Cannot Find Work & In The Dumps. Is A Career Change Possible With Pots?

[iheartcats]

I'm very down because I can't find work - I am looking for full or part-time at the moment and the job market is so awful. And it is even more upsetting the market is so bad knowing work will take all my energy, but I don't have a choice right now.

This is a sore point with family. I know I need to try to work (income!). And my career is in stalemate. It wasn't exactly where I wanted it pre-POTS but things were OK and I was on track and slowly working my way up. Then POTS came and as many of you know, you cannot grind away like you used to at work and get ahead. So I had to be content with the position I had and did it well, but wasn't pushing for management.

Now I just cannot find anything. I'm at a stage in life where I should be really moving up in my career, managing, getting somewhere. But I can't find a job comparable to what I had a year ago!

I am sad, embarrassed, and depressed about this. The jobs I am applying for are jobs people 5-8 years younger than me are going for...it's so disheartening. Then you wonder when you go to interviews are they thinking, isn't she kind of 'old' for this level? What has been going on the last three years or so? I try my best. But you can't hide who you are in an interview. I'm not 26 anymore.

My PCP suggested a career change if I can handle it. The only other career I've thought about (and this was before POTS) was teaching. I was strongly considering a PhD in History (I even knew the specific time period and subject matter but POTS threw that one out the window). Now I'd be happy teaching High School History/Social Studies/Etc. But that requires an MA/Teaching Certificate and I am trying to look into it but am OVERWHELMED. At least teaching would be fulfilling to me.

In the meantime, obviously, I need to find work. And I don't know how to explain the couple of big gaps in employment and why I am 'older' than other applicants.

How did things come to this, I ask myself.

[lieze]

I'm contemplating the same thing here only I feel half excited about it.

I previously worked in a nursing home as an LPN and it is pretty much a dead end job unless you go onto school or something. I know it's not cool to disclose what you make but since I'm not doing it anymore I made 40,000/year working 3 days a week and every other weekend.

The job had it's ups and downs for one thing it is exhausting you run from the time you get there til the time you get home so even pre POTS I was worn out and didn't have a lot left for my family. Also the depressing factor everyone there is declining and dying it started to get to me after a while and I just think that while I put my time in there it would be nice to do something else for part of my life, not just have that be the sum of my working experience. Also the germs. We have had a lot of MRSA or people with colonized MRSA in our building. One nurse with asthma actually got it and died very quickly with pneumonia. So there is that whole factor that you are continually exposing yourself to sick people and bringing that home to your family. I can't tell you how many times I brought the flu home to my family or a bad upper respiratory. We even had that norovirus go through a year or so back and the whole facility was pretty much quarantined.

It's actually how I ended up with POTS so it may just be a sore spot for me. I was taking care of a lady with shingles which I had done for years but this time I got the virus and ended up with chicken pox. Everything went down hill for me from there.

I was slightly unhappy with my job for years but it was like how do I walk away from such a decent paying job for what?

Well I guess I shouldn't put so much emphasis on money? I don't know but in this world what are we supposed to do?

But now that I have been away for a bit just working the every other weekend I can see how horrible my job truly was and I have no desire to go back to that. So what do I do?

I've actually been praying about it.

I think I have a bit of time here about 2 1/2 years til I have all kids in school, and then I might need to make a decision.

I think more of a sit down job would be nice. All of that running really got to me over the years, I don't mind some exercise but even now I can't take that running all over the building.

Try not to let the age thing bother you so much, look at it like regrouping if you want.

I have been happy for this time of reflection.

I'm not sorry that I chose the career I did I just would like to take it in another direction if possible.

lieze

[sue1234]

Cat Lady,

Why don't you apply to be a substitute teacher? That would give you some idea if teaching is definitely right for you, and you will really enjoy it if that suits you. And, it will give you some income.

[iheartcats]

lieze - It is difficult, isn't it? Having to make a change? The plus for you, I guess, is you are ready to move on. I think I somewhat liked the marketing/advertising world but to have the kind of position I REALLY enjoy in that field requires too many hours/too much travel/too much schmoozing. A desk job is still OK, I think I can handle that and it's what I'm looking for now. I just did it for two years and was sometimes very exhausted, but I managed. I cannot imagine running around like an LPN. I have family who are in nursing and it's a hard job. And nursing homes are very sad.

Thank you for telling me not to focus on my age. I seem wound up in that lately. I guess I didn't expect to get POTS during this prime time of my life so it's very sad for me.

sue - I am going to check into substitute teaching. I never even knew that was a possibility! At least it is some income and I can see how it goes. Of course I know how kids treat substitutes - we were all kids once! LOL But, it's a good think to test the waters.

I tell myself I can't be the only person with a chronic illness to have to look into changing careers and/or not be at the level I'd hoped. (Of course then I look at Stephen Hawking - look what he is doing!). I will do the best I can and hold my head up high in interviews. I wish such an emphasis wasn't placed on age. There are reasons people may want a job with less responsibility, but you are often written off as over-qualified.

[mkoven]

I think you can teach in private schools without being certified.

[yogini]

Have you tried temping or consulting? I took a leave from my job and when I came back they no longer needed me bc of the economy. In my field it is unheard of to take time off and I was petrified. I took a temp job at a huge pay cut. The job was supposed to last three weeks and it has lasted a year. I also got a raise and a bonus to make upfor back pay. It has also led to other work I am doing at the same time. It is also exactly the type of work I was looking for years when I was in my old job. And I get to work from home, which is great for my pots.

My good friend who is in a totallly different field was out of work for 4 yes mostly bc she was in a funk. She started doing random consulting and one job led to the next led to a perm job in her field. She is even making more money than ever - I am not!! I think it helps to get out there and meet new people and tell them you are looking. They will introduce you and refer you to other people. That can be more effective than sending in random applications tho of course you have to do that too. And don't be too hard on yourself. I don't know how long you have been looking, but it can take many months or longer. Good luck.

Edited March 6, 2010 by yogini

[Janey]

I can't tell you how much this resounds with me. I have been unemployed for nearly a year and I was diagnosed with POTS during my last job, I was ground down by the thing and it nearly killed me. Friends and family said "just stop, we'll take care of you" but a year later they're starting to ask questions - "are you better yet?" - and I'm beginning to wonder where my life has gone - that "career" that I always dreamed of. I,too, feel embarrassed and sad and depressed.

I was in hospital for a week two weeks ago and weirdly felt "safe." I was surrounded by other people with neurological problems who couldn't work, and nothing was expected of us. We were in hospital, we could all just be ourselves. But outside the hospital doors I feel like I've been thrown back into the mean, ruthless outside world that I can't fit into anymore - not through work or career, at least.

I can empathise, but I can't offer solutions. I just want you to know that you're not alone.

Janey

[iheartcats]

Thank you, Janey. I appreciate you sharing that with me. I am having a hard time coming to terms with these feelings over a career - I never knew it meant that much, but it does. Until you aren't working or aren't working at the level/career you SHOULD be, you don't realize how much that defines you in our culture.

I've noticed the different treatment, too. All I can do is hope things improve and work toward that goal. It is so hard without much support, though!

[lieze]

I know somewhat how you feel about that Catlady,

It wasn't that being an LPN in a nursing home was that glorious of a job but the income was really good especially for a second income. My husband is the main wage earner in our home.

That income gave me a backbone. It gave me security that we would be okay.

I walked into Kmart Saturday and I could have just cried. My check wasn't even enough this past week to cover my car payment and just walking into a store made me face the fact of how financially vulnerable I am. The kids were asking for all kinds of extras too and I just had to say Mommy doesn't have any money.

Then of all things I took the boys to a movie after. I had not been to a movie in probably 5 years. I spent $26.50 to get us in and then $19.00 on 3 small drinks and one box of M&M's. Money that I do not have. I felt so guilty the entire time.

I was lucky enough to get called into work last night but guess what I walked into

My coworker who worked opposite of me the entire time I worked full time still works there part time. She had a brace of her left wrist. When we were done with report I asked her if she had fallen on the ice. She said no one of the residents got a hold of her and pulled the tendons right out of her elbow. She cannot use her left arm at all and is on Workman's comp. Now I know I maybe paranoid since I also got chicken pox there that led to my POTS, but it's like is this job really worth it. You literally are putting your health and well being on the line here.

Yeah the pay is good but is it worth it? I probably will continue to work now and then there but I don't want to go back to what I was doing if I can help it!!!

lieze