Still all knotted up...

[MightyMouse]

Hey all. I've been studying for my comprehensive exams and the stress is getting to me.

My guts are still exceptionally slow...despite adding a laxative daily. I've been very POTS-y too. But, at present, my spine is giving me ****.

I haven?t been able to study yesterday or today and am feeling so overwhelmed that I've not been able to get anything done?I?ve had neck pain for weeks, but I?m now so knotted up and had to take drugs to stop the muscle spasms and shooting pains that are running down my arms. The meds then make me fall asleep. I slept from 6:30 last night until 8 this morning. I can?t take the meds at work, and sitting at meetings all day today was... Well... Excruciating. Couldn?t stay in one position for more than a minute or so...must have seemed like a heck of a fidgety girl to everyone!

I came home and took more flexeril, but halved the dose I had yesterday thinking I might be able to study?but I can?t focus my eyes on the text; it?s too small!!!! HELP!!! (that's really rhetorical, I know there's nothing to do but be as I am at the moment). I can see the computer because I can set the screen to magnify text. Oh, and I had to buck up and call my neurologist about this pain, and he?s the one who had wanted me to get an MRI of my neck months ago...okay, last year if you say something like 11 months ago... And I had to confess to the nurse that I didn?t go and had ?lost? the script. I could almost hear the nurse?s eyes rolling on the other end of the phone as I told her I hadn?t gotten the test and couldn?t find the prescription. Basically, I have the same issue I went to him for last year but never followed up on because I was too freaked out about the thought of having something else go wrong with my uncooperative body, and my spine in particular. Not logical, I know, but I did it anyway. However, this morning I was scared into calling him because both my hands were partially numb when I woke up today and my right hand has never lost feeling before.

I feel so unprepared for this test... not like me to worry about failure. Like everyone else, I have pretest jitters and usually I get it the day of the test. This has been building for weeks though. I?m having my own personal pity party right now. Okay, I?m done. I just have to take the test on Saturday and let it be. I?m apologizing now if I?m a wreck for the next few days.

On a somewhat funny note--I was joking with a close friend of mine...she has IBS and has mostly problems with diahreah and cramping. We're taking the test together and I joked with her that we're exact opposites --my muslces and guts seize up and her guts just shoot everything out! We ought to make quite a pair on Saturady! The two of us will be trapped in that testing room from 8am to 4pm.

Ranting done for the moment. I'm going to try to study some statistics stuff on the web so I can read some test related stuff and not feel quite as insane about losing my study time because my body is such an uncooperative playmate.

Nina, twisted but still hanging on

[blackwolf]

Dear Nina,

OK, here we go,

Deep breath in, hold 1, 2, 3 out slowly

repeat at least 10 times

Apply heat or cold (your best relaxer)

for 10-20 minutes

drink your favorite thing

try, try again.

Hang in there, good luck

Blackwolf

[MightyMouse]

oh, yes, breathing... forgot about that No, really, I did. I guess you figured that out from my panicked rantings above. The flexeril makes me tired, woozy, and a bit hyper. Can you tell???

[blackwolf]

I'm glad you have some meds that do work, at least on occasion. I'm not even offered meds unless I'm sweating form the pain.

Blackwolf

PS I hope you really do relax and get through the test ok

Good luck

[Guest Julia59]

Nina,

Try not to get yourself too worked up-------Easier said then done I know. Maybe find something to divert your attention when your not busy studying. Watch a feel good movie---something giddy and happy---if you have time. I just don't want to see you get into that rut I sometimes get myself into----"THE WORRY RUT". However, it sounds like you have much more stress then me---more responsibilities with Work, school ect. Treat yourself to a little something special.

Tonight I got tired of seeing the four walls around my livingroom from laying on the couch with this stupid bronchitis, I made myself go out for a bit. My husband and I took some dinner to my son at work. He works at Starbucks---so we stuck around and gabbed with he and his friends for a bit. Then I went over and bought some inexpensive earrings for my second ear hole at claires. There's a new out door mall in Perrysburg---a suburb just outside of Toledo that is so cool. It looks like a little village, and there was piped in Christmas music.

I don't think I would make it right now if I worked. My job demanded so much from me when I ran that office---I think it would kill me now--- There's nothing worse then not being able to go #2----------I'm not a happy camper when that happens to me. So I can only imagine with all the stress and your insides tied up in the midst of studying for such an important test.--------------------- But seriously, sometimes if I just do something simply to divert my attention---it really does help my stress level stay lower.

Your a very strong individual----and have overcome many obsticals----so I know you'll fly through this with flying colors. In the mean time, don't be too hard on yourself. Your in my thoughts--------------hang on----the ride will get smoother.

PS----Forgive me if some of this post sounds a little mixed up. I'm giddy from this crazy virus. Yesterday Dr. Grubb's office called because I was having a reaction to the doubled dose of ceftin----terrible----tachy, diarrhea-------shakey legs---scarey----but passed in about an hour. They called later in the day---but the PCP doc already told me to stop the medication, and told me he was setting me up to see a pulminologist. I really had nothing to tell her at this point. Then I started laughing----and asked her if she liked my MAN voice. She started laughing soooo hard---I started laughing harder---and I almost peed my pants. My voice gets really deep with bronchitis. She was still laughing when I hung up.

Laughing is good for the soul--------AND IT HELPS STRESS.

Julie :0)

[Guest Julia59]

Oh-------------------- please don't put off that MRI for your neck. That pain and numbness should not go on much longer then it already has.

I'm so sorry to hear your having so much pain---I know that road, and i hate to see you on it too. I hope you get to the bottom of it, and it's nothing serious.

I'm thinking good thoughts, and sending prayers your way.

Be good to yourself,

Julie :0)

[MightyMouse]

You had me cracking up Julia with the Man Voice... I get that deep voice too when I have bronchitis... I call it my deep sexy voice

I think I'm going to try to sleep now. Julia, I know you'll relate to this...it hurt so bad today that I voluntarily put my hard brace on today as soon as I got home from work. I might even sleep in it tonight to see if it helps with the am numbness.

Blackwolf--you made me giggle too. I really did take a few slow breaths--and it helped me not be quite as torque up

Tonight, I'm thinking of something funny one of my home-schooled autistic students did once... he wanted to go swimming and asked his dad many times during the day "Can I go swimming tonight?" Dad kept reminding him that swim classes were on Wednesday night. A few hours later, the same question and answer session happened...followed by a spark of genius from my student, who said to his dad "Okay, Dad, then can you take me to Wednesday?"

Okay then, can you take me to Saturday? Better yet, how about Sunday morning? Nina

[blackwolf]

How sweet!

Good night Nina and all.

Blackwolf

[Jaime]

Nina,

I am right there with you with the slow bowels and the trouble studying. I am almost done with my week from ****. I had to pull my first almost all nighter. I left the computer lab at 3 am and had class the next day at 8 am and then one of my professors screamed at me in front of the whole class so badly that I started crying and had to leave the room......that's not a typical reaction so I am chucking it up to sleep deprivation, lots of POTSy symptoms, and just a mean man. Anyways, I wanted to let you know that I use Miralax for my IBS. I actually wasn't going poo for 2-3 weeks at a time. I was bloated. I didn't want to go on a laxative because if you use them for a long time period your bowels become dependent on the laxative and then you have to take them. The miralax works wonders because it actually causes peristalsis in your bowels so they can push the waste through. There is no associated dependency issues with it. Also, it doesn't cause the crampy, painful BMs that laxatives sometimes do. Miralax is a prescription, but I highly recommend it if you can get it. Good luck with your MRI. I had to take my flexeril before I could get mine done because going in head first made me claustraphobic. Well, I am getting tachy so I am going to lay down. My thought are with you!

Jaime

[DancingLight]

okay, now i am really laughing...jaime topped it all off with her way of saying 'i didn't go poo.'!!! just got my funny bone!

well, nina, just wanted to wish you good luck on your comps!!!! anyone would be freaking out over them...let's just say i don't envy my friends who have gone through them! so, i won't offer to fill in for you...sorry! he-he.

that story was great...can you take me to wednesday? i love that! i love the things children say.

hope after all of the stress you are able to 'go poo' again! he-he. sorry.

okay, my favorite thing to do in college during exams....blow up balloons (maybe you should have a non-POTS person, i.e. teri, do this!)...then label them with the exam name and tape them up. for example....cognitive psych or physics and then, when you get back from the exam you get to take your pencil and POP the thing! it is soooo satisfying! i don't know why! so, i think you need to blow up more than one for 'comps' and then pop 'em when you get home!

also, i always, literally, forget to breathe when i am stressed! so...that was a good reminder on blackwolf's part!

BREATHE, BREATHE, BREATHE!

good luck!

i hear you on the brace thing...my neck is so flared, i have been voluntarily wearing a soft collar! what is up with that??!!

okay, just remember, you'll be past such a big hurdle when comps are over! what an accomplishment!

later alligator!

emily

[corina]

Hi Nina,

want to wish you best wishes for saturday. You really made me laugh with your "lost" prescription. I once was so sad and frustrated about all the meds I use for this POTS I took all of them and threw them on the kitchenfloor and tried to jump on them. It was such a mess and when it was all over the floor a realized I had to call my doc to get new prescriptions and go over to the pharmacy to get them all because I can't do a day without them . I felt so ashamed when I called the doctors office and the nurse kept asking me questions how I could have run out of all my meds in such a short time and all at once. A few weeks later I told my doc what had happened and we laughed about it. He was glad it made me feel better even for such a short moment . Yeah, I know, he's the best. Hope you're doing fine Nina and wish I could take you to sunday,

Corina

[DawnA]

SOme funny posts here. It seems like whenever I have a hard time pooping I only need or can go when I am in the worst places. I hate going at public places, but it is better than not going at all. Should I say "I hope you have a poopy day"

Good luck on your comps tommorow. I hope you are feeling well and smart.

DawnA

[pamyla]

Hi Nina, Just wanted to wish you well for your test. That's a lot for anyone, and I'm so sorry to hear that pots (and other stuff) is kicking in. Can you take a day or two off from work?

I'm in grad school as well and there have been a few times where I've felt really overwhelmed as well, and actually you've been one of those people who inspires me to keep going. So, here's me saying - you can do this! Try and relax and take things one at a time (easier said than done I know!)

Hang in there, and if you want to review some statistics stuff with me, let me know (such fun!)

Pam

[DawnA]

Nina Good luck on your comps tomorrow. I hope you are feeling great and extra smart.

Should I say have a crappy (or Poopy) instead of break a leg.

rest well! dawn A

[MightyMouse]

OH wow! You all make me smile I just got home from a study session. I'm pretty tired but I have flash cards to write up, so just a quick reply from me tonight.

No ignition yet on the guts...but I'll see if I can find the Rx my doc wrote for mirilax; I had one but she wanted me to try the over the counter stuff first.

I really needed the mental boost you've all given me tonight! Thanks so much Nina

[DawnA]

I meant to say have a crappy day!

[Guest Julia59]

Nina,

Now I remember the name of that movie that I saw. It was a DVD----called "Love Actually" with Hugh Grant---and a host of other stars. My son loaned it to me a while ago. We thought it was a pretty good movie. Something to watch when your feeling kind of down to cheer you up-------

Hope you get those knots cleared up soon-----

Julie :0)

[geneva]

Hey Nina, it's Saturday nite and I hope that means you have successfully completed your test and are out on the town....or at least enjoying a quiet, relaxing evening at home!

[DancingLight]

did you have a crappy day? sorry, this thread has really gone to pot!

well, if you are reading this...it means your comps are OVER!!!! yeah!

emily

[MightyMouse]

Comps are over! and I have a comp hangover.... my body feels pretty wrecked right now.

Of course, my guts basically exploded before my exam started. I was sitting in the student lounge with the other two girls I've been studying with--and about a half hour before the exam, I had to run to the bathroom. OMG! When I came back to sit down, my one friend asked if I was okay...she has IBS... I said "I'm going to quote Ace Ventura, the pet detective (Jim Carrey)...'Do not go in there!'" (in reference to the stinky bathroom).

It's that old feast or famine thing. Oh well. I survived the day. I'm now in the waiting game until the results are given in about 2 or 3 weeks. My advisor is supposed to call to tell me yea or nay at that point.

Thanks, everyone, for your all your pep talks and thoughtfulness. BTW, I couldn't get a neuro appointment for the neck pain until mid December--but the rx for the MRI arrived in the mail.

Nina

[DancingLight]

hey nina! yeah! i am glad that they are over! i am also glad you have such a good sense of humor about bodily functions!

as for the neuro appt...as you know...waiting is always part of the deal, but i always find that appts. get here faster than i think they will. it will be mid-december before we know it! eeek!

take good care of yourself and pamper yourself!

emily

[wareagle]

Congrats on finishing Comps Nina!! I had to go through them in grad. school..it was such a relief when they were OVER!! Hope you're body can "settle" down a bit now!

Wishing you cramp, bloat, and pain free days!!