Supportive Partners

[Merrill]

Danelle, your post of June 18 struck a cord w/me. You were so smart to show your husband what happens to your legs! I agree that men need concrete evidence to help them understand! I've been making it concrete for my husband for the last few months--starting at the time I got agressive about pursuing a diagnosis. I wanted him to understand why I was going through all the tests, so I'd put his hand over my heart when we were lying down and had him measure my beats against his (twice as fast). I'd point out that even lying down, my hr was faster than what his gets when he's jogging! And every now and then, I still will take his hand and put it over my heart and say, "Feel how fast I'm beating!" I think he gets it now... even to the extent that he took my freezing cold hand in his the other day and said, "your hands are so cold--is this the POTS too?" I just said mmm hmm ... and let him think his thoughts. (I always tell him in the morning when my hands have gone numb during the night--or sometimes he'll awaken on his own to the frantic sounds of my trying to wake them up and get the blood flowing again.)

He's very understanding and sweet, and I'm so lucky...He knows I just need to say these things out loud, to tell someone about my experience and then we both simply move on. He can't make it better or make things go away; he can just listen and give me a hug and maybe do a little extra when I ask for help.

He commented to me yesterday that I was very lucky to have found friends on this forum that I can talk to about all this. (I had been complaining that my in-person friends don't really get it. Some don't know about it, others know but don't ask or pusue more information on it.)

take care,

merrill