Venting

[baby_boy]

Hello to Everyone!

Ive now quite colledge becuase i basiclly cannot cope any more. Im sick of all this. Last week i was due to go to colledge, i was fine, i walked to the bus stop, and sat on the wall, as i sat i got a skipped heartbeat, which set me off. On the bus i felt sick, and very anxious, the bus was FULL! i was scared. I got of the bus and jumped on the second, all of a sudden i went all hot, my HR went higher, i needed to get off the bus, i urged the bus driver to stop but he wouldnt, so i had to wait till the bus stop. I felt horrible, i was away from home, all alone, and this was happening, i was so scared. I got on the bus back home and went to the Job Centre, it was cold outside and the place wasnt open for another 10 mins. Poor me was standing outside, with a tachy episode going on, feeling very scared. I was that scared my body was trying to be sick. I tryed to focus on one thing, it was working for a second, but i just couldnt focus. I found it hard to swallow, when i tryed my throat wouldnt swollow, my legs felt like lead, i felt like i had to much space around me, my head was dizzy and light. I then decided to walk home from the job center. The moment i got home i felt fine, everything was normal. These episodes never happen in the house, only outside, its awful. I cant even walk through a shopping center alone any more.

This experience has made me quite colledge now, now im back to a usless idiot who dont get of the PC. Im scared to walk alone and scared to be alone.

On the potsy side ive been feeling ok, standing has been easier for me, although as a male, standing at the toilet can sometimes feel awful. Sleeping is hard for me at the moment, i always awake at night time with my HR super fast or Super Slow.

I think im gonna try and get some counsiling cos anxiety is not doing me any good.

[StandUpSitDown]

Best of luck to you!

Make sure you tell whoever you see what you described here - your symptoms not happening at home - only when outside.

I'll say this - my symptoms don't have any clue where I am... that's another way to say I get them at home as well as out of the house.

The major difference of 'at home' is that it is so easy to sit and/or lie down at home, that the symptoms never are allowed to get as bad. So my worst experiences are out of the house, but only because it may take me a while to get to a 'place to rest' - if I were to not allow me that luxury at home, I'd feel the same things.

[persephone]

It sounds like you got into a real panic. Tell them all about this when you go for the ECG.

It's your call to quite college, but I think you're the kind of guy who will regret it if you don't stick at it- what do you have to lose by persevering for a whole term?things can only get better, right?

If you do have difficulties using buses etc, there's a disabled students allowance you can claim for your long term health that allows you to get taxis. I had the assessment for Oxford this week and I'm getting it.

Check out your Local Education Authority website. (i.e- locqal council) and see what it says. You can go for an assessment but the LEA has to agree.

There are ways round this- if you can't do the bus, you can do a cab! If you're anything like me, you feel better once you know you can get to where you're going safely.

Don't give up yet!

hugs

[baby_boy]

I do get symptoms at home, no doubt about that, but nothing like i experienced the other day.

[faithinspires]

Sorry to hear you had to go through that, how frustrating. I have always had trouble with anxiety, but I have noticed that it is increased now, especially when I have symptoms and I am not at home where I can deal with them in my usual fashion. In public it is harder sometimes because I really don't want to faint in public. I tend to not like when I am symptomatic and strangers around me can even tell to the point that they ask if I am ok. (I would rather not be noticed)

It is stressful I am sure to be returning to school and stress can trigger symptoms.

I also had a hard time in public for awhile and my anxiety seemed worse than ever. I was on atenolol at the time, recently I was taken off of it and found my anxiety gone, thats when I realized that my increased anxiety had been a side effect of the medication. In public when I am symptomatic I try to do things to help when I feel my symptoms coming on: squat, stand with my legs crossed, hold on to something, drink water etc. When out and about I do become more symptomatic, my bp drops, my heart rate increases, thereby causing me to feel more anxious. The more in control my bp and hr is the less symptomatic I am. However, aside from this I do see someone for counseling to help work through the anxiety of having this illness and anxiety of being symptomatic in public. In public I have to walk further distances then around the house so I am more symptomatic. Also, if I am under stress I am more symptomatic. I think that you should not lose hope, this is something that can be worked through. It is just an adjustment, change in external influences, stress, increase in symptoms. Do talk to your doctor, and don't lose hope. Maybe with some med adjustments, maybe some talking it through, maybe different travel arrangement...but I think you may be able to overcome. You gave it your first try...an accomplishment in itself! Best of luck in the future!

[morgan617]

Certainly not in a position to diagnose, but it sounds like you've got a bit of agoraphobia. My son had this for awhile, but celexa seemed to give him a new lease on life. It is understandable, because none of us want to get sick in public. I don't because they'll call 911. I can go out still and do, even though I prefer to stay home, but I don't get the absolute panic you do.

I really hope you decide to get some counseling for this. It is nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of. It would be like blaming yourself for having blue eyes or something. But do realize this particular condition can be treated and sometimes easily. It won't help the pots, but it would be nice to not be so panicky wouldn't it? best of luck, morgan

[Jenn202]

Hi baby boy - I agree with Morgan that you should possibly seek some counseling. There are lots a good meds that can help with your level of anxiety.

As we all know anxiety along with POTS is plain aweful and can set us into a tail spin.

I know that I can get episodes of not feeling well if I know I HAVE to be somewhere at a certain time or have some big obligation comming up... For me I thik its the anxiety of not knowing how I will feel and if I will make it to the event or not.....

Anyway, I hope you feel better soon

[Dizzy Dame]

Baby boy,

I agree with persephone about trying to stick out this semester. I went through the same thought process when I got sick and almost quit school. However, my classes have become a good distraction from my illness. If I wasn't in school, the only thing occupying my mind would be my symptoms, and I imagine that would make things worse.

However, only you know how bad you feel, so the decision is entirely in your hands. I hope you are able to find someone (a professional) to talk to about this and hopefully you can start to feel better when you're outside.

Take care,

Lauren

[baby_boy]

Ive put school on hold. I know i shouldnt but i really cant go through with it at present.

Faithinspire has discribed exactly what i get, down to a T. As you said, the only place i walk is around the house, so walking a few miles makes symptoms worse.

Im now at the gym, again, as it makes me feel a whole heap better, when i go out and do things i know my body is able, its gives me great slef esteem.

Thank you all for your support, you really put a smile on my face.

Thanks

[pamela]

I have noticed a increase in the onset of my pots symptoms when I am out and about. When at the gricery store it is hard to remember what I went there for and standing is line *****! Then you do so much bending over and standing back up while checking out that the light headedness is way out of control. I now take a buddy with me. I can kean on the cart if I need to, thay can get what s on the bottom shelf and if I can't stand in line they will finish up for me. Most groceriy stores have a bench around where you can take a break.

I went to the mall for the first time in 8mos. It was crowded, loud, you couldn't get anywhere quickly. After walking the 1/4 mile to the front door(maybe not that far) I was out of breath and needed a break. While looking at the different store a headache came on, then I noticed again that my pulse was up and I had started slurring words! My mom was looking at me weird,then she noticed that my balance was off too. It was then time to sit down.

The moral to this story.. Go when the crowds are less, take a buddy in case you get in trouble, take a bottle of water or gator aid, and pace yourself. Remember babysteps...! Do a little more everyday but realize that there will be days that you can't do at all. If you are nervous and upset before you gey where you are going then definetly consult your doc. I was on Lexapro but it was aggrevating my dizziness. Now I use 1mg xanax as needed (right before going somewhere stressful).

[baby_boy]

Pamerla,

I wont deny that happens to me, the bending down is horrible, you bend down, blood rushes, get back up and Ouch! you need to pause, your HR Rises, you get the pain in your stomach, you take deep breaths, lean on your friend or grab something close. If your out and about its worse, you have to make yourself unoticed, so that you dont attract attention.

Worse thing is you do a mile to the local shops and your exshausted, yet you do 1 Hour at the gym and your fine. This is fustrating, one minute im fit and active, next minute BANG! im down and feel and act very unwell.

[pamela]

baby boy,

Ain't that the truth! I notice the that my heartrate goes up much faster abd sooner than what it use to when I worked out canstantly. I know that I am out of shape but as soon as I get the eliptical my heart rate is 130 or more 1 min inti the workout. However, if I use the recumberant bike I usually don't get above 130-140 during the entire workout. My normal training HR is 155-170BPM but the Doc lowered it to 130-140 max for no more than 5 min then gradually increase the length of time to 30min. Big change since I use to do about 170bpm for 30min-1hr with slow downs every 15 min.

So I do better at the gym but the store and mall stuff is so incredibly hard anymore. THen with aone year old too! Everyday to me is a workout, 20ish hours a day.

Sorry for any typo's. My hands,brains and eyes are all out of whack. Even when I proof read it takes me three or four tries to correct one word

Question though.. Hoe do you get rid of the tingiling, aslleep feeling limbs ets and that restless leg/body syndrome thing? Last night was agony and I ony got about 2hrs of sleepeven after pottasium,xanax and chammomile tea. I enden up sitting in the shower at 2:30 am!!

pamela