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some stuff for you to think about


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Funny first:

Non-medical dictionary:

Artery- study of paintings

Bacteria- back door to cafeteria

Barium- what doctors due when treatment fails

Bowel- letters like a, e, i, o and u

Cat scan- searching for kitty

Colic- a sheep dog

Coma- a punctuation mark

Diarrhea- journal of daily events

Dilate- to live long

Enema- not a friend

G.I. series- soldiers' ball game

Hangnail- coat hook

Impotent- distinguished, well known

Morbid- higher offer

Nitrate- cheaper than the day rate

Pelvis- cousin to Elvis

Post operative- letter carrier

Protien- favoring young people

Rectum- dang neared killed 'em

Rupture- extreme bliss

Scar- rolled tobacco leaf

Strep- narrow leather band

Seizure- Roman emperor

Symptoms- funny cartoon family on TV

Tablet- small table

Terminal illness- sickness at the airport

Tumor- an extra pair

Varicose- located nearby


Two boys were walking home from Sunady school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil, one said to the other, "What do yu think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad."

Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

Deep Thoughts:

Always keep you words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

Drive carefully, it's not only cars that can be recalled by their makers.

Eat a live toad on the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

Never buy a car you can't push.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, ecause then you don't have a leg to stand on.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well, just get up and dance.

The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.

When everything's coming your way, your in the wrong lane.

Birthdays are good for you, the more you have, the longer you live.

Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

Some mistakes are to much fun to only make once.

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names and all are different colors but they all ahve to learn to live in the same box.

A truelly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

These items were found in with the papers of my aunt who reciently passed away. they have brought me much enjoyment and I hope they do to you too.

Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today.


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