bellajulz Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 What l use to be: Independent mommy of 3 little ones.. Worked full time as a police dispatcher/9-1-1 operator, worked 12 hr. shifts on graveyard.. On my days off I would work on a business of my own (framed poetry) along with everyday day to day life! I lived alone, was dating, my daily workout was kickboxing and playing with my kiddos One evening (Sept. 2008) out of the blue I fainted without warning, this was the beginning to my now.... My mother became my caretaker very graciously. In December I was dx after numerous hospital stays , my cardio advised me to move immediately out of my home which had mold in the closet, I moved out within a week, by this point I could no longer work, drive , bathe on my own ( too weak) or care for my children without help or even stand without fainting. I became housebound in a new home (no mold). I was never left alone . I fainted many times and was transported by ambulance so many times due to my stop of breathing during the worst fainting bouts.This leads me to my question... I haven't fainted in a month, I can pretty much tell when I am going to faint though I am limited as to how much I can do since I have fainted standing, sitting and while in bed. My family is very close and over protective (even when I'm healthy) but times this by 100 now... I want to start venturing on my own, I have slowly begun walking to the park around the block or my community pool 2 blks away from my house. This freaks everyone out!!!! I try to explain that if I do something it's because I'm up for it, I wouldn't put myself or my children in danger. Last night I was feeling depressed and frustrated and bored, (kids were gone at their dad's) so I went for a short walk to the pool alone to clear my head... well this enraged my family who said I was immature and trying to get attention by worrying everyone. (I?m 29 by the way not 15). Well this of course was the opposite of what I was trying to do, I want everyone to back off to leave me alone and not have a say in everything I do. Though which by the way is impossible since I am pretty much home bound aside from my short walks to the park down the street. My mom still lives with me and has continued to be my full time caretaker, (which I feel I no longer need). Please help me and tell me if you feel I am being unreasonable? I just feel that my entire life has been stripped away, and it?s so heartbreaking for me. I feel so smothered, as I have a constant babysitter, (though for my own good they do this, I know) I try telling my mom she can move out and that I can call her when I need her help, but she refuses stating that I'm not well enough. The horrible part that she's half right... My siblings have also all pitched in to help me, but I don't have anyone that understands. They believe it's unsafe for me to drive or to be alone. Which is sadly partly true still.. I was looking into a service dog as I think this would help, though most of the wait lists are at least 2 years... Any ideas would be so helpful... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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