Laugh ..........oh , Dear How Embarrassing !

[willows]

Oh dear how embarrassing , I dont know if this has ever happened to you, but normally if I'm a ' little off ' I will not leave the house , but because my Husband cannot walk more than 5 yards at a snail pace and cannot drive, muggins here has to sort everything out in the house.

This morning I had to go to the next village o get some bits of shopping , nothing heavy just kitchen rolls and bread.

Well as I left with my trusty helper ( my son Mike ) me whispered in my ear ' if you want to be ready nice to me mum , I desperately need a new xbox 360 game ' .................... well as he has been SO good over the past few weeks with his help to both husband and I , I thought OK I'll treat him.

Mike went one way to get some stuff and I nipped into a big shop that sells them, seeing I hadn't got enough cash I thought I'd write a cheque, that when it hit

I got the cheque book out and started to write my name and my hand started to shake like mad , the shop girl gave me a sideways look........................

My hand got more and more wobbly and I started to sweat..........and sweat ..........and sweat..........the shop girl nudged her mate behind the counter and eyed me

I stood there sweating and dripping onto the counter , hand shaking trying to remain calm and give her the cheque..............she looked at it , then me, then the signature ..................... and called the manager over .

After a bit of whispering between shop girl 1.... and shop girl 2..... and manager they came and spoke to me . 'is this your cheque madam ?' ...........'yes 'I replied 'why' ?

Well its just that you seem to be in rather a state whilst writing it and the sales assistant is of the belief that this isn't your cheque book at all ..........

Of course I must have looked a right criminal standing there shaking and sweating whilst trying to buy something ................out comes my drivers licence and credit card and other ID including my disabled bus pass ( yes I've one of those as well ) ....................

'If you need any other identification ' I said 'perhaps you could call this number ' and handed him a business card with the chief constables name, private number and address on! 'This gentleman will vouch for me '

Needles to say I came away with my purchase ...............but so many other shoppers gave me 'the stare' and I felt so guilty , tell you what , I'd never be able to commit a crime if I wanted to because I'd get caught every time even before I'd actually done anything ............. When Mike met up with me again he asked me why my face was so red and I was soaking wet ..............'just dont ask' I said ' lets get home NOW ' .

Willows.

[SunsetParadise49]

Aww! Glad you're okay and everything worked out in the long run!

*hugs!*

[nadine]

Willows-

I know this really was a serious matter, but your stories do make me laugh!!

I am sure they felt badly after- i think if i was the sales person i would have asked if you were ok, or ill, not suspect you of a crime-!!

[Guest dionna]

that is a great story. i love reading all that you write because of the words you say and the way you arrange them in your sentences. i am sure you have an awesome accent. i have never heard a lot of the words you say and they are quit cute.

i am glad everything got straightened out for you. i hope your next trip is a lot better and have a lot less drama!

dionna

[willows]

Hey , guys ..........I dont have an accent really , well may be some posh London with a bit of Suffolk and a twang of Devon

I am a writer by trade now , given up my old jobs which were in order ;

1. running my own companys.

2. working at a posh hotel as a wedding planning .

Now I an self employed as a writer ..............I just love to make people laugh , its in my blood at the age of 5 I was writing and I haven't stopped since..............almost like my talking according to my husband !

I've had many a funny incident since I became ill , including passing out in Tescos dairy fridge whilst reaching for a pack of puff pastry, falling into our garden pond and swallowing love baby leeches...........that had to be pumped out of my stomach at the hospital 'ouch' ..... ..........blah !!! and tripping and head butting the side of the car knocking myself out cold while trying to hurry in an attempt not to get caught in the rain...........

Life so funny at our house , never a dull moment , never a miserable face and always a giggle about something .

Willows.

[jenwclark]

I'm so glad to know you're a writer by trade! You do have such a wonderful, vivid way with words.

And lucky us, we get our own private running commentary on your daily life!

Thanks for brightening so many days.

Spike

[willows]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! 'welcome to the wonderful weird world of willows'

I'm pleased you like my writings imagine living next to me !!!!

or even worse ...........being a member of the family , perhaps thats why I dont have any family left now ..........all gone mad !

Willows.

[becky]

ha ha ha, so glad it's not just me!

was in dorothy perkins about two weeks ago looking for an outfit for m boyfriends nieces christening, and i got that feeling, you know the one where your body is about to argue with you on weather or not you are standing up?

well, i knew i had about twenty minutes before i would crash land on the floor - so i was frantically trying on stuff and i thought sod it, so i picked up a couple of smart jumpers and some shoes and headed to the till (i don't bother trying stuff on if i don't have to) so whilst at the till i start sweating uncontrolably - like a shower down my face, i've gone very ale and i'm shaking as i hand over my store card, when the sales assistant asks me to sign it i look at her as if she's asked me to climb everest. Hmmm, can't remember my name or how i sign stuff, so i scrawl on the paper something illegible but luckily the sales assistant isn't really paying attention so she just gives me all the stuff! Gosh i feel that my card security is being looked after - not!

had to phone rob, who was outside to come and escort me from the shop and to the car still shaking and sweating!! was really surprised that the security guard didn't try to stop me!

[willows]

My local village stores are used to me now, at first when I used to turn up in my Pj's and dressing gown to shop they all stared at me and whispered behind my back but now they just go ..........' oh , its Ami , had another bad day ?, back off to bed again when you get in are you ?'

And when I go 'silly' and cant open my purse , sort my cash or write a cheque they just escort me home and I pay later .

I did have on big angina attack in the store once , boy did they all run around like headless chickens , it actually looks like I'm having a full blown heart attack because the pain is so bad .panic, panic, panic .

Now they are used to me , and I'm dragged into the staff office and a quick cup of coffee is made and my husbands called , they have even learned to take my pulse , now thats real customer care !

Willows.