Can You Make Plans & Ever Keep Them

[gertie]

I probably shouldn't feel this way but I just don't have a life. I mean I never seem to get to do anything I really want to do. My DH plans every day. He tells me the day before that tomorrow he will take me shopping. Well, it's here & I have a migraine & don't feel lifting my head much less riding & shopping. That has ruined his day. A few days ago I had a little energy & thought I would like do something, he already had plans that day, so I stayed home. I feel I have so many health problems now I shouldn't try going for long distances by myself. If I don't start going alone I'm never going to get to do anything. I can't expect DH to plan his life around how I feel. Any suggestions how to cope with this? Thanks.

[sue1234]

I cannot plan anything, mostly because I can't do anything most of the time. On those few times I feel I can walk into a store for 5 minutes, I spontaneously do it---no planning to do it.

I definitely can never host a family get-together, other than my kids. All of my extended family get togethers are at my sister's house or elsewhere. I just show up, most of the time.

I would have enjoyed taking one of those online free college level courses, but I'll have a week or two where I am at my normal, and then a week or a month where I just cannot think. So, I don't even start things like that.

I don't drive, so I am used to not doing things(not that I like it that way).

[gertie]

Thanks for your reply. I think I understand how you feel. My grown son & family came in for for couple of hours on Mothers day & altho I enjoyed them I was so exhausted by the time they left I was physically ill . No one seems to understand that kind of fatigue especially my DH. Sometimes I think I can go out for awhile but before I actually get there I have to come back home. That is especially embarrassing for me, it makes me look & feel like a weak person. I'm hoping you get where you can take those college courses. Don't give up!

[Bigskyfam]

Understand . My hubby feels like I'm selective about what I do...like not going to fam members house or going to park instead or grocery store vs Home Depot(his fav place to go) I rest up to go to work bc we need the money and I need insurance, instead of wanting to spend as much time with the family and Fam life. My hubby is a go go go guy. I was an in between kinda gal. I Enjoyed the busy time and the down time. Hard to adjust

[gertie]

Thanks Bigskyfam, my husband is an on the go guy also & I'm glad he is. If he was like me I couldn't take it. A trip to the grocery store is a big days work for me & it has to be a spur of the moment thing when I think I can get through it. I don't think they will ever understand. I hope I finally get to the point of not trying to please everyone else. Do what you enjoy!

[ophelialit]

Ugh. This is the bane of my existence; we live in Dallas, and there are always a million events going on....every weekend, all week, all the time. Wine festivals and baseball games, and festivals and concerts and art exhibits and.....well, you get the idea. All of these are, of course, ticketed and have to be planned in advance; my fiancee is forever offering to get us tickets so we can get out and have an adventure or two, but I start filling with dread the minute the topic comes up. Of COURSE I want to go, but the last thing on Earth want is for him to spend money on tickets that may go to waste if I wake up on that particular day feeling tired, dizzy, headache-y, nauseated, breathless, whatever. He understands, but I can't help feeling as if I'm not too much fun from time to time....and I used to be such a good time!