purplefocus Posted July 21, 2005 Report Share Posted July 21, 2005 Today is the 4th anniversary of my moms death and I feel hopeless. I normally have a positive outlook even if it doesn't mean I go back to work or back to the way I was several years ago, but today I feel like what is the use. I get up and struggle everyday to just get to nite time. My symptoms are up and down, I never know how I am gonna be so I never can make plans. Today though, it just kinda hit me, like why bother, what's the use, who am I benefitting........I cause more work on everyone around me.......i'm not productive in any form. I am hoping that i'm just in a depression from missing my mom so much, I haven't felt like this since the beginning of my illness when I had to face the fact I could no longer work. It's just the thought that if this is the way the rest of my life is gonna be.......then what is the purpose. I'm sorry for being so down, I just didn't know where else to go. My husband has enough problems and my family and friends don't need to hear this. Hopefully today will go by quickly and I will feel better tomorrow. Thanks for listening. purplefocus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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