Jeannie32

Marni- I have not personally endured the pain of a divorce - although I came pretty close about a year ago... However, I did work for an attorney for about a year a while back. First of all, many attorneys allow a first meeting at no or a very nominal charge. If you do not feel a bond with him/her - RUN - don't walk! It might cost you money that you really feel you don't have now - but it could be REAL costly in the long run. Every state has different laws regarding the distribution of assets in a divorce - so you really do need to ask specific questions of your attorney. As for medical bills that were incurred during your marriage, usually, if you did not have a pre-nuputal agreement specifically addressing it - he should be liable for all or part of those - depending upon the precident set during your marriage. Be certain to address medical insurance coverage - at least on an interim basis as well. Hope this helps a little. We're pullin' for you. Jeannie

Severe illness has a way of making us self-absorbed -- with just cause. But my point is that we certainly have to make every effort to prioritize the feelings of our mates and caregivers. Most of our mates "signed up" for the job under a completely different set of circumstances. They had goals and dreams too - many of which are now dashed to pieces by circumstances beyond their control - and ours... But we have to cut them some slack too! If we don't - we can't be too surprized when they leave. That "for better or worse" sounds really good on paper - but it is VERY difficult to hang in there when there is nothing but 24/7 demands, complaints and drudgery. Why do you think some prisoners try to escape from jail? I am in no way inferring that any of you were the sole reason for ANY breakup -- but there are always 2 sides. All I am sharing is what I consciously changed in MY attitude and approach to life that made a HUGE difference in both my marriage and my relationships with friends and family. Jeannie

Regrettably, it certainly has NOT been a banner week for some of our members. We?ve had husbands walk out ? divorce papers served ? and reactions and responses of our POTS family showing varying degrees of empathy, sympathy and outrage. First of all, I am blessed to have a wonderful partner for almost 7 years now. But that really shouldn?t eliminate me from passing along an opinion in this matter. When I first posted on this site ? we were having some rocky times as well. I was upset with some of our friends ? his family ? my family. No one understood! No one cared! Well, I?m happy to report that all is unbelievably better. What has been the recipe for success? First of all, I now try to minimize the constant complaining and demand for attention. My newest symptom and next doctor?s appointment is no longer the focal point of our lives! I insist that he maintain a social life ? within reason, of course. When I can not attend a function ? I encourage him to attend without me. I can?t expect him to give up his life because of me. Dictating this ? even to a saint ? will breed resentment, anger and regret. Why? Because you have to realize that this is your illness ? NOT your partner?s. No matter how bad it gets for you ? you just can?t make it feel like it is their personal death sentence. I think our beloved Administrator, Mighty Mouse hit the nail on the head with the statement ? ?It's an unfortunate reality that some people just can't handle being around someone who is chronically ill.? Likewise, it is a proven fact that the stress on the caregiver in an Alzheimer?s or hospice environment is downright brutal! Why do you think some partners turn to parents and close friends? It?s for relief ? it?s for comfort ? it?s for understanding it?s because it may be the ONLY outlet they feel they have left. I am not trying to incite a riot here ? but I strongly feel that we can?t expect our partners to hang around indefinitely if we lose sight of the pain we are inflicting on them too. Jeannie

Hi Gang! Thank you all so much for the info. It sounds like a wonderful alternative to adhesives and tape - and a lot more reliable too! I am continuing to research the info you shared online so that I can be the "expert" on my appointment early next month. To those who took the time to respond - thank you for your time and effort. The average person has NO idea how helpful - and comforting - a group like this can be! Jeannie

In reading a recent thread regarding heart monitors, I recall someone mentioning an implant monitor. I am totally unfamiliar with them and would truly appreciate any information any of you can impart on the subject. I have had to wear a Holter monitor for extended periods of time - and quite frankly, I find them to be a royal pain! I would LOVE to find an alternative. Thanks, Jeannie32

How totally WONDERFUL! With support like that - you should make record progress towards your educational goals - without undue stress on your physical well being! Heck, I wish I could find family and friends that were so considerate... Jeannie

Adding my thoughts on the subject... I have not personally discussed having a child with my doctors as of yet - and - unless I experience a SUSTAINED period of improvement -- I simply CAN NOT justify getting pregnant! This is with or without the blessings of my doctors... At 32, I realize that my biological clock is ticking. But I am fatigued all the time - I have frequent migranes and body aches - I am taking multiple medications daily - and experience constant and ever-changing symptoms which are related to the POTS (and some that are not). To sum it up - most days I feel more than pitiful! Who will nurture and care for the child when I am unable - sometimes for days at a time? How is this fair to my husband - or me - or MOST IMPORTANTLY the child itself? My wonderful husband supports this as well.

I was so moved by the frustration and fear that was evident in your post today ? not to mention so very sorry for what you?ve endured of late. I would certainly remain concerned about your liver ? but would caution you that MANY prescriptions have a direct effect on your liver enzyme levels. Perhaps your doctors need to get together ? or if impossible ? YOU need direct one of them, on your own, to monitor your bloodwork on a very frequent basis and to re-evaluate your meds. It would be tragic to start treatment on a problem that was artificially induced! I didn?t quite understand why you feel your pots specialists are ?blowing you off? - <my words - not yours?> If you have been diagnosed ? by them - why are they not receptive to your needs? Now, as for your mother-in law? If you check my previous posts ? I have a VERY similar scenario. Although my spouse <thankfully> remains supportive and downright WONDERFUL ? my friends(?) have been anything but!!! I know ? firsthand ? that you must be plagued with fear and anxiety, that the prevailing sentiment might start to rear its ugly head with your husband too. Each day I have felt the need to distance my husband and I from these people ? as a protective mechanism. Are you otherwise close to your husband?s family? But - even if you are - the only answer might be to isolate yourself and your husband from the stress her doubt causes. After all ? your health is far more important! Hang in there? We?ll say a prayer for you?.

Rachel -- Fantastic! I missed your original post - but wanted to add my encouragement. Hydrotherapy has long been recognized as exceptional for muscle building and strengthening! The plus of being a competitive swimmer is probably something you never thought of at the time -- but are obviously really cashing in on those benefits now. It has to feel even better to be able to share the moments with your son! Jeannie

WAY TO GO ERNIE!!!!!!! Isn't it amazing how truly major each and every victory becomes in our lives?? I have every faith you will continue to build on this extraordinary accomplishment!!! Jeannie

I know that this is indeed freaking you out! It is not my intention to dismiss your fears ? but to perhaps allay them? When you say you have never been tested for diabetes ? I?m assuming you mean a glucose tolerance test. But, pretty much every time you have a blood test ? they test for glucose levels. I find it amazing that no one had been alerted to a blood sugar level of over 175 or 200 ? I don?t care if they were months apart! It is not a secret that incompetence is alive and living in the medical community. However my understanding of diabetic autonomic failure is that it typically occurs in Type1 Diabetics ? taking insulin for long period of time. This, in itself, might point to another - less serious - concern. It sounds as if you will be getting medical attention in the next day or so. I know it is easier said than done ? but I?d REALLY try to chill out until the matter is fully evaluated. You certainly don?t want additional stress to skew any symptoms... Please keep us posted... ps -- I'm praying for you. Jeannie

I certainly understand your frustrations ? I?m sure your husband means well. I have a problem which is somewhat similar to yours. Reading your post the other day is actually what prompted me to go from a ?reader? on the forum to a bona fide posting member. I found this site about a month ago while trying to research information on my own symptoms. At the present time, my doctors have not definitively diagnosed my illness as POTS ? although it remains a very strong probability. Unfortunately, I too have had issues with my doctors believing in my motives and my symptoms - but my issues go a little further... Presently, I feel my husband of 4 years has been extremely supportive throughout my ordeal -- but I can NOT say the same of my other family members and friends. I?m sure this is, in part, because my symptoms and my diagnosis have not been cut and dried ? like a broken leg. But as the weeks have passed, I have been being met with ever increasing unsympathetic attitude and rhetoric. I can assure you that this is not paranoia! Please don?t tell me to ignore it. I can try to overlook the physical pain ? but it actually hurts 10 times worse to hear the whispers and sense the overall nonchalance about my illness. Plus, I worry that my spouse, in time, will develop the same attitude. Any suggestions? Jean