breakthrough?

[persephone]

Now here is something, folks- tonight I feel like I've got my mind back again---it's AMAZING! The brain fog I've had since I arrived here is beginning to vanish.

[Sophia3]

glad you are feeling better.

[Evie]

Wow the fog has lifted! thats the best feeling.

I am so happy for you

Its funny how for weeks something can seem so complicated yet once that fog lifts its 1000x easier.... its truely bizzare.

Has anything in your life changed to help lift the fog? or did it just decided to lift on its own?

I hope this makes the rest of your experience easier, its so stressful when your mind wont work and you have all these looming deadlines. So hopefully this will take away much of the stress for you

[dizzygirl]

YIPPEE!!

Persephone.. I am so glad that you are feeling better tonight.. I know things have been incredibly hard for you...its nice to see that you are doing allright tonight!!

You go girl on your essay!!

Hugs to ya

Linda

[Sunfish]

glad you're feeling better...i've just gotten back to my baseline after my past few crazy weeks so totally get the relief that is.

here's hoping things will only improve from you from here.

melissa

[persephone]

Quick update- tutorial was great, essay was a success. I felt physically dire- the essay really knocked the stuffing out of me-but my mind still works, and it was really interesting, as my tutor (the amazing lady I've been telling you all about) decided, because of the sparkles I was seeing to read my essay back to me- that was a bit unexpected, but it was nonetheless VERY VERY cool! It worked really well- I should get other tutors to try this too.

It was just so inspiring- I feel like I've reached the turning point. I knew that if I could do this essay and do it quite well, then I would last the distance with this course- you all know how terrible I felt just 48 hours ago...I managed 3,500 words in about 24 hours, and my tutor told me it was GOOD and ORIGINAL

I don't care that my body's being so **** sucky right now,because I have affirmation that my mind can transcend it and still be lucid.

I was so worried that I'd lost the ability to work and think, but clearly I haven't! This is a HUGE relief!!!!!

I'm feeling like things are starting to come together now- but what a shame that no one has been able to give me the proper help before now to get to classes and to make the transition from home-and-not-functioning, to Oxford-using-brain mode!

My pulse is slower, so the tachycardia has begun to subside. My pulse was 170 most of Saturday, and it's only now that I feel it slowing a bit.

I am so excited- it feels like I finally arrived in the Oxford I dreamed of (except of course for the crappy digs, but that should be sorted out soon enough!) I went past the Magdalen tower tonight and it was all lit up -so beaituful-and I just thought "yeah, this is what I worked for, this is what I fought for."

[Evie]

Congratulations on going so well with your essay! Esepcially considering the circumstances.

Its nice to hear that you are feeling more positive about oxford now, sounds like you may have made it through the rough waters. Good for you

[mariancollins]

Congratulations, Persephone. You are tough stuff! I graduated from Cambridge in 1990, having had ME during my first year. It was very hard-going, and in retrospect I realise that deferring and restarting a year later could have been an option! In the end, however, I made it.

Cambridge was a much cherished dream for me, and I was a very highly driven woman on an intensive fast course. I feel for you and wish you every success.

Take very good care of yourself, be kind to your needs, and when you are in a bit of conflict (party/sensible bedtime etc.) just remember: what is the most loving thing I can do for myself right now? and above all listen to your inner voice.

You are doing so well. Regards Marian

[persephone]

THanks Marian!

I spoke too soon about stuff going really well- although my work was ok yesterday, today I've had seven mini-syncopal turns and after my seminar a massive convulsing session which I knew was coming but could do nothing about- I was able to tell people for about twenty minutes that it was coming and there was nothing I could do about it...I had a familial hemiplegic migraine this afternoon as well when I got back- my left side just went totally numb which was just rubbish really.

I'm way behind with where I wanted to be workwise too...but tomorrow is another day, I guess!

What course were you doing at Cambridge? I haven't seen you post before...but thanks for your kind words...if you survived then so can I! How did you get rid of your CFS?