iheartcats Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 I had to leave work at a half day today because I've been sick, stayed home yesterday, tried to push through today, but was literally shaking by around 11am. I couldn't hold my hand steady. I've never had that symptom before so I hope it's from the sickness and/or dehydration.I feel guilty though. I am worried they are getting annoyed with how much I've had to miss.I just don't know what to do. Balancing a household plus work with POTS takes all I have. I have FMLA but that's soon to run out...so I'm just feeling guilty that I can't keep up right now. And then I'm worried I'll get 'fired' - I'd rather have a 'layoff' than actually be 'fired' but I have no idea what they do in my situation. I've never been written up/talked to about the time I've missed so no 'warnings' are anything. And I've been meeting work deadlines.I just get the feeling coworkers are 'disappointed' or wondering why I am out a lot. I don't look as sick as I feel and I try to be as normal as possible at work. Then I just have a crash, like now.I don't know what point to look into short-term disability (if anyone is familiar with or used this, can you PM me?)Just needed to vent and some advice. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
futurehope Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 I had to leave work at a half day today because I've been sick, stayed home yesterday, tried to push through today, but was literally shaking by around 11am. I couldn't hold my hand steady. I've never had that symptom before so I hope it's from the sickness and/or dehydration.I feel guilty though. I am worried they are getting annoyed with how much I've had to miss.I just don't know what to do. Balancing a household plus work with POTS takes all I have. I have FMLA but that's soon to run out...so I'm just feeling guilty that I can't keep up right now. And then I'm worried I'll get 'fired' - I'd rather have a 'layoff' than actually be 'fired' but I have no idea what they do in my situation. I've never been written up/talked to about the time I've missed so no 'warnings' are anything. And I've been meeting work deadlines.I just get the feeling coworkers are 'disappointed' or wondering why I am out a lot. I don't look as sick as I feel and I try to be as normal as possible at work. Then I just have a crash, like now.I don't know what point to look into short-term disability (if anyone is familiar with or used this, can you PM me?)Just needed to vent and some advice. ThanksWhen I'm shaky, it means I'm trying to do more than my body is capable of. I finally had to leave work because I knew I would not be reliable. It became impossible for me to keep up the facade of being okay and doing my job, when, inside, I felt like death and didn't even know if I could make it to the car after work.Do you need to work? Can you cut back your hours? There are no easy solutions, but you gotta do what you gotta do. If you want to be layed off rather than fired, then you're going to have to do it. However you can. I wish you the best and I hope you can come up with a workable solution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjan Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 HUGS to you ~! I am sorry for ALL you are going through.Ironically, I am home "sick" today..and barely got through yesterday. At our weekly staff meeting on Tuesday I announced how I have been thinking of working one less day a week..but know financially it will be difficult.This would help the agency and if I get 3 days in a row..may help my fatigue etc. Its just that I may not be promised full time if and when I feel better. So.. I sympathize with you so much. I have only been at this agency 7 months and am 60. Its too early to retire.I hope you get the responses you need.But know that I care and feel for you!Warmly, Jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iheartcats Posted April 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 It's really hard, isn't it? I know what you mean about wondering if you can get to the car - I work at a place without parking (have to use a garage blocks away) and I get in early to get a metered spot close by covered by my disability plates. Walking for in the morning? Bad bad bad.And the reliability issue. I used to be a great worker. Now I struggle to keep up. So it is depressing.I have cut back my hours with FMLA (use it for flare-ups, appointments, recovery, etc) but I think everything is just catching up with me. I'm young. I need to work. I have more than twice my age to go before retiring (agh!) but maybe I need to take some time off to try to improve. It's been hard already at not getting a full paycheck but hopefully my spouse and I can pull it off for a while.I wonder what else I can do in the future if I at least stabilize. Teach? I think if it were rewarding, at least that'd help me through.Thank you everyone for listening and understanding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
potsgirl Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Cat Lady,One of the hardest things I have had to do was to leave my job - I loved my work! I was an archaeologist for the county here in Tucson, AZ, which meant a lot of going to sites and doing fieldwork and meetings off-site. I couldn't make it through a week anymore, and I knew it wasn't fair to my employer, who did everything they possible could to help. Luckily, I worked for the state, so I was eligible to apply for long-term disability, and this has saved me. Do you have long-term disability in your employee benefit package? Also look into short-term. If you have long-term disability (LTD), apply for it, and see if you can take a leave of absence or cut back on your work while you make the decision. LTD has allowed me to continue living a decent lifestyle, and offers me insurance at a much cheaper rate than COBRA. It's definitely worth checking into, but it can take up to 6 months. Good luck, and feel free to PM me if you have more questions.Ciao~Potsgirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramakentesh Posted April 4, 2009 Report Share Posted April 4, 2009 work and POTS is a nightmare - im sitting there all day at my desk so late last year when i had a very bad flareup i was going home or fainting quite often. Thankfully it improved.No one really seemed to get how it made me feel that bad. I have had hepatitis E recently and i got more sympathy and it effected me far less than POTS does Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iheartcats Posted April 4, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2009 work and POTS is a nightmare - im sitting there all day at my desk so late last year when i had a very bad flareup i was going home or fainting quite often. Thankfully it improved.No one really seemed to get how it made me feel that bad. I have had hepatitis E recently and i got more sympathy and it effected me far less than POTS does Yeah. I get the feeling some people I work with just think I'm crazy. Really helps, no? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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