Morning funny !!!!

[Sue]

What doctors SAY, and what they're really THINKING

"This should be taken care of right away."

(I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is

so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it

cures itself.)

"Welllllll, what have we here...?"

(He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue.)

"Let me check your medical history."

( I want to see if you've paid your last bill before

spending any more time with you. )

"Why don't we make another appointment later in the

week."

(I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of

time.

--or--

I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another

office visit.)

"We have some good news and some bad news."

(The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW.

The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.)

"Let's see how it develops."

(Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that

can be cured.)

"Let me schedule you for some tests."

(I have a forty percent interest in the lab.)

"I'd like to have my associate look at you."

(He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a

bundle)

"I'd like to prescribe a new drug."

(I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a

guinea pig. )

"If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."

(I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by

itself.)

"That's quite a nasty looking wound."

(I think I'm going to throw up.)

"This may smart a little."

(Last week two patients bit off their tongues.(

"Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?"

(I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you

here? )

"This should fix you up."

(The drug company slipped me some big bucks to

prescribe this stuff.)

"Everything seems to be normal."

(Rats! I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after

all.)

"I'd like to run some more tests."

(I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the

lab can solve this one.)

"Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting

your nerves?"

(You're crazier than outhouse rat. Now, if I can only

find a shrink who'll split fees with me ...)

"There is a lot of that going around."

(Good grief, that's the third one this week. I'd

better learn something about this.)

"If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment."

(I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Sure

glad I'm off next week.)

[MightyMouse]

Cute I saw that on NDRF from Sophia--she and I used to exchange funnies all the time. I think it's nice to have some lighter stuff here that we can laugh at...laughter being the best medicine and all that

I collect quotes. Here are a few on medicine:

A physician is nothing but a consoler of the mind.

[Lat., Medicus nihil aliud est quam animi consolatio.]

-- Petronius (Petronius Arbiter)

Source: Satyricon

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.

--Voltaire

[purplefocus]

Hey Sue and Nina,

I am having a tough morning but reading ya's post has lightened me up abit. Thanks, now I think I can handle the rest of my morning. I think I will go see if I can find more "funnies" about doctors. Oh and by the way any suggestions on how to tame a 3 year old........?!?!?

Paige

[ethansmom]

That was pretty funny, I enjoyed it and thanks for sharing! I especially like the one about the BMW