Its Not All Doom And Gloom (but It Sure Feels That Way)

[tobel17]

I am at a loss.

I have been bumped around by doctors for years, now, told conflicting things, that I have no health issues at all by one GP, been mis-scheduled for heart surgery during finals week (I rearranged all my finals and they forgot to write down my name for the surgery roster)

..and It's happened again.

I decided to take a stand, and to make sure that my health was in my hands. But I guess that's never really the case. I did research, looking for a doctor out here on the left coast that would be a pots specialist, who could help me get down to the nitty gritty of whats going on in my body.

I found, on potsplace, a reference to a doctor at Stanford who was highly recommended.

I pushed my cardiologist to refer me, made a request after going over all possible treatment options I've found and him ticking them off one by one going "no.. no.. no..no..no..dont want to try these.. sorry.."

I've been waiting six long months for this appointment, after they scheduled me (twice) without my consent (I couldnt just up and leave my 8.5 straight hours of school on the only day the doc was available for clinic without discussing it with instructors first, and the stanford people decided they'd just pick a time and date for me. Thank god I live here, and didnt spend money on plane tickets over and over)

And so a week before my appointment I have a message.

The doctor has decided not to come in to clinic that day, can I please reschedule.

I've changed all my finals around. AGAIN. for a SECOND SEMESTER. and it has been decided that I don't get the appointment anymore.

My anger isnt because I don't have a good treatment for my pots going, or that my cardiologist doesnt care, or even that they just chopped the whole clinic day off with no explanation (But all of those are true) It's that I get left in the dust, and no one cares about helping me get through this thing out here. No one. No one is willing to keep my appointment, or see me as a person and not just a bill.

I feel abandoned. I want to abandon my own cause. I almost did. But I guess I can't. I want to. I dont want to care. I'm tired of caring. I'm so sick and tired of caring.

So wish me luck, i've waited another three weeks, and I'll be going on the fifth. Atleast this time I don't have to drive the night before to get there.

Best wishes to all of you guys,

Laura

[Megan]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this! Don't give up, though. Hopefully your appointment in 3 weeks will go well and you'll get on the right track. You're in my thoughts.

Meg

[wireless]

I read your post. That's terrible. Hugs and best wishes.

[pat57]

Your getting there. Your persistence will pay off eventually. In the mean time no wonder your frustrated!

[momofsara]

Oh Laura, I sooo know what you are talking about. Its been a lot of the same thing with my daughter. You have our thoughts and prayers for a successful visit to the doc. Hang in there sweetie. Hugs--Susan

[Mary P]

Hi Laura,

I'm so sorry to know of all you're going through. Reading your message brought tears to my eyes. This emotional stress adds to your physical problems, and is surely very draining. This simply isn't fair.

When you speak of your studies I realize you must be very young. Every day I give thanks that I did not experience a serious health problem until just the past 2 years, and I turned 70 this past April.

I admire all of you who study, care for children, hold down a job, etc. I really don't know how you all do what you do. Youre in my thoughts and prayers.

Mary P

[Ernie]

Hi Laura,

Never give up on yourself. I had many hardship in my life and I felt like giving up sometimes but in the long run it is only ourselves who suffer. So don't punish yourself for something you are not responsible.

Love

[Rachel]

I'm so sorry. I've had important appointments cancelled on me too. It is very discouraging. We can only do so much to improve our health. Some of it is just out of our hands. I hope that your appointment on the 5th will work out, and I hope that you are very pleased with the doctor. Let us know how things go and how you're doing.

Rachel