all4family Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 Hi Everyone,I just really needed to get this off my chest before my head explodes!!! I am so frusterated right now! All I want is to get the house clean so I can enjoy this upcoming weekend, and I can't even get one room done. My family pitches in and does a lot, but never near the same as the way I used to keep house! Oh I have let a LOT of things go. I let my husband do the laundry which was unheard of before! (I know I should just be grateful to have a husband that does laundry!!) but right now I don't feel that way. I WANT TO DO IT! I used to love getting my house just the way I want it, and now I am happy if I can see the floor in all rooms. It is so depressing. I try really hard. I do. I crawled on the floor today trying to get piles of laundry together, and I was just so out of breath that even talking made me almost faint. I don't know how else I can do these things. I don't know a way to make it easier so I can. I don't know if it is the bending, or the standing, but I want to be able to conquour this battle. I know it seems like a stupid thing to worry about, but I just feel like such a nothing sometimes. I feel like if I can't even do this, then what am I? Who I am shouldn't be defined by this I know, but I am starting to wonder if I will ever be who I am again. Or if who I am is lost forever. I am sorry to be on my pitty potty, I guess I am just all out of positives for the day. Thanks for listening. I know everyone has their own things going on....just needed to get it out. Suzy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernie Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 Hi,I feel just the same. Last week someone asked me what I expected of others. I replied that I only expected doctors to find a medication to help me be autonomous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firewatcher Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 dust is a protective coating for furniture Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
all4family Posted March 31, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 Hi Ernie, thank you. I am glad I am not the only one to feel this way! I had to look up the word autonomous though!Hi Jennifer, thank you so much for the laugh! I think you are right though! I am leaving the dust just where it sits!take care, and thanks again,Suzy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lotsicker Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 This is a daily stuggle for me as well. My hubby is a firefighter and he works ALL night, comes home to clean, cook , do the shopping and NEVER complains...I feel so guilty!!! I just want him to come home to a good meal, clean house and shopping done...all I can do is feed the boys and take them to activities...IF THAT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Broken_Shell Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 Hi Suzy,I send hugs, hugs, and more hugs. I hear you. I finally started some long overdue Spring cleaning, and I feel the same way. I am trying to clean in 10 minute intervals, and I can barely manage. Today I pushed myself so hard just to be able dust one dresser... I was nearly clinging on to the dresser and praying "please God, just let me dust one dresser - just let me get this one thing done." All said, it took five minutes, but it took a lot longer than that to recover from! At least I could be proud that one dresser got dusted. Maybe I can dust another one tomarrow. It is crazy the way that we have to try to do things. Like you, all I want to do is be well enough to clean, grocery shop, wash every dish in the house, do laundry, etc... even take care of my pet hermit crabs without getting ridiculously light-headed and out of breath and praying that I make it back to the couch to lay down. It is amazing the things that can be taken for granted and complained about by people when they don't realize what a blessing having the ability to do these things really is! Hang in there - we are all here supporting one another. Good luck with your next attempt at laundry... who knows, maybe we'll both accomplish something yet this week. I'll be in the hospital for some testing on Wednesday and Thursday, but maybe I can dust one more dresser before the weekend... maybe even a bookcase if I get really lucky! Hugs Again, Broken_Shell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellajulz Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 Hi there, I am new to posting, but just wanted to let you know that I too am having the same kinda week. Being positive is usually my strength, but this week I am just frusterated and mad that I can no longer fend for myself. From driving to putting the dishes where they belong. I actually wanted to say thank you for sharing your frusterations, because I was feeling very guilty and silly about it. Though reading your post showed me that its maybe just part of what we are all going through while we must learn to live with POTS. I really do hope you feel better and have better days! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janiedelite Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 Suzy, I totally understand how frustrating it is to hardly be able to do anything except lay down, and when you're laying down all you see is a messy house. Laundry is especially tough! But I got the coolest present last year for my birthday... a rolling laundry cart! It's just my hubby and I, and he knows how hard it is for me to pick stuff up off the floor. Most of his dirty stuff actually does end up in the cart! We have hardwood floors, so I just lean on my cart and roll away! Now if I could just figure out a way to clean those cobwebs off the ceiling...... Janie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carinara Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 I do all my housework in slow motion and sitting on an ordinary office chair with rolls on. I roll from room to room and its working very well. Maybe you can try it also, carinara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
all4family Posted April 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Hi everyone,Thank you so much for your replies. I am so sorry I didn't get back sooner. My laptops cord stopped working, and I tried to repair my dinasour desktop just to use it, and it took me all day yesterday! (I least I didn't have to move it anywhere!!!! ha ha!)Hi Kimi, I feel for you. My husband used to be a sheriff, and he worked the night shift. I wasn't sick at the time, but I know I felt real guilty if he didn't get sleep. I sure would like to have a hot meal even in a halfway clean house for my hubby now! Thank you for sharing that!Hi Broken_shell, thank you so much for the hugs, and the understanding! Hugs, hugs and more hugs back! I know what you mean about not appreciating just being able to do things. If you had told me before I got sick that I would appreciate the ability to do dishes, or laundry, I probably would have said yes I do appreciate it. But I don't think I truly would have understood. There is a saying "I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet." I don't know who wrote it, but it is so true....by the way I think maybe we should consider firewatchers advice, maybe the furniture needs that dust!!! Hi Bellajulz, I am so glad you posted.....thank you for telling me that sharing this made you feel better. I keep feeling like "I can't keep going there with all my problems!" So that makes me feel better that me sharing that helped you feel better. I feel better reading your post, and the others knowing that I am not alone!!! Sharing is a great thing! I hope you feel better, and have better days too!!!Hi Janie, That is a great idea! I do have a few rolling carts for laundry....I bought them to sort my laundry in my laundry room, but I didn't think of it for collecting the laundry with. I put hampers all around my house, but my husband always takes them to use when he does laundry, because he doesn't like to put it away, so he puts it in the hampers!! So all my dirty laundry ends up on the floor!!!! I have carpet in my house, but want to get wood floors throughout. But that at least would solve the issue of carrying it all back to the laundry room! Thanks so much for sharing that!! (hey maybe cobwebs protect paint huh?)Hi Carinara, Thats a great idea! I have 2 rolling office chairs, and my kids are always pushing themselves around on them...I will just have to steal them back from my kids!!!Thank you all so much for sharing! It helps to know that I am not alone. Maybe one day we can all do these things again!!!! I am hopeful anyways!! Take care everyone, and thank you so much!HugsSuzy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iheartcats Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 I feel for you. But I thought of a bunch of little pink elephants running about so at least it made me laugh.I grew up with a very neat grandmother. My mother is also very into cleaning. But I have to accept clean enough. It's hard for me. I so understand.Just do what you can and be happy what you accomplish. I keep a list of tasks and like to scratch them off when I do one. Makes me happy! Something done!Laundry seems to get the priority because it must be done. Then cat stuff. Everything else tumbles behind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firewatcher Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 My house is trashed, my yard is full of weeds and most of my clothes are in laundry baskets surrounding the walls of my bedroom like sandbags in a bomb shelter. I do what I can, my husband really does a lot and I feel guilty for it, but gosh darn it, I have the kids and the whole kit and kaboodle when he is gone! I KNOW that whatever I actually get done during the day is what needs to be done. If I get hit by a bus, I won't die wishing that I had spent more time folding laundry! I feel your pain, I'd love to be able to do more, but I can't. My finite energy must be spent on things worthwhile, so must yours!Take care of yourself, sweetie, your kids and husband will thank you for it. YOU are far more important than a clean floor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
all4family Posted April 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Hi Cat Lady, that is hysterical! I am glad I made you laugh. You made me laugh too! All I can think of is dumbo when he sees all the pink elephants! Or Winnie the pooh! I have a family too that believes that all things should be perfect. I won't let many people past my front door!Thank you for saying that, because I just need to be happy with what I can accomplish. When I was first sick, or when I am worse I don't even attempt laundry, or any cleaning. That is when I just hope for the next minute to be better then the one before! I like your idea of a check list. I have done that before, and found I was doing more then I thought I was! Sometimes I am happy if I comb my hair by myself!!!!Yes for me it is kids first, laundry second, and dogs third! But really I make the kids take care of the dogs My poor husband! Anyways, thanks for understanding.Suzy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
all4family Posted April 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 My house is trashed, my yard is full of weeds and most of my clothes are in laundry baskets surrounding the walls of my bedroom like sandbags in a bomb shelter. I do what I can, my husband really does a lot and I feel guilty for it, but gosh darn it, I have the kids and the whole kit and kaboodle when he is gone! I KNOW that whatever I actually get done during the day is what needs to be done. If I get hit by a bus, I won't die wishing that I had spent more time folding laundry! I feel your pain, I'd love to be able to do more, but I can't. My finite energy must be spent on things worthwhile, so must yours!Take care of yourself, sweetie, your kids and husband will thank you for it. YOU are far more important than a clean floor.I thought I had accidentally sleep walked into my living room, and told everyone what my house looks like!!! Thank you so much for saying that. I think I know it somewhere in my head, but I feel so guilty sometimes! I thought if I ever knew why I was sick I wouldn't feel so bad anymore, but I do! My husband has really let go of expecting anything of me, but I need to! I am gearing up right now trying to think of how to make dinner, and have sent him to the store for food for my famous burittos. I have gotten a pattern down, of prep, go lay down, cook, while I'm laying down, and back and forth and back and forth! But the problem is when I do that I can't usually eat for a few hours afterwords, and I feel bad for a while afterwords. We do a lot of prepared stuff, but somtimes I just like to cook, and it saves money. But you are so right, if I died today I would regret not laying on the floor and eating with my family and ejoying there company. I wouldn't regret not having run back and forth like a lunatic, trying to cook, and then crying my eyes out in the bedroom because everyone is eating, and having a good time without me once again. I hope I said that right!!! brain fog!Well I am so happy that I got your message when I did. I am taking your advice as I type! My husband just called, and I said I wanted to make my burritos for dinner tonight, but....and he interupted me and said I'll grab some pizza's while I'm out! What a guy! Thank you so much! I am going to save a copy of this, and whenever I don't feel worth much I will come back and read the words that I am worth far more then a clean floor! Ok...all teary now! gotta go. Thanks so muchHugs Suzy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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