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Only child?


MomtoGiuliana
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Are you an only child?  

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I have noticed a fair number of only children on this forum. My daughter will be an only child due to my experience with pregnancy/delivery/post-partum. My mother was an only child because my grandmother had the same problems I did.

This question is just out of curiousity. Of course POTS has many different causes. But I am interested in the experiences' of others' mothers with pregnancy and if there may be a genetic connection in these cases.

There does seem to be a connection between POTS and preeclampsia and pregnancy-induced hypertension and the associated complications--the most common medical complications associated with late pregnancy.

BTW, only-child families are increasing in prevalence for lots of reasons. I read that one in five Americans under the age of 18 is an only child today.

Katherine

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Katherine, I have an only child because of complications I had with delivery and post partum. I had pregnancy induced hypertension and toxemia. Baby was fine but I was not...a lot of weird things doctors couldn't explain 25 years ago. I remember when I spoke with my doctor about a 2nd child he had me undergo a brain scan because they weren't sure I could tolerate another pregnancy. He told me that I had a hidden tendency to hypertension and it would flare again later in my life. I never had any trouble with BP however until 20 years later and the onset of pots.

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Hi geneva

I am sorry you had a difficult time as I did. How extremely frustrating that you had even fewer answers than I did, 2 years ago.

Why the brain scan--what would that show?

My doctors ask me if I am planning another pregnancy as if it were something I would actually consider. It seems too dangerous/risky to me.

Regarding bp, I always had borderline low bp until end of pregnancy. I am still having (although not as significant) periods of high bp.

Katherine

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I have 3 siblings and my mother had 2 miscarriages. My POTS comes from my father and his father however.

I have 1 child - fairly normal pregnancy except for severe nausea and vomiting for nearly nine months. Also, the dizziness got really bad the last month.

I would love to have another one but not sure that I have the strength to care for another one. I can barely take care of myself some days. I would love to give her a sibling because I worry that if she has POTS as severe as I do - I don't want her to be alone - I would like to know that she would have a sibling to fall back on. But, on the other hand I could pass on POTS to both of them. We can make ourselves crazy worrying about all the uncertainties of this terrible condition. I wish I knew the right answer because I'm getting older every day.

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I am one of FIVE, actually, and my mom had no problems. My sisters have all also had healthy pregnancies. I, however, had severe preeclampsia, and after having kidney failure and swelling in my brain, and being in the hospital for three weeks, I was induced at thirty weeks and had a sick baby. She is FIVE and fabulous now and I'm DYING to have another baby, but my fears, my husbands fears, and my crappy health are all huge issues...it *****. that's the bottom line. But I'm hoping now that I'm being treated, I stand a better chance of having a healthy baby....and I can't WAIT! Still, I was so healthy, and in great shape, and active and athletic when I got pregnant...I was never sick a day in my life. I don't know why I got preeclampsia, and don't know if I will get it again. I don't know why I have been sick ever since. either way, I'm 24, 120 pounds, doing yoga, and on DRUGS (prescritpion drugs that is)....so here's hoping i will someday soon be able to have a healthy baby. adoption is also a wonderful option for us. We would love to adopt, and hopefully will someday! It's more a matter of money than anything else right now. Otherwise we'd do it in a heart beat!!!!

And I also worry about my little girl. Medically speaking, I'm a train wreck. She's already had heart failure and emergency heart surggery, and seizures as an infant. although she is SO healthy now, I am terrified of ever having to let my little girl be sick again. I don't think I could handle it. I had to be sedated when she had her surgery....nothing's worse in this world than kowing your kiddo is suffering. It's just a real tragedy that we all have to worry about all of these issues....

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None of my 4 siblings (all brothers) appears to have any of the health problems I do. However, my mother was diagnosed with a heart murmur as a child and at around age 50 developed overactive thyroid and had to have that gland dissolved. I've often wondered if those were markers of weaknesses that I inherited.

I am childless by choice, which has nothing at all to do with any health concerns - I had made that decision by the time I was about 20. However, once my health trouble really kicked in, I felt that God gave me that desire to be childless because my body would be unable to carry a full-term, healthy baby.

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Guest veryblue

I am an only child because my parents were only children and loved the way they grew up and thought it was best. I'm not really found of kids and if I ever have any there is not way I would have more than one. My mom had the easiest pregnancy in the world with me...and she was 41 when I was born. She did use fetiltiy drugs due to her age...but I know they have nothing to do with me getting sick cuz I have been super healthy all my life until one sad day in January. I come from a family of no diseases at all. My dad's dad had high blood pressure dx at like age 40 something and lived well into his 90s. Dad's mom lived to 90. Dads grandparents lived into upper 90s on both sides. Mom's mom is 96 still alive and is in good health...moderate high blood pressure that developed last year, but at 95 anything can happen...moms dad died at 101...perfect health his whole life. Mom's grandparents lived to be in their 100s....one was like 106 or something like that. No health problems. My mom is in great health and is 62 but looks 40...and no she didnt have plastic surgery and boxtox, and my dad is 67 and doing fine despite the fact that he had a benign brain tumor in '96...he is prefect now and didnt even know he had a tumor...caught in on an MRI for a neck injury...so I have no health problems in my family....I guess I am the only FREAK! But I know I wont be a freak for long!!!

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wsc--I also come from a big family--four girls. My mom also had no problems. The whole thing came as a big shock to me (being ill with pregnancy). I am so so sorry for all the challenges you and your daughter have been through. Thank goodness she is well now. I was also active and felt good before pregnancy--and I also plan to be that way again! :) I wish you the best in realizing your desire for another baby.

opus--interesting how our bodies do sometimes seem to talk to us.

veryblue--POTS does not appear to affect longevity, btw (you mentioned all the ages your relatives have lived to). It just can affect QUALITY of life--as many of us know. Also, please don't think of yourself as a freak (although I realize you are probably talking tongue-in-cheek), or intimate that others are. From some of your statements I get the impression you are a perfectionist--correct? :) Challenges come in all forms in life. Don't let this illness define YOU.

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I have a sister who is healthy and my parents are pretty healthy too, knock on wood. My mom did have mitral valve prolapse about 10 years ago, and I wonder whether this is related to my POTS. She took a beta blocker for a couple of years and then it went away.

Very blue, it's sad and unfair that you keep refering to yourself as a freak, especially because you seem to have mild symptoms compared to most people on this site. POTS is a medical condition, and POTS patients aren't "freaks" any more than people who have more common conditions like cancer or diabetes.

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I am an only child because the years slipped by as my parents waited until they were ready for another...which never happened! However, my mom did have serious health problems during her pregnancy- 24/7 nausea & vomiting, and toxemia at the end, after gaining over 80 lbs despite the sickness. My pregnancy with my son proved to be very similar- except I was feeling much better by 4-5 months along, but I did gain 80 lbs, an have high BP at the end. This pregnancy (at 11 weeks) is pretty tough, so I am hoping it gets better. No more kids for me either way, I am happy with 2!! Although I would also *love* to adopt someday when mine are older. Just no more pregnancies!!

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I have four siblings, however my son is an only child. That wasn't because I was sick or anything...I was just young and broke when I had him and I knew I couldn't afford the one I had, let alone another one. :)

Michelle

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i am an only child...but my mom felt FABULOUS during her pregnancy! she always says how she has never felt as good as when she was pregnant!

i would say that i am the 'compromise'...at first my mom didn't want any kids and my dad wanted a lot! so, they had me and then my mom said, no more and had her tubes tied. i guess i was handful enough! he-he. :). no, my mom loves me lots. no worries. :) but, she was very career oriented as was my dad and he didn't help much...i think that if he had been a better 'helper' she might have had more.

my dad was one of 16 children! and his family seems to have no problem populating the world, as i have 40 cousins and there are over 40 great-grandkids now! and most are healthy.

no other folks with POTS. but my mom's side...she only has one brother. and my grandmother, her brother and her ALL had/have cervical and spinal stenosis. so maybe the POTS is from that side? hmmmm...

anyway, always stinks when the docs do family history and you don't have any siblings to compare yourself to! :) but, otherwise, being an only child was just fine. i have my dog...he's enough of a sibling! :)

later alligators!

emily

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This has been very interesting. Thanks everyone for responding to my curiousity.

Emily--I cannot believe how large your family is! I have only four first cousins. My daughter has ONE cousin at this point. Hoping for a few more! I'd love to hear from you and Jessica any thoughts you have about your experience as "onlies" and any advice you have for me as possibly the mom of one (but maybe not on the forum since that's a bit ot!)

Everyone, keep your experiences and thoughts coming, if you want to share.

Katherine

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Guest veryblue

Just to clear things up... I didnt mean anyone was a freak cuz they have POTS...I am just a freak in my family cuz nobody is sick but me. I don think I am a freak however...I think freak is somebody out of the ordinary...and my body is definitly out of the ordinary...and the way I was hit with this...wham...has anyone else been slammed with this...wouldnt I have felt short of breath or something when I was running around playing basketball/soccer earlier, the same day of my onset?...my atheletic life was taken away from me in just 3 hours and now my whole life is turned upside down...docs dont find anything wrong, my soccer teammates hate me...friends think I am 'weird' and 'fragile', like I need to be babied, parents dont believe that there is any way I have POTS, and fiance...well we wont get into things there, lets just say life is rough, and even though I can do more than other people on here, I'm not priviliged because I have absoulty no support what-so-ever from anyone, nor do I have a doctor who can explain whats going on...I have even been to a neuro who is from Mayo and seen POTS and says I dont really show signs of it...so be priviliged and thankful that people actually support you as that is something I will never have...so living with this is not an option for me at all...I need to find a way to get my life back...and I have a gut feeling that I will! Hopefully whatever I find out can help someone along the way. If I didnt know better I would say someone put a voodoo spell on me or something cuz not knowing why is my biggest pet peeve...always has been. Oh and patient...forget it...I'm the most unpatient person I know. Always searching for relief....veryblue.

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veryblue

I am sorry to hear that you do not have the support you need right now. I also understand how frustrating it is to feel sure you have been misdiagnosed. I understand why you were using the term "freak"--but it has connotations that can make the intended meaning easily misconstrued.

I have a couple of questions, if you want to answer them. What are your symptoms? What are you unable to do that you were formally able to do? And, besides posting to this forum, what other things are you doing to try to get a handle on your condition?

You said that living with this (whatever it is) is not an option. To a degree I think that is a good approach to illness, but sometimes we do have to accept challenges and changes in our lives--it is part of life--and then find a way to manage them and keep living. I have only come to understand that though over time--and I am over a decade older than you are.

Katherine

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Very blue,

Out of the ordinary is a much better choice of words than freak. But I don't think you are out of the ordinary for a POTS patient, if POTS is indeed what you have. (I have read a number of your posts, and I don't really understand your symptoms or whether you have POTS.) I went to the gym on the day of my onset. I was completely functional and it hit me out of the blue.

I am sorry you haven't been getting much support from your friends and family. I don't have a good doctor, but my friends, family and co-workers have been incredibly supportive. I can't imagine what it must be like not to have that support.

Everyone has bad things happen to them in varying degress, at some time or another. I agree with Katherine that you have to make the best of what life deals you. And if you watch TV or read the news, POTS isn't so bad compared to some of the other problems that people out there are dealing with...

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My mother had 4 miscarrages and 3 live births. She took DES (a hormone that doctors used to believe prevented miscarrages) while she was pregnant with all 3 of us. We have all had endometrial cancer. All of us have had only one child. I had 3 miscarriages and given up before getting pregnant again and, after 24/7 nausea and vomiting, bleeding all the way through, and then my water breaking so my son was 4 weeks early; I had a healthy baby boy. He is now 12. I had my tubes tied while I was in the hospital with him.

My sisters have developed the same cardiac symptoms I have. Don't know if it is related to mom's pregnancy problems or not. Both parents have pacemakers...

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