bebe127 Posted December 31, 2012 Report Share Posted December 31, 2012 I am a Potsy, but I am posting this here instead because this doesn't necessarily have anything to do with POTS other than causing me to be symptomatic.Bit of background...I am the type of person that doesn't let things slide. I can't just "let things go". I have to talk about it, harp about it, vent about it, and even then it is still not out of my system...I dream about it. I am a rule follower (for the most part) and believe in treating others as you would want to be treated. I am the type of person that takes anything and everything to heart, all the while knowing that by doing so it might negatively affect me. I can feel my heart rate rise as I write this.I can't stand it when people use social networks, ie: Facebook to post snippy comments about you without naming you (you of course know they are meant just for you). I mean seriously, are we in high school still? It is even more sad when the person posting the snippy comment is your sibling.I have a sibling that none of my other siblings get along with. I am the only one that speaks to said sibling. We talk all the time on the phone, but thankfully live hundreds of miles away from each other. I can't stand to be around my own sibling when we are together, but somehow are able to get along fairly well on the phone. This particular sibling has issues (don't we all) however, I think a mentally healthy person has the ability to acknowledge at least some issues and work on improving them. To top it off, my father, whom I love dearly and have a great relationship with, refuses to see that this particular offspring of his is a total nightmare. He constantly enables, sticks up for and thinks that all of us other kids have "had it in for [this sibling] as long as [he] can remember".I have been symptomatic for two days over this whole thing. Emotional stress really kicks my POTS into high gear! I can't stand it and I can't get rid of it. I try to occupy myself with other things, that doesn't work. I try to pray, that doesn't work either. I try to read the Word, that isn't working. Now, I am trying to write about it as yet another venue to get it off my chest and out of my head. This isn't working either.Do any of you have this problem with emotional stress and/or it affecting your illness? I mean, all of us have emotional stress, obviously, but do any of you feel that it just goes to the extreme and there is nothing you can do to be rid of it? I wish I was the type to "just let it go". I feel as though I allow this sibling to hold me hostage emotionally. Why do I do this??? Is it just me, the way I'm made, my personality, or is it all of this compounded with the POTS that gets me to this place. I want off this ride...Ok, I'm done venting, well that's probably not true; give me a month maybe... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomtoGiuliana Posted December 31, 2012 Report Share Posted December 31, 2012 I'm sorry this is affecting your POTS so much and it is really too bad that your sibling used social media inappropriately to hurt you. I think sibling relationships, family relationships in general, are the most emotional relationships we have, typically. I have a sibling who I basically get along with, but it has to be on her terms, within her world and worldview. So we are not that close, and she does push my buttons and has said things that have upset me. Unfortunately a good many people have mental illness and it is not always fully treatable--or treated. It helps me to remind myself that she struggles with mental illness. Is it possible to let this sibling know how you feel, in as gentle a way as you can? I find many negative aspects to facebook and to electronic communication--people are not as genuine and/or feel comfortable saying things they would never say face to face. I find taking a break from facebook helps me at times! Hope you feel better about this situation soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bebe127 Posted January 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 1, 2013 Thanks MomtoGiuliana. I am feeling a bit better. I have decided to give it all up to the Lord. After a long talk with my wonderful husband, he helped me to realize that there is nothing I can do or say to change her or her views. I am just going to go ahead and say this sibling is a sister (so much easier than saying sibling all the time). Like your sibling, everything has to be on her terms, and I don't know about you, but with mine; it doesn't matter what I say or do, in her eyes, she is always right and everyone else is wrong, and as such there is no way for me to let her know how I feel, even gently.I feel sorry for her. She has successfully estranged herself from so many family and friends including her in-laws. Her spouse as a result has no relationship with his own family even. It is just so sad to me and maybe that is why it affects me so. I will just have to pray for her and let the Lord do His work. I cannot change anything and it is just not worth it for me to expend any more energy (that I don't have already) on this type of negativity.Good idea on the whole "taking a break" from FB and whatnot. I need to surround myself with positive thoughts and positive people.Blessings to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RubyLane Posted January 5, 2013 Report Share Posted January 5, 2013 My suggestion is to unfriend your sibling on FB. Drama seriously stresses me out as well and I've found that if I just eliminate it I feel better. I used to feel guilty about this because I wanted to be "nice" and not hurt any feelings. Not anymore! Put yourself first and know that you did your best. I am sorry you are going through this. Ruby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k&ajsmom Posted January 11, 2013 Report Share Posted January 11, 2013 Hi Bebe, I just posted my personal rant on here with emotional stress and ...stuff lol U sound like you have a similiar personality to me. Deal with an issue before it becomes a problem. Be straightforward and and you'll never have to watch your back. I always have to beat an issue till there is no life left in it...but its all with good intentions. Its to leave no seed of possible problems to grow.Im sorry your having this issue, I agree with Ruby, sadly you need to think of yourself and try to let go....difficult, but Im learning to spend "my spoons" wisely =) again easier said than done. If you cant find yourself to block them...then maybe write a letter explaining you dont want to lose them but you care so much that the stress of seeing these things is making your condition flare up...make them decide. Good luck and hang in there, family is hard - sarah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bebe127 Posted January 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 11, 2013 Thanks Sarah,I did take the route of writing her. Some might think that is the cowardly way out, but I tend to do better getting all my feelings down on "paper" so to speak than trying to remember everything over a phone call. The ball is in her court now, but she hasn't bothered to do anything with it. I have let it go. I also somewhat followed the advice of taking a break from her on FB. I didn't de-friend her, but did hide her stuff so I don't have to see it, but can still check in on her. It is such a shame as I am (was) the only sibling that she speaks to. Oh well, I have better things to save my spoons for, like my wonderful hubby, two beautiful gems, other family members and friends. One of my biggest triggers is emotional stress. The littlest thing bothers me; it took over a week for me to get over this one. I have learned, once again that I need to stay away from the negativity and focus on the positive. Thanks again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomtoGiuliana Posted January 11, 2013 Report Share Posted January 11, 2013 Bebe--I am glad you are feeling a little better. There have been studies now indicating that Facebook actually makes many people less happy. I have also "hidden" my sibling from my newsfeed. It makes my life less stressful if and when I do use FB. Sad to say, but it is good to recognize when someone is pushing your buttons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bebe127 Posted January 12, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2013 MomtoGiuliana,Thanks so much for your advice, I did take it and hid my sibling from my newsfeed. I didn't want to de-friend her as I do want to keep tabs on how she is doing. I do love her and only wish the best for her and her family, however there comes a time when we need to step away from the negativity and focus on the positive. I agree that FB can definately have a negative effect and as such will try to be more discerning in the future. Thanks again!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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