blackwolf Posted February 19, 2005 Report Share Posted February 19, 2005 Funny first:Non-medical dictionary:Artery- study of paintingsBacteria- back door to cafeteriaBarium- what doctors due when treatment failsBowel- letters like a, e, i, o and uCat scan- searching for kittyColic- a sheep dogComa- a punctuation markDiarrhea- journal of daily eventsDilate- to live longEnema- not a friendG.I. series- soldiers' ball gameHangnail- coat hookImpotent- distinguished, well knownMorbid- higher offerNitrate- cheaper than the day ratePelvis- cousin to ElvisPost operative- letter carrierProtien- favoring young peopleRectum- dang neared killed 'emRupture- extreme blissScar- rolled tobacco leafStrep- narrow leather bandSeizure- Roman emperorSymptoms- funny cartoon family on TVTablet- small tableTerminal illness- sickness at the airportTumor- an extra pairVaricose- located nearbyReligious:Two boys were walking home from Sunady school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil, one said to the other, "What do yu think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad."Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car. Deep Thoughts:Always keep you words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.Drive carefully, it's not only cars that can be recalled by their makers.Eat a live toad on the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.It may be that your sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.Never buy a car you can't push.Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, ecause then you don't have a leg to stand on.Nobody cares if you can't dance well, just get up and dance.The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.When everything's coming your way, your in the wrong lane.Birthdays are good for you, the more you have, the longer you live.Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?Some mistakes are to much fun to only make once. Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names and all are different colors but they all ahve to learn to live in the same box.A truelly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.These items were found in with the papers of my aunt who reciently passed away. they have brought me much enjoyment and I hope they do to you too. Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today.blackwolf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steph37822 Posted February 19, 2005 Report Share Posted February 19, 2005 oops Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gena Posted February 19, 2005 Report Share Posted February 19, 2005 Blackwolf,Glad you took the time and energy to post these funny and insightful thoughts. It was nice to read these before I start my day. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackwolf Posted February 21, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 21, 2005 i have alot more, but will post only on days that i'm not shaking as hard as i am tonite.blackwolf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tearose Posted February 21, 2005 Report Share Posted February 21, 2005 Yes, add more when you can blackwolf. Laughter is so wonderful! thank you, tearose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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