Since Pots, I've Metamorphosized(?) Into A Hermit

[futurehope]

I realized in a big way that I do not really want human company much these days, nor do I seek it.

This is what happened. My husband, as often as possible, goes out to the airport to fly gliders. (I used to fly a Cessna as well, in my better days.) As usual, he asked me to go with him. Sometimes I do, just to be there. And when I can go, it's pretty much fun (if I feel all right.)

This past Saturday and Sunday it was humid and in the low nineties. I said "No, thanks. No, way!" I knew the heat would make me very headachy, tired and sick feeling.

Then he said, "You can't just sit around here all the time. You'll go nuts."

And then I realized........ I actually prefer beng left alone. I do NOT like "going someplace" and feeling absolutely sick, but at the same time PRETENDING that I'm fine, I'm having a good time, and all is well, when in reality, I can't wait to get out of there and go home and recline and not have any interaction.

Just talking to people, either on the phone or in person, can wear me out and set off my symptoms.

I consider it a great week when I DON'T have to go anywhere - and that includes a doctor's office.

So...... I've become a hermit. YIKES! It's not that I don't like people. It's that I don't like feeling bad and pretending.

How has dysautonomia affected you?

[morgan617]

Total hermitsville here too. It's just not worth the way I'm going to feel to go out any more. I do go, on occasion, with my husband for a ride or something, but that's about it.

So I totally relate. morgan

[nadine]

ditto------------

right there with Morgan. I feel more comfortable being at home, due to symptoms. May feel symptomatic without warning and god forbid I need the bathroom, there is no waiting. For me, mobility is a real issue.

This being said, I realize that I need human contact-so this forum certainly helps, I do sit on my porch that I love and enjoy friends and family-who come to me. With people coming here, I can lay down when needed.

I do feel others think I should get out more, but they don't understand what the payback is.

Have to do what feels right for me and build up the going out on good days. Right now I agree-when no doctor apts- I am thrilled. I do occas. ride with husband as well.

[Dizzy Dame]

I was a total hermit until my symptoms started to get a bit better, but I'm still too sick to do much socially outside the house aside from occasional lunch with a friend. I was always an introvert, even before getting sick, so now most of the time if I leave my house for pleasure, I go on long drives in the country by myself.

In fact, when I was really sick, I didn't miss going to clubs, or bars or hanging out with friends, what I missed most were my solitary drives.

I know I still spend an "unhealthy" amount of time alone indoors...but I'm a writer so even if I were POTS free it would be about the same.

[Guest sonotech]

I also don't really care to leave the house. I know that I HAVE become more of a "home body" since my symptoms have gotten worse.

I have family come over to help out with house work and sometimes I really don't care to talk with even THEM (my own family). I even tend to not answer my phone many times just because I really don't feel like chatting most of the time.

I feel sorry for my kids, since it is summer they want to go do things and I don't (and usually can't) so it can be really hard.

I know it drives my husband crazy that I don't want to go anywhere, but he tries to not bug me about it.

So, what is it about this illness that causes us to NOT want to be around others? I have even turned down friends wanting to come over and watch videos or just hang out.

[wareagle]

Oh..I'm so a hermitt!! And you know what..it really doesn't bother me!! (...well, most of the time)

I still "interact" with people...usually by phone or e-mail...but going out somewhere just to say that I did really doesn't appeal to me. Honestly..if I were to go to the store or attempt to have a meal in a restaurtant it would be for someone elses sake..not mine!

Now...there are times when I HATE the fact that I really CAN'T do some things...it's really more the fact that I don't have much of a choice in the matter...most of the time I would prefer to stay home anyway (even if I was 100%). I guess I've kinda' been that way my whole life... I enjoy spending time by myself..reading ect. It's not that I'm not social..it's just I've always been comfortable just being...well me.

Maybe it's b/c I was raised as an only child?

[AJVDK]

I understand. I feel like my walls are closing in on me. I can barley take it, and we have along summer ahead. I am so happy though today it cool out so I am able to open the windows and let so fresh air in. At least that is somthing. I guess when little things come we need to take them to try to feel normal. I am hoping that things will get better so I can get out more. But untill then I know what it like stuck in my house.

[dizzygirl]

fellow hermit here!! I get to the point where i dread having to leave the house.. esepically if I'm really symptomatic (and going to the docs or something)..b/c it will either set off my symptoms or make them worse...

and i hate telling people "i have to go or i have to sitr down " over and over... or if they ask me why I change "colors" so much.. i joke that i am a gecko... and i change colors to adapt to my enviornment..red. pink, deep scary red, purple, sometime blue, and straight up ghostly white.. witha tint of grey!

I dont know I guess I've always prefferred being home then being out in about.. even before i got real bad off w/ things

[Lukkychrm42]

I think I became one, too.... I don't really know when or why exactly it happened... I've done things to put myself "out there" and I suppose being in school still helps, but even with that, sometimes I fantasize about living by myself in a cottage in the mountains. (ok ok, call me a weirdo....) Of course, I've been completely independent since I could talk, enough to say "My do it!" I suppose. Haha. But I also am thrilled to see people sometimes, like an old friend, or being in a situation where I'm not automatically judged as having something wrong with me (like serving beer at a concert a few weeks ago, whereas most of my outings are trips to the doctor or pharmacy, or errands with my seat cane).

[Jacquie802]

Hi,

I also prefer to stay in, but then on some days when I am feeling good I WANT to go out with friends, etc. I don't have the type of friends who would come over bring a movie and just hang out with me. I've gotten better about going out, I used to be sooo anxious about it, because I'd be scared of gettting sick....

Jacquie

[Guest dionna]

i didn't really think of it like that but i am pretty much a hermit too i guess. i will only go somewhere if i am absolutely tired of being inside. i am an outdoors person at heart. i might just go to the gas station not even 1/2 a mile away or i will go to the lake to go fishing in the late evening until early morning. otherwise just laying in bed is fine with me. i only want to see my boyfriend and that's it. he just likes fishing and layin in bed too so... perfect! well he likes to shop for fishing stuff too and seeing the latest movies, another easy thing, but that's about it. the most strenuous thing there is standing as he looks over all the fishing gear over and over before he makes a decision. usually i just sit right there in the floor and watch him pace back and forth. i think it's funny that it doesn't take anything to keep me entertained anymore. before POTS... wow... i was everywhere, doing everything. i was a thrill seeker. now thrill seeking is if someone will let me drive their car a few miles. lol. take care of yourself and i hope things get better for you so you don't have to pretend anymore. i know the feeling though. i do it too, though everyone knows better.

dionna

[Tammy]

I've been told I'm anti-social by a few of my in-laws and it momentarily makes me feel very sad as to how they don't understand that it's not me, but how my symptoms affect my ability to be social, but once I get past their remark, it really doesn't bother me because I feel too sick for the most part to dwell on it. I don't feel anti-social, I just don't feel well enough for company or to go out and about most of the time, so definitely can relate.

Though I do miss my co-workers that I enjoyed working with as we really had fun together, but I wouldn't be any fun to be around now as I don't feel up to laughing most days either, so being a "hermit" seems to work better for me now too.

I know what you mean by enjoying a week without anything going on - I'm dreading this week, as I have dr appt, wedding, and graduation party to try to make it to, but I have a feeling I'll miss most of them

((Hugs))

Tammy