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Not As "well" As I Thought


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I've been feeling alot better lately and have been back at work part-time for several weeks. I tried to get back to my normal work hours yesterday and work an 8 hour day. I made it through the day, but felt very sick the last 2 hours and all of lastnight and now this morning. I had to call off work today. I could tell by the way that I felt lastnight that I wouldn't make it to work today, but I tried anyway. It's so frustrating to want something so badly that everyone else takes for granted. In my case, all I want is to go to work, to pay off the ever amounting pile of medical bills. After I first was diagnosed with POTS and started on inderal I was fine for several years. I worked long hours in retail, took college courses and went out with my friends. If only I could get back to that point.... In the mean time I've resigned myself to the fact that I can only work part-time for now. After all that's better than not being able to work at all, and I'm very lucky that I can even do that. I guess I will always hope for more....

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I'm sorry you're having to face that you can't work full time anymore. I know learning my limitations has been one of the hardest aspects of being chronically ill. Perhaps one day you'll be able to work full-time again. In the meantime, I hope you feel better (both emotionally and physically) :)

Hugs,

Lauren

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Sorry to hear about how your are feeling. I understand where you are coming from. I wish more people knew how lucky there are that can work/ full time. I would give anything to be back at work. I was a manager and worked long hours. I now am lucky to make it a good 4 hours at home. :) I keep on trying and hoping for the meds to work, and hope things will get better.

I wish you the best and hope things get better! :)

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Guest Julia59

I filed for disability in 2004. I've worked for nearly 25 years of my life. I never got diagnosed with POTS until 2001, but I may have had it many years. I remember problems in 1982---and was eventually diagnosed with MVP in late in 1982/early 1983.

Beta Blockers were too strong for me then. I don't remember any of the fatigue symptoms until 1990---and that was only a few bouts of CFS type issues, weird low grade fevers, balance issues---for a few months, but I was still able to work. I was put on a beta blocker in 1990. I tried to go off the BBs in 1992, but failed miserably. I worked while all this was going on. I could shop, go out to eat and drink a couple magaritias, go to school also. When I crashed hard in Dec. of 2000 I started to find it difficult to work. I finally had to leave my job in April of 2001 after missing the whole month of March. In March, I had never been so weak in my life----finally in June I was diagnosed with the POTS----with more things diagnosed in 2002.

After my cervical spine surgery in june 2002 I went back to school in the fall 2002, and completed a medical coding program by the summer of 2003. I started to look for employment--(part-time)---all the way into early 2004. I had a couple offers for full time employment, and came very close to getting hired in a pulminologist office part time. It would have been perfect, it was down to me and one other person, the other person go it.

In late 2003 I started to get tired again, then the weakness got worse, problems with my legs, sitting for long periods-couldn't go to the grocery store on my own anymore---and I even got wiped out going on the job interviews. I finally filed for SSDI in July of 2004. I knew that getting too tired just for the job interviews was not a good sign. I had to look good, get dressed in my business clothes that I used to wear when I worked---so I was lucky that I had nice clothes for the interviews, but it all ended up a mute point.

Julie :0)

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I know exactly how you feel. This has just happened to me. AGAIN. I emailed my tutor last week to tell her I'd got my life back and was riding round Oxford, and everything was great.

I've just had to cancel yet another meeting because it now looks as if I[ve sprained my wrist and potentially broken a finger :P

I could scream on days like this. I feel like a failure.

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