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Do you ever have a Blue doctor day?


Kitsakatsa
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I just went to my doctor, who is always warm and encouraging, and just had the coldest response from him. I had to go to get some paperwork signed and he basically said "why are you here?" It made me feel like I should never go to the doctor and maybe schedule a return appointment for no less than 39 years from now. I always check in every few months to see if he has any new ideas and the time has always been worthwhile. I was there for a concrete reason afterall. I just feel very alienated and that I've lost someone in my support network.

I'm very Blue.

Have you ever felt that your doc has left you behind?

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Hi,

I am sorry you were not welcomed by your doctor.

When a doctor treats me like that it is usually because he does not know what to do with my case and instead of telling me that he feels helpless and makes me feel unwanted or underved. I wished doctors would be honnest with us.

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Remember health care professionals are humans first - that means that they can have off days, personal problems that interfere etc. If he has alwasy been understanding - give him a second chance. We all have our days (or weeks) when we are just not at our best.

Louise

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yes, i have had these several times. it makes me feel like they think i am a crazy, whiny complainer when I know that something is truly wrong. If I get a weird response, I ask a second doctor of mine to test what he/she thinks and then I decide if I am just overreacting. Sometimes, I will bring up the issue again a few months later with the original doctor and might get a completely different response. One doctor I love recently started cutting ALL of his appointments short and he has nurses do return phonecalls now. I hate this but I learned that he does it to every single patient. At first I thought he was doing it as a dismissal, but now I think he is just trying to step back a little as his practice has gotten quite large and he is in his late 50s, but still works everyday. Anyway, I feel your upset. :-)

Leah

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I don't want to sound dismissive of your feelings, but is it possible he really DID want to know why you were there - without being hurtful?

Were you at a regularly scheduled follow-up or did you just "have to" pop in? He might have really wanted to know what you were doing there.

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You guys are so great. I could hardly get home fast enough to see if anyone ever felt the same way. I've just never seen a dismissive side. This guy saved me. No other doctors would listen to me and he admitted me and found the diagnosis. I owe him a great deal and I know the hospital is crazy busy right now, because I work there too. I am trying to be understanding. I don't need alot of warm-fuzzines from anyone, but this change in character caught me off-guard.

Do you ever get the sense that one of your doctors has just given up?

I guess I am starting to sound like a crazy patient right now. I've worked 12-15 hours each day this week and have an even harder week coming up. The nausea will not end and I've even started covetting the patients who are under anesthesia. I began to feel a little encouragement in the waiting room because I thought- here is someone who will understand and maybe have a new idea. I just felt like he said "yeah, yeah, what do you want me to do about it?"

I'm afraid that this is the end of the useful medical advice and that I will be on my own to figure this out forever.

I don't want to sound dismissive of your feelings, but is it possible he really DID want to know why you were there - without being hurtful?

Were you at a regularly scheduled follow-up or did you just "have to" pop in? He might have really wanted to know what you were doing there.

It was a regular follow-up and I had to get my FMLA paperwork signed so that when I'm sick, it won't affect my benefits

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Don't take it personal. I have had the same internist for 13 + years. Sometimes he just says I don't know what to do for you anymore. He is as frustrated as me sometimes. One day he spent an hour with me, shared the fact that he was having problems himself with panic and alot of stress with his 16 year old. I think we tend to forget that they have stress in their lives and can't always be the "rock" when we see them.

Dawn :(

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Hi,

My neurologist told me today that he cannot do anything for me. He gave me the name of a med to try but he does not want to be the one prescribing it. He said to ask my endocrinologist to do it because he is more qualified with my case. He wanted to send me to the neurologist who diagnosed me with Munchaussen 4 years ago and I told him that I consider this guy dead. So he told me to go back to my endocrinologist.

So I hope that my endocrinologist will be willing to try a new med when I will see him in a few weeks.

I see doctors in a different way now. I have the "one night stand". These are the ones that I see only once because they think I am a desperate case. I have the ones I see from 2-5 times and give up on me when they can't figure out my case. I have not kept a doctor for more than 5 visits so far.

My PCP gave up on me a long time ago but I still keep him because he fills all my paper work.

I feel that getting medical help is like playing chess. I have to think about every move I do. It's also like I have to convince doctors to take my case. Very few are interested in it. I am very challenging and most of them like easy cases.

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I know just how you feel. I've had a few similiar experiences over the past few months. I kinda have to remind myself that I am the patient and I have a right to ask questions and such. You can't let how someone else acts make you feel down. Just keep doing what you think is best for you and if that means going to the Dr, then by all means go. He might have just had an off day and next time will be better.

Take Care

Kim

Edited by MightyMouse
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Guest tearose

Hi Kit, yeah there have been blue doctor days and black doctor days! :ph34r::o:blink:

I have learned how to not take it personally. I now come out and say "hey, are you having a bad day or do we need to talk about something?" I'm always polite and firm.

I worked too hard and long to develop a good relationship with my pcp to allow a bad feeling or thought to sour it. I know you too work at as a team with your doc! I suggest that if you have ANY uncomfortable feelings when you next to see him, address it right there...or call from home if you need to follow up!

I also take a small token of thanks to my pcp once in a while and let him know I appreciate all he does for me and with my medical team to keep me as healthy as possible. It may only be a small box of cookies or a little note, but maybe you'll feel better if you remind your doctor that you value good communication and all...

hope this helps!

hugs, tearose

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Tearose, Those faces just cracked me up!!! I just about fell out of my chair. I haven't laughed so hard in weeks. And, Ernie- it IS like playing Chess. I have never come across such a perfect way to say it. I don't know why I thought that I was so alone. Everyone's responses has made me feel so much warmer tonight. I know that you all have alot going on and my problem is small compared to what many of you are facing. But your time and responses have made me feel so much better. I don't think that I could find a group of people who better understand the struggles of this syndrome. You inspire me.

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Hi,

I have had doctors admit that they don't know what to do with me, but they try to help me out. My cardio at home referred me to an EP/cardio in Boston because he knew that I would get more help there. As far as the medical world has gotten with POTS, etc. there is still so much out there that they don't know about this whole ordeal...

I also agree that if this is the first time you have had a problem with this doc then to give him another chance. I know sometimes I forget that doctors are human beings just like us and have their own probs. I hope your next visit goes smoothly....Oh, I do get the "why are you here today..." from docs. Sometimes they just want me to refresh the symptoms I have been having, etc.

Jacquie

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Yes, and it is very demeaning. I had to go to the ER last week, and my blood work was off so the ER doc told me to follow up with my primary, so I made an appt with her the next day. When I got there I waited over 2 hours in the exam room, I was about ready to just leave when her husband came in. He didnt even give me a chance to hardly say anything. he just told me that he wasnt a pill doctor and there was nothing wrong with my heart that I was having an anxiety attack. I was so furious that I didnt even show him the lab reports. He gave me a scrpt for Xanax, even though I am not supposed to take it, and he knows it. I came home and just broke into tears. She told me that she would always be there for me, even if I just needed someone to talk to. I told my husband that I was so tired of doctors treating me like I am crazy or out for pills or something, that when I finally get my final diagnosis I just might shove them in their faces. We are at there mercy and they know it. My problem is the only very good doctors in this town are not taking on new patients, so I dont have a choice of where to go. Hang in there, hopefully it will get better. Vanessa

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