So Frustrated

[GingerA]

I guess I just need to vent. My dad is back in the hospital after his heart attack and he has just emotionally given up. He refuses to talk or eat despite the fact that the doctors say the physically he could get better. I went to the hospital and sat with him for three days and now I'm so sick I can't get up. I can't eat anything but popcorn with out getting sick on my stomach. Sitting up makes me dizzy and I hurt so bad that my skin is tender. Still I am guilt ridden because I am not at the hospital with him. On top of that it is my husband's weekend to work (he is a police office in another city) so he will not be home until Sunday night which means I am home with the kids by myself until then. They are bored and don't understand why I can't get up and play with them or cook anything more than sandwiches. Man! I hate this!

[sue1234]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I myself also feel guilty when I can't help during family events, much less a crisis like you are going through. Sometimes the best we can do is take care of ourselves first, as it is a "must" for so that we can do basic functioning.

Your dad I'm sure is depressed about having a life-threatening illness, and also as a result of is illness. Maybe a doctor could address that part of his illness to get his motivation going again.

[GingerA]

Sue,

The doctors are trying. They have run tests to see if there is any mind damage or mental disease. All tests are negative. They have tried medications to give him energy and stablize his moods but nothing is working so far. I just feel helpless.

[lieze]

I'm so sorry.

I was a nurse in a nursing home for 20 years and the one person that I took care of that my mind goes back to and I have cried thinking about it wishing I could have done something but it was a man that gave up and quit eating.

Oh I could cry now and am starting to thinking about it.

Everyday we would go in and offer him food and offer his pills and he refused. It is so sad.

All the people I took care of I'm not sure why that case is the one stuck in my mind.

At the time I was so desensitized to watching people die it barely phased me but now my heart grieves for him in that situation-what he must have been thinking and feeling.

How alone he must have felt.

I just wish I could have done something.

I'm so sorry that people suffer.

All people that get sick and hurt physically and psychologically.

I wish there was something I could do now in my own weakened state to help others.

I guess we can pray and trust in God.

I understand your situation with the kid's. I'm in the same boat-my husband travels too so I understand the stress this puts on you and the fact that you wish you could just get up and function normally and do it all.

In my case even when I could I was in constant emotional turmoil never at peace for all of the things I wanted to accomplish that I couldn't.

Now like you I have to have gratitude that I can get up and make a sandwich.

I'm gonna pray for your Dad.

I wish I could do more I really do.

[brethor9]

Hang in there Ginger! Sending hugs and positive vibes your way......

Bren

[gertie]

Ginger, I've been in your situation & I know the guilt of not feeling well enough to go to the hospital to be with a family member. Take care of you & your children first.

I don't know if this relates to your dad's situation or not but when my son had a heart attack he became very depressed, gave up on life & would actually cry. It was heart breaking to watch him suffer. After a little research we found that it was one of the drugs he was taking that was causing this side effect. He stopped the drug & has been fine since then. I've also heard from others that the same drug caused their family member the same symptoms. I've forgotten the name of the drug but If you think that might be a factor with your dad I will try to find out the name of the med. Good luck!