Wrote This To My Ep

[cardiactec]

I am so upset..........been trying to get in to see my GI after being in the ER this past weekend and am getting the run around. the only one who has even attempted to help with all this is my EP doc! I vented to him via email................this is what i wrote.....................************* dont read if having a bad day ********************

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Dying would actually be a relief right about now. I called the GI's office, he's on vacation. the office wont see me until they have the faxed documentation from the ER trip. the hospital hasnt faxed the info and i know that even after they do fax the info, no one in the GI's office will be able to make this better. the GI doc will just pass me off to the next poor soul he can quickly scrounge up - which he already did a year ago -- leading to the heartache journey down to boston for all this all for a run around, pat on the back "eat small meals" lecture, along with some empty promises to call my neuro and cardiologist in consult about future interventions regarding this which guess what -- surprise surprise - never happened.

I still can barely eat/drink, my heart is skipping out of control because of it, I cant go to the bathroom without having to manually help myself go as sick as that sounds, I'm tired but I cant sleep because I'm too nauseous and the only one who even has a clue of the WHOLE picture here is my poor EP doctor... The only "up to date" records are your records, the only up to date person is you, why??? --- because my pcp is useless because every time i go to him and mention any of this he always refers everything back to you ..... same with potters office. same with gibbons. the only reason why I told YOU of the eating/drinking issues, dehydration, etc is because I knew no one else would give a darn to AT LEAST try and help the situation.

To add icing to the cake, I am being fired from my job in three weeks because of all this and will be without medical insurance. so EVEN IF there was something someone could do to help, I have no medical coverage.

Meanwhile I have to force myself into work every day when I feel like death warmed over to try and PROVE the hospital that Im not the complete failure that they think I am behind their reasoning to rid themselves of me. Cant call in sick or it is 100% guaranteed my position gone. I'm not strong, just willing to practically crucify myself for things that most people would deem foolishness - 1. a passion for my career. 2. compassion for MY patients who I probably understand, from a physical/emotional/mental standpoint, better than most. .

I am sorry for ever becoming your patient, I really am ...sorry for your sake, not mine.

[firewatcher]

Hang on, please hang on...our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Jennifer

[mom4cem]

I wish I could offer you more than to say sorry that you are going through this.

But on the other hand, as strange as it may sound, I'm glad you can vent to your ep, even though you feel bad for him, I imagine that he feels just as bad that he can't do more, especially when there are issues beyond his expertise.

Does your ep dr. know the gi doc? If not, is there someone he could recommend who at least is willing to walk along with you through this?

[pat57]

I will echo mom4cem

I wish I could offer you more than to say sorry that you are going through this.

[anna]

Well I would like to send you a huge hug from over the water, and wish you the strength to fight all this C*** you are having to deal with at the moment.

Please take care,

Anna

[Michelle F.]

It is unusual for me to be at a loss of words, but that is where I am right now. My heart goes out to you. Sometimes when things just seem they couldn't get worse, they do. But, more than not, for me anyway, when I think all hope is lost, a ray of sunshine is just around the corner. I hope you are coming to your corner soon! Hang in there!

Michelle F.

[momofsara]

Im so sorry you are feeling so down right now. I know the feeling of desperation when a doctor you are trusting and hoping will help you lets you down. Some of them just seem to be overwhelmed by the dysautonomic patient so they just throw their hands up and run like "chicken little" . Seems like all they know to do is send you off to another doctor so they dont have to deal with their own inadequacy. Heres hoping you feel much better soon and will find a compassionate doctor to take over your care. Also hoping for the best concerning your job. Gentle hugs and best wishes coming your way from me---

Susan

[cardiactec]

thanks for your words of encouragement. doing a tad bit better today...

kind of feel bad for writing this to him.....just a major vent out session. hopefully he doesnt think i'm nuts!

i am hoping that he gets in touch with my GI.......

[Maxine]

Angela,

If your EP is as good as you say he is, he'll get it--- He'll understand your need to vent, and hopefully give you some insight on where to turn for help.

BIG HUG,

Maxine :0)