Ocd Or Just So Damn Forgetful??

[ramakentesh]

My friends all think I have OCD - i check doors and taps and stuff like that about 20 times before I leave places. I used to agree but now I just think its an overcompensation for brain fog - no memory - because half the time I check the door is unlocked or the keys are still in the car, etc.

I also find my ability - all be it small as a man - to multi task is totally gone, especially if ive been vertical a while.

I had band practise tonight - i had to take six months off until recently because of POTS so its good to get back up and running, but someone was talking to me constantly at the end and I left a really expensive guitar pedal outside the rehersal building. A real downer but my brain just wasnt right and i was distracted. So even with my version of 'ocd' i still forget stuff way too much... LOL

[morgan617]

I do have clinical OCD and checking stuff has nothing to do with thinking you have "forgotten" anything. Checking things relieves the stress caused by the obssesive thinking about needing to check everything over and over, not because you actually think you might have left the stove on or whatever.

In OCD, the brain thinks "what if I left it on?" even though you KNOW you didn't. A person with true OCD would actually not forget stuff, because they are too obsessed to forget the keys or leave the burner on, or a guitar somewhere. Huge difference between forgetful and ocd. You can tell your friends.

Dave has always been very forgetful, so I sent him to a doctor and he told him he didn't exercise his brain enough and it's a "guy" thing. LOL, first time I ever heard a guy doc talk about blonde syndrome in another guy. In my brain freezes, I just don't even think about stuff, it's actually over ridden my ocd, and that's something, let me tell you. You can ask your doctor about it, but I'd chalk it up to fog, there's not a lot they can do about it.

Dave doesn't forget the things important to him, just everyone else. So who knows, and if the house burned down he would never think, he should have checked to see if he left the burner on. He's lazy, you're sensitive to the fact that you are forgetful, and I have ocd. morgan

[janiedelite]

Ha ha, Yes! I used to be the queen of multitasking! But instead of leaving keys in the car, they are often in the lock on the front door! I've even found them in the freezer!

[ramakentesh]

People i meet all think im a reall ditzy type of guy now because im pretty hopeless with my stuff. Sounds like I dont have OCD then Morgan!

[EarthMother]

I'm not a fan of labels, as it seems to me most people have "addictions" of one sort or another. Some type of neural pattern (habit) that we perform on a regular basis. Checking doors, over-eating, hypervigilance, googlechondria, we all seem to have something ... and no doubt when we "beat" on addiction, another one is there to take its place.

Some people "trade up" when it comes to habit practices. Like the over-weight bloke who becomes the fitness guru. One habit for another (both likely a bit over the top).

Some people don't even recognize their level of conditioning and certainly don't see it as a problem. Like the always-on-the-move gal who has an imaculate house. Always cleaning, always busy. I often joke, I wish I had THAT disorder. lol

There are of course a small percent of truly tortured individuals whose hands are chapped from over washing, who can not meet an appointment on time because they have to DRIVE BACK HOME ten times to check if the door is locked and in these extreme cases there is a constant level of angst and agitation.

But aside from these classic cases of OCD ... it seems to me we each cling to ritual and habit especially when we feel so out of control in other areas of our life (like standing!) in order compensate for the feeling of helplessness and to give ourselves the illusion that we are still at the helm.

But hey, that's just me ... your mileage may varry. ;-)

[EarthMother]

Morgan,

Just saw your post after sending mine --- how elegant and wonderful example and explaination. As well as a direct answer to the question!

While my own intent is often a crow's path, my actions tend to meander all around the forrest. But that's just how my disordered mind manifests. :-)

[morgan617]

Earth Angel,

You are right on point, however! I also believe we often just exchange one thing for another. Even with my OCD, if I can rid myself of one compulsion or obsessive thought, there's always something new in the corner just waiting to pop out and replace it. My hands are awful, by the way. They will often bleed from washing them so often. When I was younger (have had it all my life too, but never told anyone till my 30's, it's one of those mental health things where you know YOU have the problem, not everyone else) I would literally leave the soap on and scrub until it, the soap, had absorbed into my skin, like lotion!

A great example of exchanging to me is an ex smoker, they can be belligerent about people telling them to stop, but if they do, can easily become worse zealots than those who have never smoked. Although addiction is far different from OCD also. I agree it is all about control too. Even with my OCD, I do other things to prove I can control something, but trust me, my OCD has all the control in this case.

I remember watching an Oprah show about people with "OCD", who were cured in a weekend by being coerced into doing the things that were the most repulsive to them. I remember watching that and thinking, man this is the blind leading the blind, these are phobias, and have absolutely nothing to do with OCD. How absolutely misleading, they had no idea. It's like saying all cancers are the same. Who here believes that? These were people afraid of one thing. OCD has has no bounds on the stressors you can have that you want to wash away. I found it to be very much like many doctors appts I've had. Tunneled and totally incorrect. (speaking of meandering)

Information is power.....morgan

[anna]

Oh yes information is power,

All 3 of my children have mild to moderate OCDs, we have noticed that when they are more POTSie they tend to exhibit more OCD behaviour. But they are also more dippy as well!! After some time visiting an occupational therapist, trained in cognitive behaviour therapy, we found that there was an intertwining link with my more effected son's OCD and the discomfort he felt from the POTs, when he feels better he is less likely to have to do his OCD thing what ever it might be this month or that it does not intrude on his day!!! As Morgen has mentioned OCDs are not to be mixed up with Phobias, my kids do some very odd things in the name of this OCD, my son explained it more like an irrational fear that controls you, one that changes with you, you get over one thing only to have it replaced by an other!! After much time seeing the CBT we decided it was better to try and find a ritual that worked in with evry day life!!!!

Ramakentesh, On the Q. of checking stuff I have found I need to write out check lists and tick them off for many things I do the most important one is a medicine chart, if I don't tick it off as I go I forget who has had what meds, I'm trying to get my kids to do the same thing because they are just as dippy as me!!! My daughter has just this week left her A3 sketch book some where between home and college its a big thing but she has no idea were she left it!! One of my boys came home other week minus one electric guitar, he had taken in that day, forgot he had even had a guitar lesson!!

My walls are covered in list of things to do etc. if I put them in an organiser I lose the organiser.!!

[jmag828]

might be a bit of ocd.. but you might want to see if you have any add thats what it sounds more like. and in terms of being diagnosed with pots, the fact that i have add im alson on adderall.. which has in combination with a beta blocker helped alot. it makes me alot more aware of my surroundings which when my pots flares up i otherwise can't remember anything and have the attention span of a goldfish.

[shoe]

I'd agree with the others that it sounds more of a "forgetful/lack of focus" sort of deal than OCD. I've known a few folks with OCD (some have it mildly, some... god, how horribly debilitating)... and it's less checking if something was done and more a ritual or doing something in a pattern to stop X event (sometimes completely unrelated) from happening. Like, "If I don't walk in a circle 10 times clockwise and 5 times counterclockwise, an accident will happen across town." I knew a woman who had to pick up paper and throw it out whenever she saw it in a "slightly unusual" spot. So, if she's in a hallway in a school, and there's the little shreds from the edges of a notebook on the floor, she'd need to pick those up... and then, if there's a post it stuck on a door that fell, that too...

And keys in the freezer -- man, that's me. Everything inevitably in my house ends up in the refrigerator. I am asleep on my feet. Have been for years. Flash drives, socks, boxes of cereal, the mail -- can't find it? Check the fridge. Sadly enough, it's often there. It's become kind of a joke, but I feel dumb as a post when I do it.

[bizbiz]

I was actually diagnosed with OCD by a psychologist, although now I'm not so sure...

Every week, at least two mornings I was late for work because I had to return home to make sure that the kettle wasnt left on (I never even used it in the mornings, but you never know...), the hairdryer or iron were switched off with the plug pulled out of the wall, the side gate was locked and padlocked so there was no chance of the dog escaping (we NEVER even used this gate) and that the roller door on the garage hadnt somehow opened on its own...!?

Feeding my horses was a whole other story...would leave and wonder if I did all the buckles on their rugs, closed their stables, closed the gate behind me etc etc.

Funny thing is I always knew that when I got back home everything would be off / shut / locked etc, simply because I had done it and double checked it all about 5 or 6 times before I had actually left.

Strange thing though: since I came home with my new baby 9 months ago and being sick, I am not like this anymore. I can now leave the house with the computer on (would NEVER, EVER do this before, even if I was just going to the shop down the road), dont care if the kettle is boiling (I have faith that it will switch itself off automaticaly like it always does when it is boiled and I am home), dont care if electrical appliances are still plugged into the wall etc. WHY? Because my baby is all I care about now, and as long as he is with me and safe than I couldnt really care if the house blew up / caught on fire / garage door opened etc. (Also because I am just so **** tired and frankly dont have the energy to keep running around like a mad woman checking everything!). So this is why I wonder if she was right in diagnosing me with OCD - because I dont really believe that having something else to think about (in my case my baby) could be such a simple cure to such a complex illness...but boy, does it feel good! Also like shoe said, while OCD can be constantly checking things, I think it is more of a ritual thing - I was told of someone with OCD who just HAD to look at EVERY number plate on EVERY car that they drove past on their way to / from work or wherever it was they were going.

But in terms of the bad memory / brain fog / forgetfulness - I hear you! Although mine did coinside with both getting sick and having a newborn baby so I'm not sure which one is causing it at the moment, but I am definately a lot more 'stupid' these days than I was 9 months ago. Halfway through doing something I might just avert my attention for a second and before you know it I'm off doing something else and leaving whatever I was doing half finished, forgetting what I was saying mid sentence, puting milk in the cupborad, flour in the fridge etc. One time my sister even called me and asked why I had put the rugs on my horse without doing any of the clips and buckles up...duh - how did I think it was going to stay on?!

[potsgirl]

The hand washing sounds like a ritualistic action to me that is not being 'forgetful'. I've had clinical OCD for about 12 years now, and it is certainly about control. Before this, I battled with anorexia, which is also about control. The more everything in my life was out of control, the more ritualistic I became. I had to fold things a certain number of times, and they all had to face the right direction. I replayed scenes where I thought I'd said something dumb over and over in my head. I couldn't let small things go...

Has anyone seen the movie "As Good as it Gets" with Jack Nicholson? It's a good one that helps explain what OCD is. If anyone here is really worried about it, they really should see a psychologist. I take Paxil for it, and it's help a lot.

Best,

Jana

[potsgirl]

Please see my post, mistakenly put under Morgan's second one...Hope it helps.

[juliegee]

Rama-

Your "OCD" sounds compensatory, rather than real. Sorry about the brain fog & your pedal- were you able to retreive it? My son is a big guitar player and his pedals are his children :-) He'd be devestated to lose any. So far, the worst he's done is leave a guitar stand (for an back-up guitar) at a gig. Not too bad yet....

When he was at his worst, I thought some of his behaviors were OCD. For instance, he freaked out if my automatic car temp was on an odd number. The temp could be 70, but not 71. That persists to this day, but he drives himself so I'm not involved. The best I could figure is that this illness has taken away so much of his control, that he feels the need to control what he can- even stupid things like car temperature. When his symptoms flare (like now) his GI stuff is really bad and he takes zofran for nuasea. I recently read that zofran is now being used as a treatment for OCD. Very interesting.....

Glad you're well enough to play again with your band

Julie

[bjt22]

No OCD here....I can't remember well enough to be obsessive.

I can't multi-task any longer, though. My ability to do that is totally gone. Even the way I read is very different now. I frequently have to re-read a page a couple of times over before going on to the next. I have a definite lack of focus. I've often joked that I now know what children with attention deficit disorder must feel like.