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A New Addition To Our Family!

janiedelite

By janiedelite
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janiedelite Newbie

janiedelite

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I've posted previously about our struggles with infertility (all tests were fine, but we still couldn't conceive) as well as with adoption (my diagnoses made it unlikely we'd be chosen as parents). We also had our questions about how I'd cope with as a parent with POTS, but the neurologist at Mayo encouraged us to proceed and we have a ton of family/friend/physician support as well.

My brother and sister-in-law have been foster parents for a couple years, and my husband works with several foster children as a Special Education teacher. I worked as a nanny for 4 years. We decided to go ahead and get certified as foster parents last year. I have support from my local physicians, and we have several relatives close by who could help if I'm having a really bad POTS day.

So, two weeks ago we had a 16-month-old girl placed with us! :blink::unsure::P She's SO active, but she sleeps 12 hours a night and takes long naps in the afternoon as well! She was placed with us because DHS knows our goal is to adopt and there's a good chance she'll be legally free, although the process will probably take a couple years. She is amazingly resilient, a bit small for her age, but otherwise is developmentally on track. If she ends up going back to her birth family, we'll go ahead and look at children of her age who are already legally free to adopt.

She had a cold when she arrived at our house, and I've caught it (of course) and now have a sinus infection :D . But I'm still so enjoying my new role as foster mom! And it feels really great to be helping this little one, if only temporarily.

Just wanted to share the news! :)

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potsgirl Newbie

potsgirl

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What wonderful news! I admire your generosity and kindness in opening your home to children in need. I myself, and my brother, were adopted, and I can't say enough good things about the foster care and adoption processes. Enjoy your new little one.

Cheers,

Jana

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janiedelite Newbie

janiedelite

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Was it difficult to get approved to be a foster family with your POTS?

Yes. We had initially taken the classes to get certified in June of 2009. I had a lot of fatigue at that time, and the organization who we looked to for placement placed mostly emotionally disturbed teens. They said that there was no guarantee that I'd have the breaks I needed to rest, so they didn't feel I was healthy enough to be a foster parent.

Early this year, we discovered a large mold problem in our home and got it cleaned up over two months' time. Since then, I have about 50% increase in energy. My increased energy level prompted us to re-examine the possibility of foster care. We ended up going straight through DHS this time, and have developed a great relationship with our social worker/certifier, who is conducting our home study for foster care and adoption. My doctor had to fill out paperwork outlining my diagnoses, symptoms, and how they would impact parenting. My doctor is aware of our desire to be parents and our long journey, and basically wrote that I could care for any child as long as I had a rest period each day.

Our certifier is just so happy to have found a loving, intelligent family in us. She understands my illness and limitations somewhat, and supports our request to not have more than one child, children with violent tendencies, or children with serious physical disabilities since stress makes me so sick. Initially, we told her we wanted only an elementary-aged child (because then I could rest while they are in school). We would prefer to adopt a younger child, knowing that we could give them the best start in life as early as possible. When she called us about placing this 16-month-old, I did hesitate but thought I'd give it my best effort.

My hubby and our mothers are extremely helpful and supportive. While I've struggled with this sinus infection, mornings have been so hard with heartrates over 140 and very low BP's. But she's so little that I can just lie down while I dress her and play with her until I get hydrated and get a bit more energy. I started antibiotics yesterday, so I should start feeling better in a day or so. My mom babysat yesterday for 3 hours while I went to urgent care to get a prescription. She'll babysit again for 2 hours this afternoon while I go to PT.

I'm not sure how I'll handle the summer months yet. Thank goodness my hubby is a teacher, so he'll be home with us to help me entertain her and he can take her outside to play. As you know, being a mom is tough but being a mom who is chronically ill sometimes feels impossible. But I'm determined to do my best :) !

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tinkerbella Newbie

tinkerbella

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congrats and wishing you the best!

bellamia~

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  • 2 weeks later...
janiedelite Newbie

janiedelite

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Thank you, everyone, for your kind support! It looks like our foster daughter will eventually be placed with some distant relatives in another state. It will probably take 6 months or more to get through all of the legal proceedings, though. In the meantime, hubby and I will finish with our adoption home study and will start looking at children who are already legally free in a month or so :lol: ! Yay! Having this little girl in our home has shown me that I'm able to care for a child of this age, so we'll probably look at children who are 16-months-old or younger. And, we've developed great relationships with all of the social workers involved.

One of our main obstacles doing private adoptions was my diagnoses and disabilities. Our child's social worker also facilitates adoptions and reassured me that my illness will not hinder us becoming adoptive parents through DHS. She said that if we are chosen as potential parents for a certain child and questions are raised about my disability, she will gladly be a reference for us and will verify that we are excellent parents, even with my limitations. Wow! I'm so thankful for this!

It's been a tough first month as a parent. I try to stay in bed until our little one wakes up, and then I get up slowly (salted fluids in hand), take my meds, and slowly get her up. We bathe her and lay out her clothes the previous night. We have a changing pad set up on a bed next to her crib so I can sit or lie and change and dress her. Getting breakfast is the toughest part of the morning, then I lie down afterward and play with her in her play room. I don't bathe til she goes down for an afternoon nap. Her social worker knows how I handle my illness while parenting her and has only praises for us for persevering and creating such a safe, loving home.

Being a parent has made life harder, but now that I know I can do it, I'm not going to give up. I'm so thankful to be able to help someone, and to make a difference. I didn't know if this would be possible. It's super hard, but mostly it feels like a dream come true. ;)

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