roxie Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 I need some advice on something normal people just don't understand. This weekend a friend of mine asked me to be one of her bridesmaids!! She said she would be honored to have me in the wedding even though it will take ALOT of energy and that she wants to be as accomidating as possible and is completely ok with my wheelchair. This really is a dream come true for me, I have been sick since I was twelve and until a couple of years ago didn't have any friends. I used to wonder and feel sad to think I might never be close enough to anyone to be involved in a wedding ( I LOVE getting dressed up and planning things) and get sad over the fact that I myself may never get married. But this week I have hope b.c my friend asked me to be in her wedding and the biggest problem i am having is that I am SOOOOOO excited, I start to not feel well, a few times my hands have trembled, it's just so much adrenaline, and my bp has raised some, and my heart races at times Does anybody have any ideas how to calm this down? I know its not good for my body, being included in something is just a dream come true. The wedding is in June, hopefully I will come down once it sets inMadeline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pat57 Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 well in a word. Ambien.When I have energy challenges I make sure I get a good nights rest. Scheduling naps is good to, but- feeling excitement- you may not be able too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flop Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 You could try channelling some of the excitement in to a task like making lists of what you are looking forwards to, what things the bridesmaid's will need, what the bride will need.The most special part of being a bridesmaid is actually being in the dress at the ceremony and celebrations, but if you have the energy to put into helping with some of the planning I bet your friend would be delighted. She is probably just starting to make plans so there are bound to be lots of things to discuss that she won't have had a chance to think of yet.If you live near her you might like to make a special "memories of planning the wedding" scrapbook, you could put in things like pictures of possible dresses, leaflets from florists and cake ideas, sample menus - all the sorts of things that she will spend a lot of time on over the next year but probably won't remember in the future.It would make a really individual present for the big day. You wouldn't need to go dashing about as you can get loads of pictures and ideas from the internet or by phoning and asking for leaflets / flyers.Just an idea but it might be a fun way of burning off the excitement so you can put the "wedding project" into a bag or box and leave it alone after a session working on it - it may help you to leave the excitement with it and be calmer the rest of the time?Most of all - have fun!Flop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pastordari Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 I use ativan. Calms without sedation.The ambien and plenty of rest are key as well . . . I use lunesta though.Dari Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flop Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 I used to take a "natural" remedy for anxiety / excitement before my exams, especially when I was a worked-up teenager was the "rescue remedy" from the "Bach's flower remedies" range. In the UK you can buy them in most pharmacies and health food shops. It is a small bottle of flower remedy (has natural alcohol in it too) that you use a dropper to put 5 drops on your tongue (rather strong taste) or you can put 5 drops in a glass of water. It seemed to help me to calm down.Flop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 Hi Madeline,That is very exciting that your friend has asked you to be a bridesmaid. I hope that all goes well and that you're able to enjoy being in the wedding.When I get excited about something I have a little extra energy for a while due to the extra adrenaline. But then I crash really hard and just have to be prepared for that. It is probably good that you know so far in advance about being in the wedding. Hopefully you can get most of your excitement jitters out in the next few weeks. After the idea of being in a wedding isn't quite so new, perhaps it will be easier to handle. Just be prepared for the excitement that will come the day before and day of the wedding so that you can "steel" yourself against it if need be.Definitely talk to your doctor about this and see if he has any suggestions for how to control the adrenaline and excitement that goes along with being in a wedding.Take care,Rachel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Burschman Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 Madeline,I don't know exactly what your abilities are as far as working out goes, but I know that that's supposed to be really helpful to burn off some of that extra adrenaline. I know it helps me!Can you do any exercise in a pool? Or maybe some form of yoga or stretching? Like I said, I don't know what your abilities are. Wish I could be more helpful!Amy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
masumeh Posted August 26, 2007 Report Share Posted August 26, 2007 hot baths. very relaxing. muscles wind down that way. also some tolerable physical activity will burn out the adreniline from your blood stream.Good luck, and enjoy your friendship and the wedding masumeh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxie Posted August 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2007 Thank you for all the sugestios! A week later I am calming down some, so is my bp! I"ve decided that I will allow myself to think about it only for a little bit each day, and as time goes by and sets in its not as much of an adrenaline rush, i just get a smile on my face! My dr isn't to keen on me taking other things besides my perscribed meds. It's just so flattering and exciting, I am sure you can relate, I have been sick since I was 12 and until the past year or so never really done anything normal or had friends. I used to dream about oppurtunities never knowing if I woud have them, somethinge excites me about putting on a pretty dress!!!! This little thing is something that gives me even more hope! I do a small amount of exercise and would like to increase it over the next year, I would like to get TONS stronger over the next year or so, but we'll see what happens. I have had a bad summer and am trying to find the best approach to strengthening my body so I can sit up for the bulk of it and walk down the aisle! Does anyone know the best way to do that? Madeline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Burschman Posted August 26, 2007 Report Share Posted August 26, 2007 Madeline,Do you know any athletic trainers or physical therapists? They would be able to give you some good pointers. Also, I think you probably could find information at a local YMCA, YWCA or other gyms. Local colleges or universities probably would have trainers available at a reasonable rate. You'd want to be sure to fully explain your particular challenges to them, and take along a POTS brochure.Getting stronger is an awesome goal! And it would have payoff beyond just the wedding. Good luck!Amy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxie Posted August 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2007 Funny you say that Amy, my friend getting married graduated from college last May with a degree in athletic training. However, he job is three hours away from where I live, but I could talk to her. Madeline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Burschman Posted August 26, 2007 Report Share Posted August 26, 2007 Excellent! She'd be great to talk to!I bet she could even send you some handouts on specific exercises to do for strengthening. I hurt my knee last year and went to an athletic trainer for rehab. I still have the sheets they gave me explaining what stretches to do.Good luck!Amy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan Posted August 26, 2007 Report Share Posted August 26, 2007 I also take Ativan in stressful situations, like before flying, just to make sure I don't panic. If you can get a prescription, be sure to try it a couple of times before the wedding to make sure it doesn't put you to sleep or something.One thing that helps me is to think of the worst case scenario. The wedding lasts an hour at the longest. No matter how you feel you should be able to last an hour. If you faint, there are lots of nice people around to make sure you don't get stepped on. You won't die, no matter what. If it were me, I would have a wheel chair attendant standing by. If you can walk up the isle, they should have a real chair for you in front. Then you can stand as long as you can, and then sit from time to time during the service. I know standing in one place is the most difficult thing for me to do. If you can't walk up the isle, your "attendant" can be there with the wheel chair. If you can't walk down the isle, you can signal your attendant to come to your rescue.Personally, I think working on walking would be a great exercise for you. A Mayo doctor advised me that we have to train our bodies to be upright and walking is the best way to do that. Baby steps. If you walk and increase it one minute a week, you will be walking 40 minutes by June. I also think swimming is useful.I think everyone gets nervous about being in a wedding. You'll do fine and the worst thing that can happen is you can say at least you tried. The best thing would be you had a great time and looked stunning.Weddings are a good place to meet a future spouse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Burschman Posted August 26, 2007 Report Share Posted August 26, 2007 Jan: Do you speak from experience? (I'm refering to your last line!)But you're right. Everyone always looks either so handsome or so beautiful!Amy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxie Posted August 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 I've people say that weddings are good places to meet guys, lol, but idk. I"ve only been to family weddings before so I can't really speak, but we will see next June won't we! I'm just happy to be in the wedding Jan, have you tried walking a minute a week longer? If so, how did you do with it? I am interested. My abilities right now sitting up for 40 minutes wears me out, so it may be a while before I can walk, but my friend also said I can use my wheelchair whenever I want, so if I could just sit up for the whole thing. And YES Jan, if I use my chair down the aisle I will have a groomsmen push me At my best I could walk for 10 minutes a day, so 40 seems far off, but you never know if I my body handles mestinon this go round, maybe I can walk for 10 minutes a couple of times a day I am just babbling, but w/e if anyone has any tips on building endurance PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!Madeline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejohnsongang Posted August 27, 2007 Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 CONGRATS!!!!! It's wonderful to be in weddings. I was in all of my friends and I've owned a lot of dresses I'll never wear again. But that was years ago, before I got sick. I only have 2 friends now...the one's who didn't bale out or think I was crazy when I got sick. The two I have left are the best and I wouldn't change them for anything in the world. The one's you know that will tell you something you need to hear weather you want to or not. I can imagine that you've had a pretty rough time of it since you've been sick so long. Enjoy this time at the wedding. You can help in so many ways even though you are in a wheelchair and might have symptoms. Sometimes it's the little things that mean the most to the bride. How about for after the reception you make the bird seed throws to hand out, or if using bubbles you can decorate them up nice and cute. How about buying votive cups, ivy and candles and make centerpieces for all the tables. Or you could make little thank you gifts from the bride and groom for each guest to take home. You could do little bags of mints or nuts. Or I've even seen a plastic spoon with a Hershey kiss taped to it with a little note saying thank you for sharing our special day attached with a ribbon. Or you could do a little message in a bottle theme with a little sand and a few shells and a note written in side. Lots of idea's out there to help you occupy your time, help with the nerves and help the bride at the same time.Good luck and please remember to post a picture for all of us if you can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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