy day! Good Luck hope you feel better soon!

Amy

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Ah, the "curse of the over-achiever"...it's real hard to allow yourself to be idle. You push yourself to do so much, you can allow yoursef to indulge in being sick once in a while. No guilt!

Sorry that you feel sick over the holidays. It's pretty miserable not to be able to enjoy holidays.

Please rest! your body needs to catch up with you!..again--no guilt!

all the best,

Ariella

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It doesn't help that my own mum interprets sitting still as laziness- I'm reading loads and loads of stuff for next term at Oxford- I'm not sitting doing nothing! Perhaps if I did it whilst running up and down the stairs she wouldn't get so angry :D

Seriously, she actually tells me I'm lazy if I can't get up and about to help with the housework. then when I *DO* try and help, she shoos me away because my efforts aren't good enough :)

....which isn't making for a particularly relaxing atmosphere either :P

but thanks for the pearls of wisdom!

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wow, Perse, didn't realize that was the sitauation in your house. I've experienced a similar thing, and it's emotionally harder to bear than this illness.

What you probably need most is to rest. Easier said than done, you don't need to prove anything to anyone. I consider myself a very driven "overachiever" type, and I had to face reality and drop out of a home study course a few years ago because by the time I got the kids out the door in the morning, I was too wiped to even hold my train of thought. And you're persevering for Oxford! You are anything but lazy, and you know it. I hope you have someone close to you who does "get it" and tells you how special you are.

love,

ariella

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No matter how old we get, a comment from "Mother" can really throw us can't it? I'm still reeling from something stupid my mother said this week too.... but I keep reminding myself that there is a difference between how she makes me feel and the TRUTH! So I keep reminding myself of the truth and get a few people I respect to reinforce the truth for me.

So, Pers, the truth is exactly what Ariella said. You have accomplished a full session at Oxford. No lazy person could ever do that! On top of it. we all know how much harder and at times almost impossible it is with POTS and yet YOU DID IT! And now you DESERVE some rest and some time to let your body be sick if it needs to.

Hang in there girl. I hope you can get some guiltless rest as well as get all the reading done you need to.

Love Roselover

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Pers, you seem to be having lots of ups and downs in rapid sequence (kind of a rollercoaster, yes?). All I can think to say when you're feeling at the bottom is that historically speaking, you seem to have an upswing not too far off. I hope that when you're depressed, you can remind yourself that it's gotten better before, so the odds are, it will get better again.

Here's to an upswing with some good level coasting ahead. Nina

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i know how painful it is when a loved one says something hurtful like calling you lazy, it hurts even more when it is someone like your mom, the person who is supposed to understand and know you the best, maybe you could talk to her and try to calmly tell her how much it hurts you when she says things like that, i'm sure she didnt mean it, hang in there,

radha

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