About To Give Up

[micheller]

I've seen my neuro twice. The last appt she wanted to refer me to a hematologist because of low blood count and extremely low iron. She said she had to send the refer to my primary so she could suggest a local hematologist, my neuro is 2 hours away. I called my primary yesterday to see if they got the referral, nope. Called my neuro to see why it wasn't sent, had to leave a message, haven't heard anything back yet. I was supposed to have an appt for a follow up with my neuro's assistant yesterday but cancelled. When I called to cancel, I asked what my appt next week was for. They said it was for a follow up with my neuro. And neither can be over the phone. I don't get why I would have to have 2 follow up appts a week after one another. If I lived closer it wouldn't be a big deal but I have 3 kids and can't just jump in my car and leave. Not to mention the 2 hour drive is rough for me. They know I'm not local. Since they are a medical college hospital I guess I was assuming they would be more flexible. I'm just sick of the run around and not getting anywhere. I'm doing 'ok' without meds so I'm about to call off seeing a specialist completely and just deal with it.

To top it off, we moved in with my fiance's parents which has been super stressful. 4 adults, 4 kids, 5 dogs, and 2 cats is testing my patience. Lol We have to sleep in the basement and it's making my allergies and head symptoms flare horribly! I've been trying to keep up with the housework since I don't work but it's so draining. His dad had a drunken fit a few nights ago saying I'm lazy, don't do anything, I neglect my kids because I sit outside and read while they play. I have to clean up a trashed kitchen every morning even though I cleaned it before I went to bed, keep up with all the laundry, house train their one puppy, make all meals, clean the house, and take care of my kids. I guess this turned more into a rant but I'm beyond frustrated.

[jpjd59]

Michelle:

So sorry to hear what you are going through. The stress that you are having would be hard for a healthy person to deal with, let alone having POTS and trying to do all that you are doing.

Try and stay strong - there have to be better days ahead!!

[Maiysa]

Oh my, the lazy thing. So sorry, most people just don't get it, since it's an invisible disease. And to top it off, so hard to reason with a drunk too. Hang in there. Do what you have to do to get through this chapter in your life. Can you ask someone to drive you to your appointment? I know it's hard to ask, but worth a try.

Will say a prayer for you to give you strength.

Maiysa

[Mytwogirlsrox]

Hi Michelle,

I totally hear you on the family thing, I'm living with my parents right now with my two kids and it can get crazy around here. I feel like all I do it clean, do laundry, cook, clean, clean and grocery shop clean and clean some more lol.. But I think I really lucky that my parents have the room for us, can get to know my babies (we've always lived far away from them) plus I have company when I'm not feeling so well. How long do you plan on staying with the outlaws?

[mwise]

So sorry about the family thing. It is hard enough to deal with this disease let alone living with future in-laws. Is there any other place you could live? I don't know your financial status, but hopefully this is only short term. I would make every effort to keep your appt. and would try if at all possible to find someone to drive you. Could someone maybe stay with the kids that day you have to go to help you out? Is there anyone else to help with the household chores? Could your children help-maybe make it something you all do together to help take some of it off you. I will keep all of you in my prayers that things will get better. Sending hugs to you.

[sue1234]

The one gem I took out of this is you're anemic, which means you have a chance of feeling better!! Plus, it may improve your POTS symptoms once it is addressed. If I were you, I would do what I could to make it to the appt. and make sure they send the referral to get that ball rolling.

It may be your fiance's turn to sit with you and discuss with his parents your limitations.

[Dizzysillyak]

I agree with sue. Low iron can make you feel horrible. Don't be afraid to push for your prescriptions. Most times it's the squeeky patient who gets the script. lol ..

Oh and I'd let my fiancee deal with his parents too. It will sound better coming from him.

Fwiw. Low iron is a common symptom of celiac disease. Tc .. D

[Lemons2lemonade]

michelle, it sounds like life is giving you a rough time right now. Try to keep your head up the best you can. Sometimes new living situations take some time to get used to. In the mean time, try to find a quiet place where you can relax--even if its the bathroom.Take deep breaths, imagine a quiet serene place. As far as helping out around the house, pace yourself and try not to overdo it. You'll get more done doing a little slowly each day, then a whole lot on one day followed by a crash. Additionally, i don't know what age your kids are, but maybe it would help by having them pick up some chores. It will teach them good lessons about life as well. As far as your to-be-father in law, people have opinions, especially older men, about how they think things should be. Doesn't mean things are that way or should be that way. Sometimes using guilt trips on people like that is the best. Like saying in a calm, relaxed tone: insert their name, i am doing the best i can here. Another thing that works really well is thanking people for patient behavior (positive reinforcement): thank you for your patience. Additionally, resolving conflict works well if you just address it. Sit down one on one and tell him what he said and how it made you feel. Use your own judgement though on the appropriateness of the situation, of course. I have learned that a lot of other people expect you to perform to their standards, so that they have to do less. This is ridiculous in my opinion, and i have had to learn more than anything with disease to stand up for myself and say ,"no".