Update On My Mom

[tinkerbella]

I finally made it down to Cape Cod MA to visit my mom. It's funny how things get in the way and prevent one from getting to where they want to be at one time or another, but it just wasn't meant to be back when the snow storms were hitting us and the Cape. My brother ventured the snow and mom didn't know who his was or any of the grand kids. Everyone left in tears thinking that was her last day.

So, before we arrived we were warned that she was looking really bad. My daughter had skyped down there and had seen her and warned me also, on the way down talking we got lost somehow and ended up in RI. My daughter frustrated about her mistake and I reminded her in life that I used to get mad whenever I got side tracked or late for a place I was suppose to be and often found an accident in the road that would have been in about the place I would have been. That chanced my way of thinking and since then I began to enjoy the adventures I went on whether late or not. I believe God put obstacles in my way to protect me from harms way.

When we finally arrived mom was sitting in her recliner chair and they said she is having a good day. She came out of her bed room and wanted to sit up. When I waked into the room she said is something wrong with you. Now she really does not talk since the strokes. She usually just reads words written down on paper.My sisters were in awe and I said do you know who I am and she did. Still my sisters were in awe. Then my granddaughter who is 5 let the magic begin and the bond between an 90 year old great grandmother and great grandchild began. She started writing down words for her. What is your favorite color? what is your favorite flower? I love you.... This went on and on. ; ) ( : What a Blessing this was the two of them... a little girl touching an old woman making her happy for a short bit of time.

My mom tired out and needed to take a long nap the sisters made piece so to speak. My niece the social worker was so amazed that what my mom had done that day she thought the doctor wouldn't believe it. I captured a lot on my camera till it filled my card. I will have to sent it to her doctor. The are expecting the big stroke any time now. I'm the only one is has called the right name. When I was ready to leave I wrote down this and took it to her: Mom I'm getting ready to go home now and if you want to go home to Heaven now to it's OK. I want you to know I love you Bella~ She looked at each word and read them and then looked at me and said I don't want to go to Heaven now, I want to go to the bathroom. God Bless you.

So, I guess you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink is true. Mom may look ready to go on heaven's path stuck in what look's like, a frustrated, useless, body that is sitting in a chair waiting for the big one to come but she made it loud and clear that she had other priorities. I pray that she just drifts off in her sleep in peace. May she be surrounded with loved ones and memories of those who do lo love her. I've seen her we have hugged and kissed and if we are not able to be there again I'm at peace. Driving away was the hardest part of all......

On another sad note my uncle died yesterday... although he lived a full life he was a wonderful man my dad's brother who I miss dearly. I found out yesterday he had Parkinson's which is a new piece to my family medical history. He was always trying to help me fill in the blanks to what might be wrong with me, by piecing the family medical puzzle together. May he rest in peace. Love you uncle hug my daddy for me....

Well, that's why I haven't really been around till the past few days. I've been doing a lot of thinking....

Hope you are all well.

Blessings to all~*

Love,

BellaMia~*

[juliegee]

"I don't want to go to heaven- I want to go to the bathroom." That is priceless, Dear Bella. I am so happy that you finally got your visit and that your Mom was so lucid. What a blessing indeed. How magical that she KNEW you.

I hope your heart is lighter.

Hugs-

Julie

[Notgivinup]

I cried. I laughed. Thanks for sharing.

[potsgirl]

Dear BellaMia~

You are such a sweet and caring woman, always willing to give to others. My life has been enriched since I've known you. I'm so glad that you got to visit your mother, and sorry to hear about your uncle. You've been through so much lately. I pray that your troubles will lighten and that your gift of humor in the difficult times continues. You are a very special person.

Positive thoughts and blessings your way,

Jana

[Maxine]

BellaMia,

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. How nice it was that your mother was able to talk with you!

You have such a gentle and kind spirit, and I pray for God to continue giving you strength.

BIG HUG to you.

Maxine :0)

[tinkerbella]

maxine,

That is soooooo beautiful. Thank you for posting that for me. Before I saw it, I just had a strange experience. I went to the kitchen and grabbed something to eat and I walked through the living room and smelled the strong smell of flowers. There are none and I don't have a strong sense of smell anyone. Butterflies are a sign for me, and the flower you posted is one of my mom's favorites. I don't know if you believe in those kind of things, but it sure gave me and great big

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww moment and let me know all is well with mom. She is at peace. I'm at peace.

Thanks for always being so thoughtful... thanks for being you~

Love,

Bellamia~

[tinkerbella]

I'm so exhausted as my uncle was laid to rest yesterday. It brought up a lot of emotional mud and sad feelings thinking about the loss of my dad, my uncle's brother. I've been thinking of much about life and death lately, as I see so much of people hanging in there having chemo treatments while I'm being infused. Just lost my room mate last month and I'm just feeling sad. How sad the end seems to be for many who make it old and live with dementia.

It was nice to see my family that I haven't seen in several years. We all wished we had gotten together more often, talked about all the wonderful memories we've had over the years, and made plans to get together more in the future.

Many tears were shed, and I felt the presence of my dad there, and knowing that soon mom would most likely be the next reason for a big family gathering was something I couldn't get out of my mind. Mom still rally's back on forth from day to day. Every time the phone rings I think it's the call that she has gone home to Heaven. The good thing is my family is all back together again and I found out it happens to the best of families when a parent is dying.

I guess I learned a lot these past few days about my family coming together as a circle of love and support, and although I did a lot of sitting it was nice to be out and reconnecting with family and people I love.

xxx's

Bellamia~