Laughing, Smiling, Intense Conversation

[turtlefairy5]

This is an "anyone else?" check-in slash rant.

Sometimes I feel very happy, joyful, sarcastic (in a good way), joke-cracking.....just "up." (Could be some mania/anxiety, but whatever, you never know with me.)

Unfortunately, I find if I laugh or am animated in any way, a sudden fatigue and sick feeling will overtake me and I go very suddenly from happy and lively to very fatigued, sick, awful. I mean, this can happen in a second. It's very confusing to people, frustrating for me, so I just try to "act" my way through it, trying to keep up the same energy level despite how I feel. It's confusing to people to be joking and animated and then all of a sudden just "ugh, I'm sick" and curl up in a ball or put my head down and get a very serious, pained look on my face.

I guess I'm realizing that being happy, laughing, being animated, though it is a "good" or beneficial energy emotionally, is still energy that I am expended, thus a strain on POTS, bringing on my symptoms. Has anyone else experienced this?

It is frustrating because being happy, laughing, animated is a large part of personality that all my friends say they enjoy most. I'm the "funny" one in my group of old college buddies, and even when I make new friends, I quickly become recognized as the sarcastic, tip-of-the-tongue witty comment girl, the funny person that makes everyone, well, like and enjoy me, though yes there are other admirable aspects to my personality. A friend once said that one of my best qualities is to take something that I am excited about and, because I put so much excited energy behind it, make everyone else excited about it.

I have fluctuations in my mood due to my bipolar disorder, but when I'm not depressed, I like to be happy - I have Bipolar II disorder, which means that I experience more extended depressions with a more anxious than euphoric mania. But recently I feel like I can't be excited or animated because it brings on in full, sudden force my POTS symptoms. Last night at a meeting I was considerably more - what? calm, spoke in a deeper, lower voice...acted more like I would act if I were depressed (which inherently means low-energy)...I expended much less energy thus didn't get the sudden POTS symptoms.

It seems like a very, very unfair trade off, to have to give up my liveliness, or be less energetic less often, in order not to aggravate my POTS.

POTS is being a party pooper.

Amber

[all4family]

I have a hard time with large energy emotions like laughing. Even if I think something is very funny it's as if I can't breath when I try to laugh, or cry, and I especially don't yell. It is deffinatly due to the physical strain it causes me, and not due to emotion fluctuations. I still feel the things that I feel, I just can't express them without becoming short of breath.

This was very frusterating to me also. Is there a way to be funny that doesn't make you feel this way? I have found that I enjoy listening to people laugh at me, and when someone asks why I'm not laughing I will just say I am on the inside, with a little grin. This seems to make them happy, and then we can all laugh in our own way.

Suzy

[janiedelite]

I'm so glad that someone brought up this topic! I have to say that POTS has actually changed my personality somewhat. I used to be pretty intense, in the middle of things, but now I find that I feel best if I do mostly listening during conversations. My friends/family actually don't mind, and I actually kind of like the "new" me!

During my TTT they were doing beat-to-beat BP monitoring and my resting BP was around 130/80. I was conversing with the tech between tests and glanced at the monitor and saw that my BP was 160's/90's! I stopped talking and it came down to 130/80 in 10 seconds or so. I continued conversation and up it went again! And we were talking about rather mundane stuff, too. Yesterday I had a 1/2 hour phone conversation with my disability insurance representative (who is very pleasant, but it's still a bit stressful) and felt horrible during the whole call. I checked my BP afterward and it was 130/98. In that case, I felt somewhat "ramped up" for the rest of the day. I was sensitive to light, talking, and didn't sleep much last night either.

Last Sunday, I attended my mom's carcinoid cancer support group with her. I've even led the group in the past, and our current leader was talking about putting on a one-day conference for Oregon and Washington patients. One of the patients wanted someone to do a presentation on how to talk with doctors. I'm a nurse, and I volunteered to do the presentation. I found out that the leader intended me to speak at the conference (not at the next support group like I'd assumed) in front of over 100 patients and a panel of doctors! Pre-POTS this wouldn't have been a problem, but I had to tell her after the meeting that my body just doesn't handle that kind of pressure anymore, but that I'd be happy to talk at the next support group. She understood, but she said that I looked so good she didn't realize how unwell I felt which was cute because carcinoid patients get that comment all the time, too!

[Sophia3]

in a nutshell. Yes, FUN stuff sets off symptoms like laughter and lots of it. Or listening to live music.

I love a local band the times they play close to me (New Orleans old jazz, Cajun and Gypsy music) WHILE listening I almost feel "normal" but wound up on adrenalin. They do not play LOUD as much of their music is strolling the crowd on acoustic instruments, guitar, trombone, violin, clarinet, accordion trumpet, etc. If they are too loud and hurt my ears I let them know as they don't want to be TOO LOUD and they ask for my feedback. (I also take photos and keep a blog of the band)

Now granted they are a unique FABULOUS band AND MY BLISS and Music Therapy.

But whether they play an early gig for dinner hour and I am home by 8pm or 11pm, I am wound up FOR HOURS!!

Sitting with a freind and laughing does the same thing.

All swings of emotions set us off but of course intense, emotional or heavy stuff can set us off for days.

p.s. I also keep foam earplugs in my purse

[Broken_Shell]

Hello,

I also have noticed since developing dysautonomia that laughing - even for a few seconds - triggers lightheadedness and makes me feel unwell. I have noticed the same thing if I sing in church. It is frustrating because I think "laughing and singing are great activities... shouldn't they make a lot of happy neurotransmitters that trump the dysautonomia?" Unfortunately, that apparently is not the case! I don't have any suggestions to offer but wanted to share that I have had similar experiences.

~ Broken_Shell

[turtlefairy5]

Well, I'm not glad that others are experiencing the same thing, but relieved that others can relate and empathize.

I definitly get POTSy at live concerts, and sometimes just playing upbeat music (hi, *wink* *wink*, Justin Timberlake) in my car can make me feel sort of...amped. While we're at it, just driving in my car can make my heart rate go up and stay up. Every now and then I notice that I'm gripping the wheel like a vice. I guess driving makes me anxious?? I hadn't realized it before.

Movies at the theater, concerts, laughing, intense conversations...essentially, the things of an enjoyable life, all give me these little adrenaline surges and make me sick. Where's the smiley for pulling your hair out?

Not being able to go out with friends, or at least go out and stay very long, or sometimes go to the movies, or concerts, being in crowds, etc., not being able to work and be financially independent, all contributed to the ruin of a relationship that was very important to me.

I'm tired of losing things to POTS.

Amber

[bizbiz]

I can relate. I feel like POTS has stollen my personality...and I really want myself back. It is very depressing.

My sister and I have a very weird and stupid sense of humor...not long ago we were sitting around talking and started laughing like hyena's at something, and literally in a split second this horrible feeling came over me and I just stopped laughing. I cant describe the feeling, other than saying I just felt really 'yuck', and just didnt feel like laughing anymore.

Sometimes its almost like I am so caught up in the moment, or having so much fun that I feel normal again, and then I get some POTS-y symptom and in that second I remember that I have POTS and I just feel like **** again.

I just want the old me back again.

[mancmm19]

I completely understand what you are talking about!!! Ugh it's like a breath of fresh air. Everytime I mentioned these weird symptoms to my doctor or family, they looked at me like I was crazy! When I smile too long my facial muscles begin to twitch/spasm...it is very strange. Laughing too hard/for too long of a period of time makes me feel winded and out of it, and again my cheeks will twitch. And also if I am having an intense conversation with someone I will notice that either I start slurring my words, forget what I'm talking about or cannot concentrate on what they're saying because I automatically start focusing on how I'm starting to feel. It's like I'll be trying to tell a story yet in my head my mind is focusing on how I'm beginning to feel "out of it." I can't believe that this is related to POTS, I was have been sick for 2 and a half years and was finally diagnosed with POTS 2 weeks ago. My doctor didn't know too much about it however so these forums are putting all of my weird symptom puzzle pieces together! At least I'm not the only one out there

In addition, I know what you all mean about losing yourself I am 22 going on 23 and have been sick since I turned 20. I was undiagnosed with POTS until 2 weeks ago and the past 2 and a half years have been miserable. My junior and senior year of college were completely ruined and I went from being a fun person who was in a sorority with a lot of friends to being miserable with no social life and longing for my old self. I still cannot do the "fun" things in life as loud noises and flashing lights make me feel "wired" and I cannot come down from that feeling for hours. Concerts are all of a sudden too loud and my ears will ring for days and days and in general I don't feel well enough to get all dressed up and go meet friends for a few hours. I cannot drink without get violently ill the next day so that rules out much of a social life as well. I am so blessed to have a great family and boyfriend by my side throughout this whole ordeal and hope that now that I have been diagnosed I will finally begin to truely start living my life again. I took it for granted and I never will again, that is for sure. Most days I don't feel well enough to do anything and am struggling to hold onto a full-time job. Even when I do feel "ehh," everything I do I need to decide whether it is worth it for me to make an attempt to go out and risk feeling ill or just stay home. I cannot wait until I do not need to question leaving my home ever again and that day will come for all of us... I KNOW it. Keeping positive and hopeful is the only thing that we can do because once we lose that, we have pretty much lost everything. For me, 2 and a half years have been wasted with anxiety and wonder, thinking that I am dying from a mysterious illness that no one can diagnose. With finally being diagnosed with POTS, I am determined to not let it interfere with my life as much and will do anything to get better. I have a feeling that the road to recovery is going to be a long one but as long as I enjoy life along the way, that is just fine with me.