Mrs. Glass Posted November 13, 2005 Report Share Posted November 13, 2005 Good MorningI have just been sitting here this morning and scanning the forum. It is what I try to do every morining. I dont sleep much so I am usually up by 4 am, no matter what time I go to bed. The ambien does not seem to work very well. I have these horrible feelings of guilt today, and I was just wondering if anyone else ever feels this way. My daughter told me yesterday that they are selling their house and going to see about buying the one next door to me. She wants to be close to me so she can take care of me. Her house is big and a lot nicer than the one next door. I feel so guilty because my family is giving up so much just because of me. I seem to be crying a lot lately. I guess that I am not dealing with this as well as I thought that I was. She told me not to worry, that this is something that she wants to do. First she quit school (she was in nursing school) so she would have more time to devote to my care, and now she is going to quit her part time job after they buy this house. I know that I will love my family living next door as we are all very close anyway, and I can see my two grandsons anytime that I want, but what they are giving up is almost too much for me to bear under these circumstances. It just seems that my families lives are now wrapped up in taking care of me. I just dont know what to do anymore. I just hope that this guilt will go away soon! Between all of this sickness, and fighting my insurance company to have the surgeon that I want and where I want surgery is about to drive me mad. Why do insurance companies try to be drs. My orthopedist said that I had to have a specialist in back surgery, because of all of my medical problems, and now the stupid insurance company said no that I have to use the one in my home town. That is scary, I know this dr. and he is the one that messed my sons knee up a few years ago. My orthopedist said not to worry that he would get it overturned, but it may take a while. Oh yeah! more time in pain and on these stupid pain pills. Im sorry for unloading on everyone. Some days are just like that I guess. Some days I dont seem to take things very well. I hate being sick all of the time, and I help this helpless feeling, where everyone around you is at your beckon call. I have always been very independent, always doing things for myself. Now sometimes I can not even get out of bed by myself. Well I better stop there. I just wanted to find out if guilt was just another part of this insane sickness, and then I just started rambling. Hope everyone has a symptom free day! Vanessa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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